Will I ever fall in love?
It seems that is the question I've been asking myself
A lot lately.

I don't know why,
I'm only a kid
With not much to lose

Why do I worry myself with such things?

I wish for something
Strong and

Intense

Something Rare and Sought after.

Why do we always want to things we won't have?

I wonder if I'll ever have someone that will
Complete me.

Make me

Absolutely

Happy.

I don't ever want to be dependant on anything

. . . Then why do I wish for a love that will make me
Weak to my knees?

I don't ever want to not know right from wrong.

. . . Then why do I wish for a love that will throw all
Morals out the window?

Death scares me.

Maybe I want love to become brave.
Maybe I want love to become the best form of me.

-----But wouldn't that change

Me

from

Me?

I don't want to change.
I want to be loved for me.
But doesn't love change you anyway?

. . . then is love a bad thing?

Something so life-altering
And different
And…. Scary
Must be a bad thing.

How can I want such a bad thing so much?

Love can hurt.
Love can heal.
Love can lie.

Love can do all, but I'll never know.

Unless I put myself out there.

Scary.

Why do we have to possibly sacrifice ourselves
To achieve one mere thing?

Is love really that great?

----I know the answer.
Will I ever act on it?
Will I ever have the chance to?----

04/5/09