Author: falLenvalLey-18 PM
it was the day that when she got tired of waiting, and the day that he had nothing to give.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Words: 7,584 - Published: 03-26-09 - Status: Complete - id: 2651694
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"The last thing you'll ever see before twilight"
"You're hurting my like hell! And you know what? I never trusted myself to love someone, but with you…only for you, I did! I risked everything…the little everything that I have" Ken told her vehemently that caused remorse to spread its wings on her whole being.
I was busy writing the story that I haven't finished for almost three months now when I finally decided to look up and roam my gaze around the University's late afternoon ambiance. Few blinks later, I glanced at my wristwatch that said 5:02 pm. Irritation suddenly spread its power over me as I shoved my hand inside my bag and searched for my phone. I immediately dialed the number, pressed the call button, and once again heard the most annoying voice that I have been dealing for how many times already.
"The subscriber cannot be reached, please try you-" I hung up, letting out an angry sigh as I tried to focus on my writing once again but unluckily, all my thoughts went out through my brains' window.
"Argh, you are so dead!" I mumbled under my breath.
I wanted so much to just go and forget about what have been planned for today, yet the other side of my rational being would not let me. Moreover, I am sure it would take a lot of effort to drag my feet to the exit of the campus. For some absurd reasons, I could not leave. Therefore, I ended up filling my lungs with air and convincing myself to extend my already shattering patience.
For a brief moment, I was watching the little fellas who were busy running everywhere at the huge field. Then with just a blink of an eye, someone suddenly sat beside me on the bench and alarmed my silence by giving me a hasty kiss on the cheek. I instantly turned to look at the presence with evident irritation on my face.
"I know…and I'm sorry" his familiar pleading tone filled my ears, already knowing the consequence there is.
"What happened to four o'clock? It's nearly five thirty!" I was so upset, and I just help it.
"Yes, but…" he trailed off sighing in defeat.
"I could not believe you did this today AJ," I told him bitterly. "Of all days." I added fretting.
"Yan, I'm sorry…" he looked at me, his eyes wearing that one familiar sincerity.
I looked away because I hate to see him like this; just a simple gesture of sincerity from him, especially by the look in his eyes, always seemed to make me forget the anger that I feel towards him.
"Yan please…" he muttered as he reached for my chin and made me face him again.
"I just…it's just that-" I tried to defend myself but he cut my statement.
"Yan, you know I hate doing this to you as much as I hate telling you this, but you know my responsibilities." He said profoundly and I was left unspoken.
"Professor Castro's class ended late and I need to stay behind and deal with the mess that the class created, you know I just can't dash off leaving the laboratory like that." he paused to look at his feet, I guess not wanting to meet my gaze.
"I know that you've been hearing this from me for the nth time already but…that's all I got" he momentarily looked at me "Just that…" he added, his face revealing the sadness of his tone.
"Now if you really want to be angry with me and can't help but feel so upset about this, then I'll understand because I honestly believe that I deserve it, so go on." he delivered as he face the other way.
"But I still hope that you'll understand me," he continued, this time looking at the wide big field. "this time, again."
"I'm sorry…" I finally heard myself said.
He suddenly stared at me as confusion crossed paths with his face.
"I'm sorry for acting selfishly, I mean…before we even started, I already know your obligations as a work student, but I still got mad at you." I explained feeling so guilty.
He continued to listen to me in stillness.
"And you know I understand you Jei, I always try…" I added, flashing a hesitant smile.
There was suddenly a tinge of happiness within his chocolate brown orbs. "Thanks Yan," he replied as he took my hand. "a lot."
"But you look so fed up…you must be very tired." I stated as I can see it through him and feel in his gestures.
"Yeah, a bit" he admitted honestly.
"So I'm thinking of canceling the-" He cut me once more.
"No. No Ian." he contradicted with determination.
"Jei…" I said in a tone that I hope would make him change his mind.
"I said no." he finished.
It was almost a year and a half ago when we both met. We were classmates in one of my hated subjects, Biology. It was the second day of class of the second semester; I was inside the Biology laboratory room and was busy writing something on a piece of paper instead of paying attention to our professor who started discussing about I-don't-know-what topic. I was busy writing a poem that is due this afternoon while totally being ignorant of the busy world around me.
