|I Love it When She Lies
Author: its.Nothing.Special PM
You shouldn't lie because it just might make him want to kiss you. Oneshot.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Words: 4,309 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 11 - Published: 04-14-09 - Status: Complete - id: 2660504
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
when she lies (a oneshot)
"Why do you keep staring at me?" I wanted to fix him with my best "that-means-stop-you-idiot" glare, but I couldn't be bothered to look up from the buttons on the keypad.
"Because I'm cool," Tyler responded easily. "Why do you suck at Tetris?" He grabbed the cell phone from my hands and prevented the Game Over screen from showing up too soon before handing it back to me.
"Because I'm cool?" I guessed—except it took me a while to reply because I was about to lose again and I needed to concentrate.
After a few minutes, I frowned, "Do it again." I tossed the old flip phone back to Tyler and with a few expert taps on this-or-that button, he brought down the height of the colorful, oddly-shaped blocks for a second time. He looked smug, though, like "ha ha you so need me you needy girl I knew it" so I decided not to let him play anymore. The free trial was about to expire, anyway. I should be playing.
The cacophonous Game Over screech startled him but he didn't stop looking at my face. In fact, he seemed to be trying to burn holes this time. "Why didn't you let me take over?" he asked petulantly.
Finally tossing the phone to the other side of the bed, I looked up, bored. "I forgot."
"Likely story," he said. Then he grabbed me by the waist and crushed his lips against mine. He made this really weird noise as he hauled me onto his lap and I made this really weird noise back. "Mmm," he murmured. "I love it when you do that."
I broke away, flushed, and he grinned, eyes dark. "For crying out loud!" I exclaimed. "Would you quit it already?"
"Huh? Oh, sorry, my bad," he smirked, pointedly dragging his eyes away from my lips.
"If you don't wanna help me write this thing, you can just—oh, I don't know, leave?" I rubbed my arms uncomfortably as I tried to glare.
Tyler rolled his eyes. "You were the one playing Tetris the whole time."
"Well, I couldn't find my pencil!" I said defensively as I slid out of his lap. And when I asked him to help me look for my pencil box, he said Nah, and went downstairs to find something to eat. Moron. "I was going to use the notepad on my phone to write all this down but, you know, Tetris is right next to the accessories icon, so—"
"You were gonna write a three-page speech on your old, keyboard-less cell phone?"
I crossed my arms indignantly. "Two-page speech. Your sister said two to three pages, you little over-achiever."
"I am not an over-achiever," he choked out, horrified at my even suggesting such a thing. "And couldn't you have just turned on your computer and opened up Microsoft Word or something?"
Oh. Well. Never thought of that. Uh . . . "My computer's broken," I managed to get out before his lips found mine again. I tried to pull back, but every time I did, he just leaned further into the kiss so I just gave up and threw my arms around his neck. He made that noise again as I climbed into his lap but I tried to remain super quiet. Suddenly his tongue was in my mouth and I made the stupid noise completely against my will. This time around, it ended up sounding something like his name—gross, much?! "Ah, shoot!" I exclaimed, pulling away breathlessly. "I lost!"
"What on earth are you talking about, Elise?" he whispered gruffly, trailing kisses down my neck.
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, nothing—it's just that I made that stupid—Tyler," I moaned, as he nipped at my collar bone and he stiffened. "Oh, not again!" I whined, crawling frantically and clumsily to the other side of the bed.
He stared at me in a mixture of frustration, amusement, and eww—I hope that's not what lust looks like.
"Stop touching me, you pink idiot!" I huffed, eyes widening in alarm as he began crawling closer. I once gave my brother this cute pink pen I found at the store and he told me that boys didn't like the color pink (silly me, I thought his generation would be beyond that already). Anyway, since little Timmy was so very insulted by the mention of that color, hopefully Tyler would feel that selfsame sting and never come near me again.
But all Tyler did was laugh. He did stop in the middle of my bed (I was glaring at him from my corner), though, so I guess I shouldn't complain. He grinned as he spoke, "Well, stop lying to me then. First you forget to let me save you in your stupid game of Tetris, and now your computer's broken?"
My cheeks burned as I fiddled with my hands and mumbled a pitiful excuse for an apology. Then I perked up. "So you'll stop kissing me if I stop lying?" I said hopefully.
Something flashed across his face. "Uh . . ."
"Deal! Now let's get that speech written, mister!" I ran over to my computer to turn it on but stopped when I found something sitting on my huge old monitor. "Hey! My pencils!"
. ; ; .
