I sat on the bar stool completely bewildered by what he was telling me. He paced back and forth, his shoes making soft squeaks on the linoleum floor. I shook my head trying to get the cobwebs out and the understanding in. He was in the middle of talking when I cut him off.

"So, let me get this straight. You have feelings for me?" He half shrugged and nodded.

I took his lame response to be a yes and continued "Strong feelings?" That time elicited a grunt.

I took a deep breath, trying to avoid the bubble of irritation forming in my chest. "But you've been ignoring them for kicks and giggles?"

He lifted his head up to look at me, a look of exasperation on his face. "It isn't quite like that." His tone was oddly emotionless.

I crossed my arms and tried not to spit out my words. "Then what is it like?"

He rolled his eyes and continued his pacing for a moment before stopping and leaning back against the counter. His body faced my direction, but he avoided my gaze. "It's just. . . you know how it is."

My eyes narrowed. My lack of response was his cue to keep going. "It wouldn't work out."

"And why not?" I shot back. "Fall in love. Live happily ever after. End of story."

His eyes finally lifted up to mine. "See? That's just fucking it. This isn't a story. Our lives" he gestured around to the apartment "aren't some made up story. Things aren't that easy."

I shook my head, bemused. "All this time you felt this way and didn't tell me. All this time I knew how I felt and just let myself feel that way. Because I know that you can't help who you love. Because I knew that it was harder to fight what I felt. And you? No, you had to go and fight it. Fight it tooth and nail." I got up from the stool. "Unbelievable really."

He took a step toward me, his expression suddenly soft. "If things were different..."

I raised my hands up in desperation, forgetting to keep the pitch of my voice steady. "What things? What things? What are you so afraid of?"

His face hardened again. "You just don't get it do you? There are consequences for how I feel. For how you feel. For how we feel. God, I can't even imagine my parents-"

"Fuck your parents" I muttered. Now I was pacing. "That's what you're worried about? Your parents?" I scoffed. "Oh grow up for once. Don't you think they would be happy for you to have found somebody you love? Somebody who loves you?"

He sighed and started to leave the kitchen. "I'm not talking about this anymore."

I immediately went after him. "So that's it? You leave? You walk away from me? You walk away from true love and you can't give me one good reason why?"

He kept walking until his back disappeared through the front door. The click of the lock was the most deafening noise I have ever heard in my life. Luckily it overshadowed the sound of my heart shattering into pieces.