Chapter One

Most of the time we’re just fighting or having sex. It’s got to the point where I find it hard to distinguish between the two. They’re pretty similar, really. In the end, we just end up getting hurt.

I have a sister. Did you know that? Yeah, a twin sister. She’s called Julia. Julia and Helena. Original, right? And even more original, we have always been the exact opposite of each other. She’s shiny and bouncy and happy. Her dark brown hair is nicely styled and she wears ‘cute’ clothes in various shades of pastel. She listens to pop music and reads romance novels.

I am cynical and prickly and... well, a bitch really. I dye my hair black and it’s always tied up. My clothes are dark and usually a bit worse for wear. I listen to metal and I box.

What? You didn’t know that? Yeah, I’ve boxed since I was ten and my psychologist made me take my anger out on a punching bag instead of Alecia James’ face. It’s not like I could help it. She was a bigger bitch than me. I know, I thought it was impossible too.

I’m not sure if the boxing helps or not. Sometimes it does. Other times it just makes me angrier. There can be something relaxing about it though. Beating the crap out of a bag (or a person) with the soothing sounds of the chain squeaking (or cries of pain) running behind it.

I guess this story is about me and her. And Alex. It’s about him too. Or at least, he’s in it as well.
I guess I better start from the beginning, huh?

________

Julia and I turned twenty one in September. We had a party, or rather, Julia had a party and I attended. Okay, I sat in a corner and drank for the entire thing. I have high alcohol tolerance. Julia and I would hang out on our own later anyway. Grab some of those sweet alco-pop things and a Bruce Willis movie and enjoy being together. Is it sad to admit that she’s my only friend? She is though, despite our difference. She’s my best friend. But most of all, she’s my other half. We’re not identical twins, but we might as well be.

Julia walked over to me and pulled my seventh beer bottle out of my hands. “That enough, Helena.” She told me sternly.

I sighed and stood. “I’m going to bed. Happy birthday, sis.”

Julia hugged me before I could leave. “You too.”

I sat on my bed for a long time, looking out of the window at the party in the garden. Julia seemed to shine and the party-goers flocked to her like moths. People always seemed to be drawn to her light, her personality.

I push people away. It’s okay, I know I do. But not her. She’d never leave me.

Something was different though. She wasn’t herself. She was... quiet and reserved. She smiled, but it was a sad smile. It was just as beautiful as always, but it was muted.

It was like someone had turned the dimmer switch down on her internal light. I sighed and closed my curtains against the light and noise of the party. I made a note to check on her later before rolling over and closed my eyes. I dreamt of the swing of the punching bag and my sister’s screams.

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“How was the party?”

It was the next morning and Julia was shoving beer cans into a black bin bag. She shrugged and smiled slightly. “It was alright. You know; the usual kind of piss up.” She squinted at me and grinned. “Some of the guys were interested in you, but your glares scared them off.”

I rolled my eyes and swallowed my mouthful of cereal. “Like I’m interested in those idiots.”

Julia shook her head at me. “They’re not idiots! Wes thought you were cute. And he’s started with that big law firm. Lane, Kale and Pitt.”

“Right, Jules, cuz lawyers can’t be stupid?” I replied.

She stuck her tongue out at me. “I can take you to the gym if you want.”

“Why?” I asked. “Where are you going?”

Julia started to load dishes into the dishwasher. “I have to go to the doctors. Just a regular check-up.” She added quickly as my face darkened.

I saw her face lose some of its light and my eyes narrowed. “If you’re lying to me I will find out.”

She shook her head swiftly. “I’m not.”

I rinsed my bowl in the sink and pulled my hair back from my face. “I’ll just get my stuff.”

I paused as I shoved my kit into my gym bag. Julia was hiding something from me, and it troubled me. If only I had known... If only I’d forced her to tell me! But there’s no use running it over now...
Where was I? Right, the gym.

Yeah, Julia was quiet the whole ride, deep in thought. Although we were so close it sometimes felt that we could read each others thoughts, we couldn’t really. But in those minutes I really wished I could.

I got out of the car and she waved me off, the same way she always did. But something was off. I should’ve sensed it then. But I shook it off.

Once I had changed into my usual sports bra and shorts, I took up my usual treadmill and started to beat out a pace that made the other runners look at me with insecurity. Not my fucking problem that they can’t keep up.

You have to admit, I may be a fucking awful people person but I can beat anyone in any sport. I was made to run and box and fight.

I guess it’s because of how I was born. Julia slipped out first, easy as pie. I came second, my own umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. I had to fight to live in my first hour of life and I’ve been fighting ever since. I watched the people in the gym come and go for an hour before getting off the treadmill and letting my limbs rest. I wiped the sweat away from my neck and gulped on water, ignoring the looks I was getting from the big guys in the weights section. They took no notice of me when I wore baggie hoodies and t-shirts, but flash them a six pack and they were all over it.
I checked the wall and saw it was my time for the boxing gym. An hour where I could pound the punching bag and forget about the world. Perfection, no doubt about it.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

There was someone in my space, at my time.

A guy with dark shaggy hair looked down at me from the ring where he’d been jumping rope. “Huh?”He asked me idiotically.

“I have the gym booked now.” I informed him, throwing my gloves onto a bench. “Get the hell out.”

The guy cocked his head to look at me. “Really? Cuz I was sure the planner was empty.”

“I always have the gym for an hour on a Tuesday and a Thursday. Every week. For the last three years.”

The guy smiled infuriatingly at me. “Is that so.” He hummed. “Well how about I fight you for it?”

I laughed loudly, without humour. “Are you serious? I’ll annihilate you.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

So that’s how I met Alex.

He was such a cocky shit. And for good reason really. He was a fantastic boxer, still is. He could almost hold his own against me. Almost. I beat the shit out of him that first fight.

And he took it all. Everything I gave him. A round house to the stomach. An uppercut to the jaw. He took it all and never even whimpered. And afterwards he smiled at me through a split lip. He was a sportsman, in a way I knew I never would be. I hated to lose. But he took it so well that it kinda knocked me for six. As we sat on the benches, sweating, I passed him a wet towel.
“For the lip.”

He smiled and nodded at me. “Thanks.”

I grabbed a jump rope and moved onto the floor, beginning my reps.

He stood to watch her. “I’ve never seen a girl fight like that.” He remarked easily.

I just kept jumping.

“I’m Alex, by the way.”

“Helena.” I told him through harsh breaths.

He smiled at me and swigged from him bottle. “I guess you want to be left alone now.”

I stopped for a minute. “You can stay if you want. As long as I can have the punch bag next.”

His smile widened. “That’s cool.”

And that how it started. And I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that wanted it. Really wanted it.

We shared Tuesdays from then on. Building up a steady relationship. It wasn’t a friendship, really, or any other kind of relationship. We just... were. We used the gym in almost complete silence, barely acknowledging each others presence.

It wasn’t until a month later that this relationship began to change. Maybe things would be different if they hadn’t.