"The reason I love Maya—I mean, Lillian—is because Maya—I mean, Lillian—is just so spontaneous! One day we were in band practice, you know? And Mr. Welsh wasn't there! So Maya goes to the front of the class and is all like, 'Hi!' and then she tells everyone to stand up and everyone just starts looking at each other—ha ha!—and then she took this kitten home and it is so cute. Also, she makes good muffins!" Tyler glanced between the two pieces of paper dubiously (I'd written very largely). "WHAT THE HECK IS THIS, ELISE?" He was trying very hard not to laugh, I know it.
"My speech," I said as seriously as I could. But I am not a very good actor so the moment he started rolling his eyes, I started cracking up. "It's good, right? I tried so hard!" I managed to say before Tyler grabbed me by the neck and kissed me sweetly.
"Hey," I breathed indignantly. "That wasn't a lie; that was a joke! There's a difference!"
"Oh, whoops," he shrugged indifferently, rubbing his thumb across my cheek before pulling away. "Here, wanna read mine?" he shoved the piece of paper in my face before I could complain some more.
I read aloud, "This is why I love Lillian: she hates her real name! Her name is Maya, you see, but she hates it! She is ashamed of her roots! That is why I love her." I couldn't even get through the whole speech before I burst out laughing. "You're terrible," I shook my head at him. "That's your little sister, you jerk!"
Tyler shrugged. "Well, it's true." He was kidding, though. He loved his little sister more than anything in el mundo. Otherwise, he wouldn't be helping me write this speech for her Sweet Sixteen.
"Hey, how come you got an American name?" I asked curiously. Tyler's dad was from Argentina, see. And his mom was a California girl.
Tyler rolled his eyes. "My parents switched off every kid or something. Like, my older brother's name is Stefano, and then there's me, and then Maya, and then Brittany."
"So your dad named Stefano and Maya and your mom named you and Brit?" I clarified interestedly. I lived in a virtually cultureless home, so sue me.
. . . Well, that ended any particularly relevant conversation we were capable of holding. So I just started laughing again. "What if I just used the speech to talk about myself?"
Tyler grinned at the idea. "Hey everybody, I'm Elise. I'm seventeen and I'm in love with this guy, Tyler, who I like to lie to so that he kisses me senseless and—OW!"
Needless to say, I didn't exactly get my speech written—although Tyler did give me a lot of good ideas. He offered to help me again next weekend, but I politely declined and he shrugged before leaving. No way was he getting any more opportunities to kiss me, the little weirdo.
. ; ; .
"Honestly, I don't think you're freaking out enough," my best friend Haley admitted.
I switched the phone to my other ear as I typed my password in the little box, "How do you mean?"
"Well, Tyler just kissed you thrice today. Thrice! That means three times! Shouldn't you be really mad or at least really weirded out?"
"I am, a little bit," I defended, spinning around on my computer chair.
"Well, maybe you're not that mad because you—I don't know, like him," she ventured nervously.
"Duh," I replied, rolling my eyes.
There was silence on the other end and I tried to keep from snickering.
"YOU LIKE TYLER BAUK?!" Haley screamed and I peeled the phone away from my ear calmly.
"Well, yeah," I confessed. "I just realized a couple weeks ago."
"A COUPLE WEEKS AGO?" she, well, screamed. This was kind of fun.
"I know—weird, right?"
"No, not that weird." Haley seemed to have calmed down. Aw, darn. "He's gorgeous and he knows how to deal with you—really, anyone could have seen that coming."
"Well, nobody warned me," I exclaimed. "If I'd known I would've started liking him, I would have, like, moved to your house!"
"You would've moved down the street?" Haley asked dryly.
"Well, I was gonna say Timbuktu but it sounded so far," I admitted, clicking on my 1 unread message. Yay! Email! I'm popular!
"Ohhh," I murmured, and Haley stopped her muttering about how much of a loser I was.
"What?" she asked curiously.
"Details about My Sweet Sixteen!!!" I read the subject of the email perkily.
"Ohhh," she mimicked.
I quickly skimmed through the message and stopped abruptly. "I need a date?"
"Well, duh," Haley replied. "It's a sweet sixteen, what did you expect?"
I ignored her. "Why didn't she tell me earlier? Not everyone is so charming that they can find a date in less than a week!" I complained, rather appalled.
"Just ask Tyler to take you," Haley suggested, as if it were obvious.
"No way!" I yelled childishly.
"I thought you said you liked him!"
"So ask him?"
I sighed. Sweet, oblivious little Haley. "Just because I like him doesn't mean he likes me, you big dummy! Besides, I don't wanna inflate his ego anymore by asking him out," I grumbled.
