Title: 2gatsu. – KyouyaxHikari – One-shot.
Author: Lara Manic
Pairings: KyouyaxHikari
Rating//Warnings: PG, some language, implied character dying.
Disclaimer: I own them.
Synopsis: Kyouya reflects on his time with Hikari and smiles on a winter day…
Comments: I'm in a drably mood after my last update. =D These two are my favorites. 3

Winter wonderland. He guessed that was the only way he could describe the park right now, the whimsical picture the description brought to mind made him smile. There weren't very many people out, a few stragglers in the early evening light, the sun beginning to set beyond the city.

So he was alone, but he was enjoying the gentle solitude amplified by the quiet fall of snow. The pale powder reminded him of skin, smooth and soft, light in color and often hidden from the world. Except him.

"...Such soft skin…like a baby..."

"Well, I'm not a baby, so don't call my skin that."

"I was trying to give you a compliment."

"By insinuating I've got child's skin?"

"By saying it makes me want to keep touching you..."

"...Oh...."

He chuckled at the memory as he walked, keeping his eyes ever intent, yet calm and serene. He loved long walks like this, rain or shine, or in this case, snow.

"Hey, Hikari...gotta a question for you...."

"Hey, Kyouya...got an answer for you..."

"Smartass...I want you to move in with me."

"...That wasn't a question."

"Ah, guess it wasn't...but will you?"

“That was a question…and…I will…”

He closed his eyes, stopping in the middle of the deserted, snow covered pathway and facing the sky. The feeling of cold snowflakes touching his skin like wet caresses, the weightless flakes on his lashes felt like feathered kisses, and when they melted, they felt like frozen tears.

His own tears were long gone and he truly wished they weren’t, he really needed a good cry right now. It’s been so long since he truly let himself go, but now that he had so little time left, he felt like there was so much he should be doing. Yet he knew it was worthless now, to even go through all the ‘what ifs’ at this point.

Smiling serenely, he continued on his walk, this park one of his few sacred sanctuaries that he often escaped to when he needed a good chunk of time to himself. Right now, he wished his little lover was here with him, but the blonde's band was on tour and wouldn't be back until the following wee. On the other hand, he didn't want to tell the other anything. He just wanted to hold him, kiss him, and tell him he loved him.

He was told he only had a while longer, years of smoking like a London chimney had finally caught up to him. He should have listened when his doctor told him to stop smoking, but being the stubborn man he sometimes was; he just kept going.

The only thing he couldn't handle was telling Hikari. He didn't think he could take seeing the younger man's reaction were he to tell him of his fate. No, he was keeping it to himself until the last minute, until he really had to tell Hikari...

He started coughing. It hurt to breathe and his stomach was tightening, and his lungs were burning as he choked, finally collapsing to the hard ground. One hand covered his mouth while the other clutched at his heart, eye squeezed shut painfully as he kept coughing, feeling something wet on his hand and knowing exactly what it was before he even looked.

It was getting worse everyday. He'd have these horrific coughing fits and hack up a handful of blood... He was suddenly glad Hikari was gone the last few month, he could imagine how freaked out the blonde would be if he found out.

Once his body finally calmed down, he buried his hands in the snow as a way to clean off the evidence, his shame and regret. Afterwards, he slumped over and finally just plopped backwards into the snow all spread-eagle.

He closed his eyes and reveled in he icy wetness soaking through his clothes, not that he cared, he was already sick enough. He broke from him reverie when his phone vibrated violently in his pocket.

"Hello..." He said, smiling because he didn't even need to look at the screen to know who it was.

"Hey...I've got good news." Finally, his love's voice.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"We're coming home early." Hikari answered happily.

Kyouya's lips curled into a relieved smile, maybe he could tell Hikari when he got home...

"That's good, I missed you a lot..." He said finally, chuckling softly.

He could almost hear the smile in Hikari's voice, "I know, I can't wait to see you. Anyway, I gotta go, we have one last meeting tonight, then we're on our way back tomorrow."

Kyouya finally let himself grin, "Good luck then. I want you back in one piece."

Hikari's clear laughter rang out, "You will. I'll see you soon Kyouya... I love you..."

He smiled, "Yeah... I love you, Hikari."

A wave of sudden calm settled over him as they hung up and he put his phone away. He decided then, that if he lived to see Hikari come home, he'd never tell him. He didn't want to ruin Hikari's happiness with a revelation like this.

He wanted to see Hikari's smiling face until he faded away, not see crystalline tears streaming down those smooth cheeks. He loved Hikari so much it hurt, and he knew he was being cruel by not telling the blonde the truth, but... He was being selfish.

Hikari would always be his, no matter life or death. And snow would always remind be his favorite reminder...of his love and his devotion to Hikari.