For Big Jack...I can't believe it's almost been a full month without you...I can't help but to think of you...something always reminds me of you everyday of my life...

Footprints in the Sand

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I’m going.
You walked with me,
When I was all alone,
With so much unknown,
Along the way,
Then I heard you say,

I watch as kids run around with their uncles. Happy and laughing. I get drawn back to you. Somehow it always happens, at least once a day. I see your picture up in my room. I can't even bare to look at you. It's impossible for the words to go through my head...for me to be able to accept the truth. I can't believe. I don't want to believe it. And one month hasn't changed anything. How could some one as amazing as you just go like that? Without warning, without cause. You are a strong mountain. Perfect. Nothing but the best man I have ever known. So why is it that I had to get that phone call? I don't know how I am supposed to go through the rest of my life without you. Forever seems far too long.

You were everything to me. You were my tall teddy bear. The man who I loved so much. It never mattered to me that you weren't family. You were incredible. You were somebody that I couldn't leave Delta without seeing once. I remember when I was little, I'd always go and see you, and you'd give me a milk carton and some icecream.

I put my icecream from Dairy Queen down. It's too painful. Even the simplest thing as an icecream was hurting me. And I know that it was going to be like that for a very long time. It was something special between the two of us, and of course, my Poppa Jerry. I walk over to the trash and put it in there. I just can't eat it. It's tearing me apart way too much. All I want is my Jack back. My wonderful, special friend Jack.

I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

I head back into my car. I can't think or see anybody but you. I wipe my eyes, crying still. I'd found out the night before, and ever since, hadn't been able to stop crying. My lot don't get why. But then again they didn't know you. I wish they had gotten the chance. You were a strong brave hero. An amazing guy. I turn up the song on the radio. Even though it hurts because it's Who You'd Be Today, I can't bring myself to turn it off. I hit my hand on the steering wheel. It's not fair! I want to scream to myself. But I can't bring myself to do that either. I feel the tears start to come down quicker, faster, and in a bigger ammount. How could this happen?

I pull out my phone and turn it on silence. I can't be bothered right now. I can't bring myself to talk to anybody. Nobody needs to hear this. So I slowly start to go back into the memories of you and me. All those fun times up at Meadow Gold. It was just too much fun. I don't know how all that can be gone.

I see my life flash across the sky,
So many times have I been so afraid.
And just when I, I thought I lost my way,
You give me strength to carry on,
That's when I heard you say,

You always said you'd be there. I start to wonder how that promise could of been broken. You were never one to go back on promises. You were too great of a man.

I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled
With sorrow and despair
And, I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand.

I sat down on the couch, letting the blow hit. It was too hard to see you as being gone. And on top of it, you weren't here. I hadn't seen you in two years. It tore me apart. But somehow, you'd just have to be there. I knew it wasn't like you to abandon anybody. That just wasn't you. It would never be the kind of person that you were. The man that everybody had loved and like so well. The man that was Jack Hawkins.

When I'm with you,
Well I know you've been there,
And I can feel you when you say,

I can hear your voice in the back of my mind, telling me that you love me. Telling me that you are always at my side even though I can't see you. That you will never be too far away from me. I can hear your promise and I know it's true. Any promise made by you I can believe in. Because you are you.

I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled
With sadness and despair
I'll carry you when you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand.

And you've made an imprint on my life. And that's why you are always going to be there at my side. I love you, my wondeful friend, Jack Hawkins. May you rest in peace and find peace in heaven. I can't wait till can see you again, my friend.

When your heart is full of
Sadness and despair, (and despair)
I'll carry you when you need a friend. (I'll carry you)
You'll find my footprints in the sand.