"Oh, for crying out loud, Elise!" Haley cried. Out loud. "Of course he likes you. He kissed you thrice today. Thrice! That means—"
"Three times, I know," I finished, blushing. I cleared my throat. "Anyway, that doesn't have to mean anything. He just doesn't like it when I lie."
"So he punishes you by kissing you and making weird noises?" Haley laughed in disbelieving amusement.
"Hey! How on earth did you know about the weird noises?"
"Just a guess," she replied impishly. "Anyhow, if you really don't want to ask Tyler, just take Johnny, you moron."
Oh. Duh. "Wanna ask him for me?" I asked hopefully.
"Oh, whatever—JOHNNY! WILL YOU BE ELISE'S ESCORT TO THAT SWEET SIXTEEN SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT?" Haley yelled, probably down the banister. "He said, Of course." She paused. "Hey, that's not fair—you and my brother get to go, but I can't?"
"Oh, please, you big dummy. It says I can take a friend. Like I would even agree to go to this thing if I didn't have you by my side," I finished cheesily.
"Aw," Haley cooed. "Now tell me, just how weird were those noises?"
"Did he make that noise or you?" she continued cheekily, and I hung up with a huff. The 'noises' were the least of my problems. I wonder how long it would take Tyler to figure out I was avoiding him . . .
. ; ; .
"So, why are you avoiding me?" Tyler asked in his casual-hands-in-his-pockets kind of way as I put my textbooks in my locker.
"Who? Me?" I asked, closing the locker door much too loudly. "I am so not avoiding you."
Tyler pressed me against the lockers, raising an eyebrow.
I swallowed, not sure if I could take another of his kisses, seeing as I was still reeling from the ones from a few days ago. "I mean, yes, I am avoiding you."
"I noticed, sweetheart," he whispered fondly, placing a kiss on my jaw. Well, not fondly, per se—just, that's what it would look like to an outsider. Me, though, I was smarter than that. I knew I was being cruelly punished!
He pushed himself off of me and crossed his arms. "But I asked you why."
I stared into his stormy green-gray eyes and my throat turned all dusty. Ew.
"Well—hey, did you use up the rest of my free trial games on Tetris?" I accused, pointing my finger at him.
"What?" he said, looking away guiltily. "No way!"
Hey, that's not fair . . . I should figure out my own punishment for him. He can't get away with lying to me!
But no penalty kisses.
Definitely no kisses.
"You so did," I said determinedly. "That's what you were doing when you took like ten minutes to program your number in my phone. I can't believe I believed you when you said that Game Over noise happened because you accidentally put too many R's in your name!"
He started laughing. "Yeah, I can't believe you believed me, either."
That little—I punched his arm as hard as I could and he squeaked like a little girl. "Hey," he cried. "You didn't even answer my question!"
"Too dang bad!" I said, raising my fist again.
"Okay, okay," he put his arms up in surrender, looking way too amused for my tastes. "So, Elise . . . do you have an escort yet because—"
Tyler blinked at me, obviously not expecting that. Then his jaw tightened and his eyes darkened. "Really."
"Are you lying because I might just have to kiss you like you've never been kissed before and—"
I blushed hotly. "I'm not lying! Johnny's taking me!"
"Who on earth is Johnny?" he spat.
"Some guy," I answered as vaguely as I could because Tyler was being quite annoying. "Who are you taking?"
He blinked, scratching his neck. "Well, I—I'm not sure yet."
I furrowed my brows. "You're not? We've only got like a few days before—hey, you weren't planning on asking me, were you?" I asked, surprised.
"What? I—no way," he said incredulously. "Don't flatter yourself."
I blinked at him, a little hurt. "I was just asking." I walked away as the bell rang, pretending I didn't hear him call my name.
. ; ; .
"And then he looked at me like I was crazy for even suggesting that he was planning on asking me!" I pouted. "I told you he didn't like me."
Haley reached across the lunch table to pat my hand. "Oh, honey, I'm sure he was just trying to save face."
I sniffed, tucking some of my brown hair behind my ear. "Well if that's true, he certainly didn't have to be so mean about it!"
"I know, I know, all boys are insensitive and pink," Haley agreed consolingly.
"And?" I prompted, grinning.
"And they smell very, very bad and pink," she finished, patting my hand again.
"Yeah, seriously. Alright, time to eat!" I cheered, and we stood up to go to the lunch line.
Well, Haley stood up. I tried to, and fell back in my seat.
