Seeping Soulfully.

It's been some time now,
And not much has changed.
(I lie, it's exactly the same)
I still feel it, it's there,

As I walk home,
It resounds in my steps;
When I'm with a friend,
I feel it in their anxious glances;
When I'm reading a story,
The happy ending is when
I'm reminded of the downturn;
(Of what seem to be made-up events)

But it gets easier with time,
It seems it's lessened
(Lying on the bathroom floor, crying in vain)
to a dull, throbbing pain.

Except for when I walk outside
alone in the rain,
(The pattern of my wasted? days)

It crashes into my world all over again,
I want it, but I don't want it,
-But what's it matter?
(There is not going to be a change in tide)
Does it make any sense at all?

(Why does it feel so worth it?)
Is it really worth all my hurting?
Why do I feel so alone, so deserted?

I'm losing memories,
Memories I so badly wish to keep,
Why does the brain forget,
As the heart leaks...?