The sun was just starting to set, and I was still on my way to Martha's house, for another one of her silly tea parties. Why she has these "Tea Parties" so late is beyond me. I mean, isn't tea supposed be held at 4pm, not 6? I swear, that girl is not normal, and never was

I don't even know why I go anymore. All we do is drink tea (no surprise there) while she mindlessly rambles. I don't even really like tea! But still, every day, I go out of my way to go 8 blocks, just for some stupid tea. Why do I bother?

Martha knows I hate coming, and always tells me I don't have to come, but I know she wants me to. I can see it in her eyes. And, maybe, deep down, I really want to come too.

"EMMMA!!!

Or not.

I was just about to knock at her door, when she just bursts out shouting my name, almost knocking me over in the process. "Emma Emma Emma!!" she yelled, "You're here! I was so worried you weren't coming!" All I could do was smile. Martha has always been this way; so full of life and spunk. She's like an endless bound of energy. I wonder if it's all the tea she drinks. "Yes, I'm here." I replied. "Let's hurry and get this tea party done with, I have a lot of homework." Okie dokie!" She said, and skipped back into her house, me following behind her.

We ususally have tea in her room, but today it was all set up in the living room. "It's more comfortable here" she said. I sat down and looked around while she got the tea. Martha's house was so old looking; there were antiques and plants everywhere! And it always smelled perfume like. I guess this is what happens when so many girls live in one house (It's usually just her, her mom, and her 3 sisters. Her dad's away on business)

"Okay, here's the tea" Martha yelled happily. She sat down and pored two cups of tea, and passed one to me. Then she went off into the mindless chit-chat she always goes off into. she does this every time. It gets annoying after awhile. I zoned out, and started wondering why I always come here for tea, when it's such a hassle. There's no obligation, but I still come anyway. Why, though?

~One week later~

Ugh. thank god school is finally over. Today was so weird especially Alicia

Today, I was talking (or to be more correct, complaining) to Alicia, an acquaintance of mine, about having to go to Martha's tea party. I was really complaining about how I was the only one there, and hat to sit through her babbling. Alicia looked a little puzzled, then smiled, and told me how luck I should feel about being the only one there. It was my turn to look puzzled, and asked her why. She gave me a rather unexpected answer; "You should feel happy, because it means Martha loves you the most. Her tea parties are more than just little gatherings, Emma. They are very special to her. She always talks about how excited she is that you're coming. or about what tea cakes she'll make for you. You're the most important person to her, Emma. "

She started to walk away to her next class, when shr suddenly stopped and said "You should treasure this time with her as much as she does. It may benefit you more in the future."

That answer was very complex to me; most important person? Sure, Martha is my best friend-even though she is the most annoying person on the planet- but I didn't think it went that deep. I thought about what Alicia said for a long time, but eventually i just forgot it. but the last thing she said always stuck with me. I never figured it out, and tried to just forget it, but it always crept up in my thoughts. I guess I'll never know what that meant for sure.

Needless to say, I did like Martha's tea parties a little bit more now.

Speak of the devil, here comes little miss sunshine now. Only, there was something different about her. She looked really tired and drained, and walked right passed me without a hello. Confused, I said hello, and that was enough to knock her out of her train of thought. "Oh, hi Emma!" She said, in her peky voice. But, this time, it seemed so.. forced. I tried to speak, but she cut me off, "Hey, Emma, I have to cancel tonight's tea party, okay? I'm really sorry, but i have to go somewhere."

I was shocked. Martha has never cancelled a tea party. "I'm really sorry. But hey! Now you can have time to do your homework and stuff! Also, here. It's a letter and a prsent! Don't open them until after Friday, okay?" I just nodded dumbly and took the letter and the present, and she trotted-or rather, lugged- off. I was still in shock. How could Martha cancel a tea party?! I was confused, perplexed, and-disappointed? Where did that come from? I don't even like Martha's tea parties! So, why am I so sad?

Maybe it's because you love going. You're so accustomed to it, you can't let go of it, even for one night.

I hate that stupid inner voice. Why can't it ever shut up?!

You say you hate going, buy your just too shy to admit you have actually someone that cares about you so much. A friend who always wants to be with you.

Please, just shut up!

You try to convince yourself more than anyone else that you hate it, but in reality it's what you love most.

I hate the inner voice. It always attacks you with its words.

You know I'm right.

Whatever! I'm going home! Hmph!

~Friday afternoon afternoon~

Martha hasn't been in school all week, and won't return my calls, so I'm going to her house. I really hope she's alright. Although, it is Martha. She's always alright. Still, I'm quite nervous. I finally got to her house after all that running, and when I knocked on the door, no one answered. I knocked again. Still no answer. I tried once more. Finally, Martha's older sister, Natalia-or, at least, I'm pretty sure it was Natalia- answered the door, and was crying her eyes out.

"Can I *sniff* Can I help you?" she asked through sniffles. "Yeah, ummm, is Martha home? She hasn't been in school all week, and last I saw her she seemed really sick." At the very mention of Martha, her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, my goodness. No one told you?" She said, trying to hold back more sobs, choking on them in the process. "T-Told me what?" I asked, fear in my voice. Why was she crying so? What did it have to do with Martha.

"I'm so sorry to have to be the one to have to tell you this, but Martha....passed away."