"You came like a light at the end of the tunnel;
Like an oasis in the desert;
Like a boat in the deepest ocean;
Like radiance from the summer sun"
"Miss Franco!" the teacher's angry voice called my attention.
"Sir?" I asked, alarmed and panicky.
"Do you mind to listen?" he said with sarcasm in his tone and facial expression.
I suddenly felt everyone's stares at my face.
"Sorry sir." I muttered, embarrassed as my face turned sunset red.
"I don't want to see you writing again except when I ask you to. Do you hear me?" he questioned and continued to humiliate me in front of everybody.
"Yes sir." I nodded.
"And do you understand?" he followed up.
Argh, this is a real definition of a modern torture and professor's really doing a great job.
"I do sir…" I said my voice louder than a whisper.
"This is not high school everyone! Grow up and start learning." He said to the whole class, well thanks to me!
He left me a stern look before he finally decided to stop the torture.
"Great" I mumbled silently.
I think that today's not my day and what had just happened wasn't enough to ruin my mood. Just when I'm about to keep my unnecessary paper inside the bag, a sort of angry wind blew it from my desk. It landed at the back area and stayed on the floor beside the foot of one of my classmates. I was already hoping that it would just stay there until the end of the class and wait for me to pick it but then, for some unfathomable reasons, it did not.
"No…" I muttered as my classmate of mine picked the paper and suddenly started to write something on it. He's not listening as well, I can see that. But I don't care what he's busy of, I just need the paper back.
I wanted to shout at him to stop abusing my paper but of course, I could not do that. Then he continued to write…and then write, and write some more.
"Stop that!" I groaned and absent-mindedly jumped off my feet then directly went to him as I had completely forgotten about the Biology class. I stood beside him and saw my previously neat paper that's now obviously ransacked by formulas and bloody equations that I had never encountered before. I got mad, really mad. Suddenly I realized that everyone's already gazing at me like I'm one idiot person who stood inside the room, doing the stuff that I'm exactly doing.
"What have you done to it!?" I complained, unbelievably staring at him.
"What?" he looked up and asked innocently but annoyed.
I took the paper from him at the same time cursing him for what he had done to it.
"This is not a scratch paper!" I told him sarcastically, wanting to summon a curse.
I saw him open his mouth to argue but Professor Enriquez suddenly appeared right next to me, glaring at the both of us. Oh, yes! Then I remembered that we're in public.
"Excuse me!" Professor Enriquez exclaimed with rage.
"I don't know what you two have here, but if you don't pay attention or even pay a little respect on me, you certainly know where the exit is." He stated pointing at the main door.
"Sorry sir" I apologized as the realization that I did another stupid thing hit me.
"It sounds so familiar Ms. Franco, I wonder why." He snapped as I recalled that I apologized at him at the same manner awhile ago.
My attention went to my classmate only to find out that he's as well glaring at me.
"I want you both to stay after the class." He announced.
"No." my classmate objected.
"No what?" Prof. Enriquez asked, irritated.
"I can't stay after the class, I have an exam on one of my major subjects," he reasoned out, his voice arguing.
"You got yourself into this young man. Stay." Professor replied with authority.
"I didn't, she's the-" he tried to object as he pointed at me but professor did not let him.
"Whatever, just stay." Professor stated as well as ended the argument and grabbed the paper from my hand.
"And you," he turned at my direction "you go back to your seat." He said.
I slowly took lazy steps towards my seat being followed by everybody's what-does-she-think-is-she-doing-stare. I didn't need to look back to that classmate because I am already sure that he's already throwing dagger stares behind me.
"My lucky day…" I said to myself, suddenly remorseful.
Minutes passed, the bell rang. Everyone vacated their seats and they all directly went outside the room. There were only the three of us left. Professor Enriquez finished erasing the writings on the board before he called us.
"You two come here in front." he demanded.
When we were both facing him, he opened his class record and searched for something. I, on the other hand avoided contact with the person I am standing next to.
"You're both second years, you already know the rules inside the classroom, I suppose," he delivered but none of us made a sound.
