The Disney Diatribes- That Which Lies Ahead Sucketh

All right, I must be living under a rock, or something, but I have only just discovered that Disney has not completely handed over its fate to Pixar, and is in fact working on some more animated features (of consequence! That aren't sequels...)! As a 1990's kid, I remember fondly the days of The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast, which unfortunately dwindled as the suits who run Disney decided to repeat the same damn formula over and over again, only in different countries for each respective cash cow. Joy. But, hope springs eternal. I was absolutely sure that Disney had learned its lesson, and was now going to take some of that innovative Pixar risk-taking for its own, and show the world that you don't need to be 3D to be original. Greatest comeback they've had since their musical spree, right?

I was so wrong...

The first project I researched is set to come out in 2009, and takes place in New Orleans. It's going to be the first animated feautre by Disney to feature a predominantly African-American cast, and has some amazing people doing the voices, such as Oprah Winfrey and Akika Noni Rose, an actress who's recently been in the film Dreamgirls and a wonderful Broadway run of Cat On The Hot Tin Roof. Already, things are starting to look pretty awesome. Then, of course, I learn the title...

The Princess And The Frog.

According to this publicity blurb, 'A musical set in the greatest city of them all, New Orleans, The Princess And The Frog teams Ron Clements and John Musker, creators of The Little Mermaid and Aladdin, with Oscar-winning composer Randy Newman to tell the most beautiful story ever told... with frogs, voodoo, and a singing alligator.'

Guess what movie I'm not seing in 2009? I mean, it's not the fact that they're ripping yet another fairy tale for their monetary purposes. I can deal with that. This project has DERIVATIVE written all over it. They're recycling their earlier successes' directors, putting in a cutesy anthropomorphic animal (bet you it has a snubby nose and a heart of gold), and they're borrowing Randy Newman from Pixar so they can at least sound like risk-takers. Fantastic.

The next project, a CGI deal set to come out in 2010, is their retelling of Rapunzel, and I am not impressed. Apart from the fact that it features Kristin Chenoweth voicing the lead role, I see no reason to go see it. The blurb says 'In this new telling of the classic fairy tale, Rapunzel, audiences will be transported to a stunning CG fantasy world complete with the iconic tower, an evil witch, a gallant hero, and of course, the mysterious girl with the golden tresses. Expect adventure, heart, humor, and hair... lots of hair, when Rapunzel unleashes her locks in theaters for the 2010 holidays.'

You know what? This 'new telling' sounds pretty much the same as the story that I was told ten years ago every night before bedtime. It looks like they're not even going to have the bit where the prince gets blinded and wanders around in the desert looking for Rapunzel, who's given birth to two of his children by then. That was my favourite part, and it looks like the 'new telling' is going to completely omit it. And if it's not a musical, I'll eat my hat.

I don't know what else Disney is planning on doing after that, but if it's anything like the pictures that are intended to herald their triumphant return to the hearts of hardened children everywhere (who like Pixar better than Disney, anyhow), then it looks like a pretty bleak future for what was once one of the most innovative companies in North America.