You know sometimes I wonder why I’m with him.

But then I remember that I love him.

Well, I don’t know if I actually “love” him, but I do know that I have strong feelings for him.

But sometimes I just don’t know what I’m doing.

I feel so lost and confused,

Every guy I’ve been with ended with other girls calling me a slut or a whore.

Come on, really?

It’s gonna take a lot more than those words to hurt me.

But they make me wonder sometimes.

Is that why can’t I find the right person?

Wait, I have found the right person, haven’t I?

Then why am I still wondering?

I mean, at times it feels like we’re not together, and other times I’m deliriously happy.

I’ve just never been so happy. And the thing I really need the most is happiness right now.

I feel like I’ve come so far from where I used to be, but at other times I feel worse then I did then.

I just don’t understand. It’s driving me crazy.

And I miss him so much I can’t stand it.

He’s there and he says he loves me, but it doesn’t feel real sometimes.

I’m so scared I’m going to go back to that time, when nothing mattered.

Not that I hurt my mom or anyone else.

It took so much to get to where I am today, but it feels like love is dragging me back down.

Is it supposed to be so frustrating?

Or make me so happy or sad in a split second?

I wouldn’t know.

Everyone tells me I’m too young to be worried,

To think so much about a boy, or two.

I guess I have no choice, but to let it run its course,

The way it was meant to be.