I was frozen stiff. Martha....was dead? "That's impossible!!" I shouted, tears starting to stream down my face, "She can't be dead! She was only a little sick!! How could she be dead?!" Natalia only cried more, but calmed down enough to tell me the story

Apparently, Martha developed a disease called Anemia when she was younger. It was very severe, and called for several trips to the hospital and several medications, all of which barely helped. Finally, though, they found one that worked for her, and she was almost perfectly fine-she still became fatigued easily and had to go to the doctor frequently-but she was much better than when she was younger. Everything was on the right track.

But recently, Martha had been feeling very sick, and even collapsed, breathing very irregularly. It was decided to take her to the doctor, who announced Martha was worse than ever. The reason seems is a mystery, but it was decided that the her condition naturally got worse, and that the medication was no longer strong enough for her, and only made her sicker. She was perscribed a new medicine, but that was it. There was not much more they could do for her at her young age. They got the medicine, Martha took a dose, and went to sleep that night.

She never woke up.

I was speechless. It all made sense to me now; Martha's frequent absences, trips to the nurse. Why didn't I figure it out? Why did I except her explanations of it being "just headaches and dentist appointments"? I could have been there for her, but I wasn't. What kind of friend am I?

"I'm so sorry. If you want you can come to her funer-wait! Where are you going?!" I didn't want to here anymore. I bolted out of there faster than I ever had before, tears flowing fast. I just needed to run. Run far away.

I spent all of that night, in my room, sobbing. I was sad, lonely, a little betrayed. How could Martha not tell me that this was going on? Why did she lie to me? Was I not reliable enough to know she was dying? I thought she was my best friend!

I felt horrible thinking that. Martha was gone, and here I was blaming her foe not telling me. I just wish I could have been there for her, like she always was for me. I feel like such a bad friend. I wish I could been there for her last moments.

God, I miss her so much. I sobbed even harder, when suddenly I remembered the letter she gave me. I desperately looked for it, and finally found it in my drawer. I sat down and stared at it, wondering I should open it. Martha did say to open it after Friday evening. I ripped it open, and inside was a letter, written in Martha's hand writing. It read;

Dear Emma,

I know you must be very confused and sad, not to mention hurt. But I just want to say that I'm so sorry I bever told you of my illness. I couldn't bear to give you such horrible news, as I knew it would make you worry day and night, and what trouble it would have caused you. I'm so glad that you were-are-my best friend ever. You know that, right?

The most important thing I did befire my death was to be with you as much as possible, a.k.a my tea parties. I'm very grateful that you came to all of them. I know they were troublesome, and that you would rather be somewhere else, but ever moment of those gatherings of tea-tee hee!-was so special to me, more so than you could ever understand. I'm sorry we couldn't spend more time together, doing things that you wanted to do. I really wish we could have.

Do you still have that box I gave you? I hope so. Iy's a very special present. It's something that was very precious to me, becaus it made me remeber all of our wondeful memeories together. I hope it does the same for you.

Emma, you really were the truest friend I ever had. Words cannot say how much I appreciate your patience and understanding with me-even though I knew you struggled to keep the first.

Again, I'm so sorry I never told. It would have caused to much trouble, and would have kept us from so many happy memories. I wanted both you and I to be happy before I passed away.

I hope you can forgive me

With lots of love,

Martha

P.S. I'll never forget you

When I finished the letter, my face was completely drenched with tears. Martha only wanted to spend more time with me. How could I be so scornful? I can't even say sorry, because she's no longer here. "I'm a horrible friend." I whispered, crying more after that.

I looked over at the present, and hesitated opening it. when I finally did, I cried even harder. It was the teapot Marth always used at her tea parties. I couldn't stop crying. The tears kept coming and coming, and wouldn't stop.

I ended up crying myself to sleep for the first time in years.

The years past. Seasons came and went. School trudged on like it usually did. Not much had changed since Martha died. The school held a ceremony in her honor, and people were sad for weeks. But eventually, they moved on. I wish I could say the same for me.

I could never get over the guilt I felt over Martha. I felt like such a bad friend. I was less sociable than ever and bareky spoke to my family. I just couldn't forgive myself.

One day, I had stopped at her grave, like I do every day. I would usually just stand there, maybe put some flowers there, but today was different. Today, I finally did what I neglected to do for years; I apologized.

I poured my heart out into that apology; I went on and on about the good old days, and I said how much I appreciated her, how much she was my friend,etc, and how much I loved her as my friend. But most of all, I apologized for being so scornful at her tea parties, and that I really did love them deep down; to realize, though cost so much. I just stood there afterwords, waiting dumbly for her grave to reply. As I only heard silence, I started to cry, and just as I was about to leave, I heard a whisper, that sounded just like Martha:

I can't forgive you.

I was horrified. Martha didn't forgive me. What can I do now?! I thought it was all over, when I heard it whisper again;

because you haven't done anything wrong.

Of course. Martha doesn't see anything wrong in what I did. She did, after all, know I really did love coming for tea, even though i never knew it until it was to late. She has nothing to forgive me for, and I have nothing to forgive her for. She didn't do wrong either. She only wanted happiness, for both of us. There is no wrong in that.

I started walking home, a heavy weight finally off my shoulders, to continue the 6pm tea time. Even though Martha won't be there anymore, that doesn't mean we'll never have tea again. We will

One day.....

(A/N) Oh my God! Martha nooooooooooooooo! I'm so sorry I killed Martha!!!! I was almost crying writing this!

R&R!