"Now, I want you to fill the first two center boxes of the seat plan" he ordered.
"Sir, I'm not used sitting in front" my classmate complained once more.
"Good, this would serve as training to you Mr. Villegas" Professor commented.
I thought that I heard him groan in disappointment before he wrote his name on the seat plan.
Alexander James Villegas, I saw him write with his neat penmanship.
"Now it's your turn Ms. Franco." Professor told me as he lend the seat plan to me.
I obediently wrote my name at the box right next to where his name was.
"We're almost done here…here's the paper, you decide among yourselves who'll take it, I'll see you both on Thursday, together and in front" he said emphasizing the last four words of his statement before he went off the room.
I was staring at the paper thinking of grabbing it but when I'm about to execute the action, his hand took it first, leaving my hand touching and feeling the empty surface of the table.
"Hey!" I exclaimed.
"I'll have it." He stated casually.
"You can't. It's mine" I objected
"It was yours," he said emphasizing his second word "but you got us in this trouble, remember?" he added harshly.
"Yes, but you shouldn't have written weird stuff on my paper!" I argued.
"Why does it matter to you so much? It's just a paper with scribbles on it." He described.
"That's not just ordinary scribbles as you describe it, I need it." I insisted, I just couldn't let him win.
"But I need it too, I had formulas written at the back," he reasoned out as he showed me the back portion on the paper "I have an exam and I'm running very late because of what you're doing." He replied.
"Then just copy it to another paper, I can wait, I just need the paper back," I told him, trying to think rationally "I really do."
"You heard me, didn't you? I'm already running late." He replied in gritted teeth.
I could not take this any longer so I ended up telling him…
"Good." He muttered as he dashed off.
There was some kind of frustration in his eyes as he looked at me now, and I could not be ignorant of the fact that I caused it, my words did.
"You don't have to worry about today Jei." I told him.
"And I say let me," he insisted "Yan, if you're really upset and can't get over it, well you can hate me tomorrow or the other day, the next day, I really don't care what day, but please not now…not today" he was saying it so fast.
"I'm not upset anymore. It's just that you have two major exams tomorrow, right?" I defended my point.
"Yes I have, but why do you worry about them so much? It's not like you'll be the one to take them." He explained in a-matter-of-factly tone.
"Of course, you know I will not dare take any of your exams because it will drain all the blood in me," I replied adding humor on my tone "but I know your priorities." I added.
"Yan, I really appreciate your concern for me and my bloody exams as you always call it, but really…I have tonight to study." He promised.
I remained muted, quite persuaded by this guy who never failed to impress me by his dedication to his studies. I finally let out a small smile in defeat.
"C'mon, just let me do this okay?" he beseeched, gently insisting his point.
"Okay, you won." I surrendered, unable to argue anymore.
"I knew I would…I always do" he said braggingly.
"You're nuts AJ!" I commented, laughing.
"Oh yeah! That's why you like me very much…" He agreed laughing hardly.
We were always caught in situations like this. From the moment I first knew him, he had already proven me wrong enough; from an ill-tempered, unfriendly, and very unpredictable classmate that I used to have, to a somewhat nice person who became a seemingly satisfying boyfriend. Now, I still smile every time I recall the things that happened between us during those times that we are not the way we are now.
It was another dull day with my disliken subject when unluckily, Professor Enriquez assigned me and AJ to be partners on the first reporting task about tissues. I really don't know if professor's doing it for a purpose. Oh well, we're not allowed to complain anymore knowing that it would all be useless. He would not listen to our alibis, so I accepted my bitter fate. As students coming from different colleges, we were obliged to set a particular time and date to meet and talk about the report. We agreed to meet at the library the following day at five o'clock.
I was already at the library busy scanning a book that was full of Shakespeare's works.
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, thou art more lovely and more temperate" I read the line from his sonnet eighteen before I glanced at the giant clock and it said 4:36 PM.
"Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and summer's lease hath all too short a date." I continued.
I almost memorized the whole sonnet yet there's still no sign of him. It's already ten minutes after five. I hate waiting, I hate late people, I hate it…and to sum it all…I hate him. Every minute, I would initially glance at my wristwatch and complain.
