This isn't TECHNICALLY a rant, but the really dumb laws did really confuse/amuse me enough to wite my unit essay (the unit was on Europe, duh) on some of the odd laws I came across. (Let me just say though, we have some weird laws here in the US, too. Look it up.) Seriously. I'm not making any of this up. Oh yeah, sorry it's short and non-angry. How terrible. My Geography teacher loved it, though...

P.S. If you are from any of these countries and are offended in any way: Sorry. It was completely unintended. Let's stay friends. And if you know why some of these exist, feel free to educate me. I love learning about these things.

Dumb Laws in Western Europe

Europe was once the center of civilization. It contained the highest levels of learning, held some of the most powerful empires, and it commanded a good amount of respect. Still, their days of glory appear to be in decline. Not only are some of the leaders vile, dissolute creatures, but also they are (and seem to always have been) quite stupid indeed. It is said that all laws were created with some purpose in mind. In other words they made sense to someone at some point in time. This is becoming increasingly difficult to believe.

Starting in England and Scotland, the laws make no sense whatsoever. For example, it is illegal for a bed to be hung out of a window. What caused lawmakers to pass that? Perhaps someone was injured when a bed was hung out of a window. Also, an interesting religious law states that a bishop must inspect any young man who begins to develop a lisp. This is to be sure that the young man is not developing homosexual tendencies. One would think that some gay rights activist would notice this law and protest.

In France, the laws are more amusing than senseless. One very funny one is that an ashtray is considered to be a deadly weapon (I know, who knew?). Also, couples are not allowed to kiss on railways. This is surprising because France has always been associated with public displays of affection. In addition, no pig may be addressed as Napoleon by its owner. That one is slightly explainable, if one thinks about it.

Many of Germany’s laws are strange as well. It may be observed that many office buildings in Germany are long and one-story. This is because there is a law ordering that all offices have to have a view of the sky, however small it is. Those going ice-skating must keep in mind a very important law: Speed limit. The speed limit for ice-skating in Frankfurt, Germany is 50 miles per hour. Not only that, but every child born on August Eighteenth must be inspected for witchcraft. Though this law sounds pointless, this is actually in effect due to superstitious belief that an evil warlock was born on the same day over three hundred years ago.

In Switzerland, a person can be punished if he or she leaves their car keys in their car. This only applies if the car is open. More humorously stupid laws there are as follows: it is illegal to flush the toilet after ten o’clock PM, and it is illegal for a man to relieve himself while standing up after ten o’clock PM. While an ashtray is a deadly weapon in France, a pillow is considered a “passive” weapon. Lastly, it is illegal to wear a mask while on strike (don’t think about that one for too long or blood will come shooting out your nose).

Finally, Sweden has perhaps the most amusing, stupid, and illogical laws in Western Europe. It is a commonly known fact that prostitution is legal in the country of Sweden. However, it is still illegal to use the services of a prostitute. It is also illegal to repaint a house without a painting license and the permission of the government. An understandable law was that, of the land that he or she owns, a person only owns it half a meter deep into the ground. This makes sense in a way because there could be valuable resources deeper than one meter deep into the soil, such as oil or iron.

For most of these laws, it is impossible for most people to understand why and how it was thought out, if at all. It has been suspected that perhaps some of the leaders of the government made like a Roman emperor-only instead of appointing a horse as a council member, they made these laws. Other, like more optimistic people, hope that these laws were a necessity at some point in history. Perhaps there was a good reason behind having a speed limit on ice skaters, or sending lisping men to bishops. My personal opinion: those lawmakers are just plain bored.