I roamed around the library and returned with a couple books of poems. The first one contains the poems of Emily Dickenson, Walt Whitman, TS Elliot, and Ralph Waldo Emerson; the other one is that of EE Cummings.
"If beauty is made for seeing…argh! No stupid it's not beauty…it should be eyes." I annoyingly told myself. I find it already hard to concentrate so I took a deep breath, trying to set aside my irritation.
"If eyes were made for seeing, then beauty is its own excuse for being…" I repeated the line from Ralph Waldo Emerson's The Rhodora.
I engrossed myself with the other book; I scanned the pages while trying to find something that would catch my attention. It was the only way I could kill time.
"I carry your heart with me; I carry it in my heart," I read the first two lines of the poem and I kinda find it nice so I took all the remaining time reading and familiarizing the said poem.
There suddenly came a work student who reminded me that the Library is about to close. I looked at my watch and found out that it has been so long…it's already 2 minutes before six in the evening.
"Oh, what happened to five o'clock?" I told myself angrily when I set my foot out of the library.
I waited for another twenty minutes outside but there's none from him, not even the slightest part of his shadow. There also came the rain that immediately poured down.
"You came without warning!" I muttered my voice louder than a whisper.
The angry raindrops complemented my dreary mood. I really…could not help myself but hate him. He kept me waiting for I did not know how long already. Now "hate" seemed to be my word of the day. I hate the rain for pouring down, I hate the library for closing, I hate my Biology teacher for pairing me with that person, I hate the report, I hate myself for hating everything that I could think of, and of course I should not forget…I hate him more than anything or anyone now!
Six thirty, I could not stand it anymore. I withdrew the umbrella inside my bag and took the way out of the campus. I wanted to cry for the thought that I have waited for nothing. How could he do this? I exerted so much effort just to be here today, should he not be doing the same thing? He's really getting into my nerves.
The next day, Biology class came so abrupt. I found myself seated on my permanent seat not wanting to talk or even glance at anybody. I did not even have the right spirit to open my book and take a look at my report that is due today. I looked at his empty chair wanting to kick it out of the window. I wanted it out of my sight! And I certainly know where this is leading me, all the way straight to a 5.0 grade and it's all because of my very nice partner. Minutes passed, he came seconds ahead from our professor.
He sat next to me as we faced Professor Enriquez as he wrote something on the board.
"Reporting is rescheduled on Thursday"
"I have something important to do now, I'll see you all next week and by that time, I expect that everyone will be ready with their assigned topic. For the mean time, I will give you time to be ready. I hope you'll all use this time wisely."
After professor said his line, he got out of the room as he left my seatmate and me a queer look. I do not know if he meant something or just plainly looking. There was like an awkward silence between us. Moments later, I was already making lines at the back of my notebook and saw him making and dealing with formulas once more; his forehead showed lines that were not usually there. He must be having a hard time solving whatever he had on that paper of his. But I don't care about his work! I should not so I hastily looked away.
"Bloody equations!" I muttered and I did not know if it was loud enough for him to hear it. However, he remained engrossed on his little bloody world of numbers and stuff that for sure I could not get along with. I waited for another few minutes, yet there was no improvement, he continued to be ignorant.
"This is completely over!" I blurted out this time making sure that he has heard it.
I saw him looked my way before I vacated my place. I hastily went outside the room and headed all the way to the exit of the building. I was stopping myself from yelling at anyone.
"Hey!" a familiar voice called behind me.
I stopped walking and turned back to face him.
"What is that you want this time?" I asked unable to stop myself from being harsh. He deserved it, I supposed.
He stood there in silence, I bet giving me time to calm myself.
"How could you be ignorant like that? How could you act as if nothing happened?" I continued to ask wearing the same mood.
Still he did not let out a word and it made me more pissed.
"So, are you going to stand there not talking at all?" I was glaring at him this time. I waited enough. I maneuvered to leave but…
"I'm sorry…," he said nonchalantly.
"I mean it, I'm sorry" there was somewhat unfamiliar something in his voice.
"It's not as simple as you think it is" I told him hardly.
"I know…that's why I'm apologizing to you right now," he defended himself.
"I waited for more than an hour and that's too much," I reasoned out
"I was there" he muttered, his voice louder than a whisper.
"Yeah right" I snapped, "Just admit it." I demanded sternly.
"Admit what?" Confusion visited his calm face.
"That you don't care about this report and to whatever grade we're going to have and most especially that you're irresponsible." I was blurting this time.
He looked at me as if taken aback because of what I said.
"I'm sorry" there was mild bitterness in his tone.
"Oh yes! As if everything would be okay with your sorry." There was still harshness on my tone.
"I am a work student," he said briefly. "And the reason why I wasn't able to come on time yesterday was because of my work, my supervisor asked me to lend over time and I can't say no to him. It was an emergency and I was not given any choice. See, I am here because of my work and without it, I won't be able to go to college." He explained and it caught me, I felt guilt suddenly starting to spread within me.
"Yet, I still came yesterday…I dropped by the library after I finished my work, hoping that you would still be there, but what was I thinking?" he smirked. "Who will wait for me?" He added and it made me feel worse.
"I really don't know why I'm telling you this…" he paused to meet my remorseful eyes. "Maybe because I know how much you hate me now or maybe because I want you to know that I'm not as irresponsible as you think I am" he continued with profoundness in his ways.
Now, I felt so stupid…so judgmental…so selfish!
"I'm sorry, I hope you'll understand," he muttered "But if it is really too late for my apology, I'll just have to talk to Professor Enriquez once again and ask him to assign me a new topic and give you a new partner." He was about to turn around but I stopped him.
"Did you talk to Professor Enriquez about this?" I asked, finally able to find my voice.
He nodded. "And I think he'll understand…" I did not let him finish.
"No, you don't have to tell him anything" I intercepted.
He looked at me with baffled expression.
"I believe that we can still work on the report together," I stated hesitantly. "And sorry for the things that I said about you, I didn't know." I apologized.
He looked at my face with a bright smile pasted on his face. And seeing and finding out that he knows how to smile genuinely is a completely new different thing; a pleasant discovery.
"You didn't know anything about me…that's an excuse," he said this time using a friendly tone.
I tilted my head down in response hoping that I could come up of an immediate way to escape stupidity, because the unreasonably absence of words, for sure made me look dumb.
"But I hope that we'll both have a better start from here because I know that you hated me since that day that I took your paper and wrote bloody equations on it." He explained and his last statement quite bothered me as I recalled something that I have said awhile ago..
"You heard it?" I asked finally able to find my voice again.
He nodded in response and he freed his hand from holding a book with linear blah…blah…blah…on the front page, and offered it. "I'm AJ" he introduced.
"Arianne, but you can call me Ian." I replied as I shook hands with him.
He took my hand and the books that I had with me as we head out of the place. When we reached the huge field, which was considered as the heart of the campus, he made me run as fast as I could.
"Hey, why are we so in a hurry?" I asked curiously amidst my unstable breathing.
"Of course, you said I just have the whole afternoon of your day, which I believe that I have already consumed enough." He stated as he took time to face me.
I continued to stare at him quizzically.
"I have something to show you and it wouldn't wait for us, so we need to be there, you need to see it," he explained quite excited "now."
We continued to run in the middle of the vast green-ness of the field. The air makes my hair dance with it and I felt good. And with the thought of his fingers intertwined against mine, I could not be happier. AJ never failed to amuse me. There would be times that he'll surprise me that he could play the guitar and does well in sketching.
He glanced at me once more while tightening his grip on my hand. The way he stare and smile at me makes me realize how lucky I am to have met and have him in my once soon-to-be-dull life. Nobody really needs to remind or tell me how blessed I am because of him…I feel it right then…since that day.
The semester's nearing to its end and so our Biology class. It was our last meeting with Professor Enriquez and after the bell rang, all our classmates dashed off the room except AJ and me. I was about to leave the room as well when he came and stopped me by the doorstep.
"I thought you have a major class after Biology." I said wondering.
"Yeah, I have." He replied casually with his hands shoved inside his pants' pockets.
"And I bet you're running late now." I guessed.
"Yes but it doesn't really matter that much now." He reasoned out quite anxious this time.
"Are you sure? I mean…don't you have an exam? I thought I saw you writing bloody equations awhile ago," I told him half-smiling. "Weren't you?"
"A quiz, yes…but I assure you I am not dealing with equations." He spoke.
"But you were writing, and you're in fact sort of…I don't know…maybe confused." I insisted.
"Well, okay I was writing." He admitted.
"So what could you be writing rather than formulas?" I asked, intrigued.
"I, uhm…I was busy writing this." He told me as he showed me a piece of folded paper.
"What's this?" I asked and I am surprised with his actions.
"Open it." I heard him plead.
I opened it and stare at his neat penmanship.
When you love someone, say it. Say it out loud.
Say it right away or the moment just passes you by
And you may never get the chance again.
I looked at him puzzled. I've just read a wonderful line and it made me think a lot why he let me read it, why is he doing this anyway?
"I don't get this AJ." I said meaning the act.
"It said that when you love someone you should say it, right?" he asked.
"Yes," I answered, "where did you get this?"
"I uhm…it's from the movie My Best friends Wedding." He replied looking quite embarrassed.
I smiled like nuts "You're watching a Julia Roberts film?" I asked unable to believe.
"Well, yeah…my younger sister forced me to watch the movie after I asked her to lend me a wonderful saying." He explained quite uneasy.
"Okay, so why would you need a line such as this?" I would like to clarify and not jump up to any wild idea.
"Because…" he muttered.
"Because I may n-never get the chance again so I need s-say it now." He was quite stammering.
"Say what?" I was clueless.
"Ian…I," he paused to look at me deep in the eyes, "I like you" he blurted, holding the gaze.
"You-" I cut myself and the absence of words made me look stupid in front of him.
"See? I knew this is coming." He said letting out a sigh while his shoulders went limp. "It took me every ounce of courage to tell you this and not to look idiot..." he was stating it so fast. "I should've figured it out…and now you, you just kept silent, and I'm afraid that you won't talk to me ever again." He was blurting out already.
"AJ…" I struggled to reply.
We took the entrance of one of the tallest building inside the campus. He was still taking hold of my hand as we ascended on the stairs but my knees grew weary and already find it hard to keep up with his pace. I stopped for a while to manage a deep breath out of exhaustion.
"You're tired," he stated "aren't you?"
"Well, we're like in the 4th floor already and it seemed to take all my reserved energy" I replied.
"Okay, then I'll have to carry you." AJ said as he pulled me closer to him.
"No," I immediately objected, "it's not like I don't know that you're also tired."
"I can still manage," he insisted flashing that usual nutty grin "believe me."
"We can take a rest for a while." I suggested as I tried to step away from him.
"Sorry but that is not part of the plan." He told me.
I looked at him embraced by confusion. "You're absolutely not talking figuratively, but why is it that I can't quite keep up with your language." I said.
"As I told you earlier, I need to get you up there before dark, this thing waits no one, so please…" he once again walked closer to me with his back facing me "hop in."
"You're really up to something crazy AJ, I can feel that." I accused.
"I am," he admitted smiling "so c'mon and let's get the crazy stuff started." He insisted.
"Are you sure about this?" I doubted.
"Never been this sure, ride." There was demand on his tone.
I finally gave in to his idea. I wrapped my arms around his neck gently not wanting to grope him as his arms took my legs on the either side of his waist. We continued to ascend on the stairs. All the time, I was busy wondering what could have he prepared up there, but cut it off. I do not want to think of anything…I do not want to spoil it for him. He needs a little cooperation, I thought.
"Jei," I murmured behind his ears.
"Hmm?" he responded.
"For carrying you?" he asked, I bet puzzled.
"Partly…" I replied.
"Partly? I'm not sure that's reasonable enough," he smirked "educate me please."
"You don't have to be confused." I told him smiling.
"But-" I did not let him finish his statement.
"Shhh…just accept the kind word from me, okay?" I interjected.
"Ay - ay captain!" he saluted laughing, letting go of my right leg for a moment.
I moved to touch my lips on his cheek.
"Wow, thanks for that strength booster." He continued to laugh.
We both roared the stairs with our childish acts.
I always want to stay this way, yet our love was not all sweet. Like any other relationship out there, it's bittersweet. I recalled that one unforgettable quarrel that we had.
We have been taking the evening field of the university, our feet touching the misty grass that covers the surface of the earth.
"AJ can you please wait?" there was irritation on my voice.
I exerted so much effort because he was now yards away from me.
"Please Jei...don't act like a child." I accused angrily.
He turned to look at me, his eyebrows furrowed and his usual calm face expressed evident pain and rage that he's trying to resist. He's always like this every time he would get mad. He would not talk to me not wanting to yell or say anything bad.
"And how do you want me to behave Arianne!?" he asked, this time unable to control himself.
I know that he was really trying his best to be composed but he failed. The anger in his eyes informed me of his breakdown.
"What do you want me do? Smile? Rejoice after I saw you with Lance?"
"But Lance is just a friend AJ!" I replied defiantly.
"Oh yeah! Regardless he, being your ex-boyfriend who's still madly in love with you, that's just friendship." He snapped.
"In love with me? Who told you that?" I questioned confused.
"Whoever told me about it is not the issue Arianne, it's you and that Lance!" he stubbornly insisted.
"AJ, Lance told me about his new life, we we're over a long time ago, how could he be in love with me like what you're accusing, when he's so happy with Cherry?" I defended myself.
"Cherry?" he was quite unsure.
"Oh yeah…by the way Cherry's his girlfriend with whom he's so in love!" I snapped.
He kept quite but did not let go of his anger.
"Let's say that Lance really is in love with me…so what?" I was so pissed. "So what!"
He remained silent.
"Does it mean you don't trust me? Is that it AJ? That's why you're so pissed?" I asked wanting to cry.
The loaded ship of silence from him triggered me to let go of my pain.
"It's you that I'm in love with," I told him who was gazing away "I thought that you're very well informed about that." I was hurting so bad that my tears automatically rolled down my checks.
"Don't do that in front of me," he said with remorse on his tone.
"You're making me do this." I replied exactly knowing what he meant.
I saw him removed the lump on his throat.
"Now if you still refuse to believe me, then it's your freakin' choice!" I blurted out as I walked away from him. He's so absurd and I absolutely hate him right now.
That night was one of the most difficult to overcome that even my favorite pillow could not send me to the ocean of unconsciousness.
The next day, I was surprised to see him waiting for me outside the room of my last class in the morning. He showed up without warning which is not his usual doing.
"What are you doing here? You have your duty." I said monotonously as I already got used to his schedule.
He just stared at me wearing that familiar look in his eyes.
"Could you stop doing that?" I hissed. "You know I hate it when you stare at me like that."
"I'm sorry Yan…" he began. "Forgive me for being so stupid and shallow minded." He added as he dropped his stare on the floor.
"I thought you'd never realize." I mumbled.
"Please…I won't be able to forgive myself if you're breaking up with me because of this." He said and there was intense remorse on the way he delivered it.
I took a deep breath and finally understood.
"Who's breaking up?" I asked him as he faced me, his eyes wondering. "Because I'm sure it's not us." I added and saw that one familiar smile on his face that meant happiness.
We finally reached the rooftop and when we were already at the doorway and before he opened the door, he asked me to close my eyes.
"What's the blind thing for?" I asked jokingly.
"Just be obedient Yan and do it, okay?" He pleaded talking to me as if I am a stubborn child.
"But I think it's getting dark out there, no need for that." I reasoned out.
"Not that dark yet, trust me…it's not like I'm going to let you fall." He said as he slipped his hand to mine.
"Of course you wouldn't do that," I smiled "You wouldn't even dare to think of that." I finally agreed so I slowly closed my eyes.
I heard him pushed the door open as he pressed his hands on my shoulders and led me outside. I thought that we're already at the center when I heard him spoke.
"I could not really come up of a wonderful gift for you Yan, I tried so hard and did my very best to understand and read literature like you do. I went to the library and courageously faced Shakespeare, Browning, Dickenson and some other poets that you really like. I also thought of memorizing a poem or a sonnet but I'm afraid that you would kill me for not being able to give justice on them," he paused to let out a hesitant laugh. "I even tried to make a poem but it turned out crappy, I can't get the words to rhyme, you can't even call it free verse and when I read them, it sounds so…so I don't know, maybe funny or terrible. Well, you know how nonsense I am when it comes to that nose-bleeding stuff like this…" he trailed off; I guess not knowing to what say anymore.
As I listened to him, I could not help but smile in amusement. I did not know but I find it amusing to hear him talk like this and thinking of what he has been doing before this day makes me want to bark with laughter. Of course, I know he goes to the library, but only to consult the books of the experts in numbers…oh there goes that awkward topic again. However, I really appreciate what he did, I really do.
"Then I thought of giving you something that you'll always see everyday, something that you'll always love to stare at, something constant and real, something special and natural…" he added using the same kind of tone.
"Jei, are you talking about yourself?" I guessed humorously.
"No, silly…you already have me!" He replied bragging and laughed even more.
"What is it? You're killing me already." I stated, unable to wait any longer. Well, he could not blame me, he's making me excited.
"Okay, I hope you'll like it, open you eyes." He whispered on my ear.
I gently opened my eyes, blinking several times before keeping my gaze steady on what he wanted me to see. Then there it was; it's the great sky view that welcomed my eyes.
"Take my gift…the afterglow." He muttered behind me and the sound of his voice seemed to complement with the ambiance.
"Happy Birthday Yan." He greeted as he went in front of me and shoved his hands on his pants' pocket.
"Jei, it's beautiful," I said to him "thank you!" I exclaimed as I hastily hugged him.
I continued to gaze at the sky. Different eye-pleasing colors scattered across the boundless sky's breathtaking view. I always thought of sunset as the best thing the sky could offer before twilight but this, this is exceptional. The afterglow seemed to be beyond wonderful. Violet, orange, yellow, red and blue had amazingly complemented each other leaving the sky to be like a masterpiece that of a great painter.
"This is perfect Jei!" I told him still in amazement, when I finally let go of him, "you're such a genius." I complimented feeling a little jumpy.
"Wow. That's good to hear," he replied, "you really liked it?"
"Yes! You're right…this is so real and this," I smiled "this is the most special thing someone has ever done to me. " I said feeling ecstatic. "The best gift, ever."
"Well then, I guess I have proven to you that I'm not just pure numbers, formulas and bloody equation, eh?" he was stiffing a laugh.
"You're always more than that to me Jei, you're more than who you think you are," I told him honestly. "I could never ask for anyone else."
"Thank you." He muttered as he leaned closer as he gently pressed his lips on mine.
We were now both staring at the slowly fading colors in the sky.
"Hey wait…I have to return something to you." He reminded as he shoved his hands inside his backpack.
"Here." He gave it to me. It was the exact paper that he took from me that day during our first meeting in Biology class.
"You know what? I think we forgot to thank some things," he said as his hands were now wrapped on my waist and his chin rested atop of my head.
"What some things?" I asked puzzled.
"Biology. You, not being a good listener inside the class and this paper," he enumerated "without them, I guess we never would've come to this."
"And your bloody equations too Jei, let's not forget them." I added smiling.
"Yeah, and someone as well…" he delivered as I looked up at him.
"Professor Enriquez." We chorused and broke with a crazy laugh.
Later on, he wanted me to come closer to the edge.
"C'mon, let's search the view over there." He said leading me towards.
"No." I replied as my hand gripped his arm.
"Why? What's the matter?" he asked.
"I'm afraid of falling…" I told him reminding him of my fear of heights.
He let out of a chuckle and continued to drag me closer the edge.
I stiffened and did not dare to make a move.
"Seriously, you're afraid?!" he said unbelievably.
"Obviously, I am…and I don't care if you laugh at me or think of me absurdly stupid." I reasoned out.
He laughed some more.
"Go on take your time and make fun of me Jei…you're doing a great job." I told him quite pissed.
"Really, you have no reason to be scared at all Yan." He stated with assurance as he pinched me on the chin.
"Why?" I hastily asked as he moved his face closer to mine.
"Because I have wings." he whispered before pressing his lips on my forehead.
There we were standing under the fading afterglow.
- fallenvalley_1 8