"Oops," a male voice muttered and I sighed in relief. Alright, random walls didn't just form out of nothing in order to cause me harm. At least that's one less worry off my plate.
Oh, but here's one more to add right back. The wall was Tyler Bauk. Dum dum dum!
"Excuse me," I said, getting up and trying to slide right past him.
Tyler grabbed my wrist before I could get too far. "Elise," he said, running his other hand through his lovely dark hair. "I didn't mean to, you know, be mean earlier. It's just that I—" he stopped, furrowing his brows.
"You what?" I yanked my hand back and crossed my arms, eyeing the lunch line that was getting longer and longer as if that interested me more.
He opened his mouth and I raised my eyebrows. "Forget it," he muttered in frustration.
Haley glared at him. "Well, if you aren't the pinkest male I've ever known, then I don't know what you are!"
I looked at her gratefully before turning back to Tyler. "Yeah! You are so pink it freaking blinds me!"
Tyler narrowed his eyes, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "What does that even mean?"
"They think that 'pink' is the insult above all insults when directed at any given male. But that would probably only be true if you were a four-year-old kid, so . . . yeah, they're just a little weird."
We all turned to look at the grinning blonde boy who offered Tyler his hand. "Hey, I'm Johnny." They'd never met because Johnny was in some super-smart program at our school and didn't share classes with Tyler, Haley, and me.
Tyler's eyes narrowed and he pretended not to notice the offered hand. "I'm Tyler," he said grudgingly.
Johnny looked amused. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Tyler, but I'm pretty sure these ladies are hungry, so—" our hero looked at Tyler pointedly. He was blocking the lunch line.
Tyler glared. "Well, aren't you a little gentleman?"
Johnny raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to reply but I jumped in, feeling a little uncomfortable. "Hey, Tyler, it's fine, okay? I was just overreacting earlier. Besides, I already have a date, so . . . we're good, honestly. I'll talk to you later?"
Tyler looked between Johnny and me silently with a frown on his face.
Then he swallowed, nodded, and walked away with his hands in his pockets. I bit my lip, feeling that there was something there I missed.
. ; ; .
"He was so jealous!" Haley laughed excitedly as she pulled the curler things out of my hair. "I have no idea why anyone would be jealous of my brother for a second—" she ignored Johnny's half-hearted protest from where he was sprawled across my bed, "—but it was adorable. I told you he liked you, Elise."
I pretended not to hear her and pulled out my phone to play a free trial game of PacMan.
"Actually, my sister's right," Johnny agreed. "Why else wouldn't he like me? Everyone likes me."
I ignored him, too, and stood up, twirling around in my midnight blue dress. I grinned and winked at myself in the mirror. "Shoot, I'm smokin'," I said, pulling at the black bow around my middle and waggling my eyebrows.
"No, me!" Haley bumped me out of the way with her hip, sending me sprawling to the ground dramatically.
She smiled cutely at herself in the mirror, fluffing out her blonde curls and smoothing down the baby blue dress that complimented her eyes perfectly.
Johnny just rolled his eyes at us. "Idiots."
"Please, you were staring at yourself for like an hour before we left," Haley said dryly and Johnny shrugged.
"So." They looked up at me. "Was he really that jealous?" I asked, cheeks flaming.
. ; ; .
I swallowed a couple times before opening my mouth to speak.
"Maya Lillian Bauk, you're beautiful," I said into the microphone and she smiled shyly, hiding behind a curtain of dark hair.
I grinned to myself. Lillian and I may have drifted apart over the years, but she hadn't changed much; she was still as shy and radiant as ever. Cutie pie.
"You're sixteen now—well, duh—and it's easy and it's wonderful to see that you've got your father's passion and your mother's patience. But it's like you've taken these things to a place that is truly and completely your own and . . ."
. ; ; .
When I finished speaking a few minutes later, I looked up to smile at the birthday girl again, and saw she was crying a little.
Yep, still a sentimental little princess.
"Thank you," Lillian mouthed and I gave her a thumbs up before stumbling behind the curtain.
"I thought we agreed that you were just going to tell jokes the whole time," Tyler grabbed my arm and spun me back around to face him. Jeez, give me a heart attack, why dontcha? I rolled my eyes and shushed him, covering his mouth with my hand as I listened to the speech going on the other side of the curtain:
"The reason I love Maya—I mean, Lillian— is because she's so funny! One time we were at cheer practice, you know? And Ms. Garfield wasn't there!—"
I looked at Tyler wide-eyed and covered my own mouth to contain the peals of laughter. He rolled his eyes and dragged me farther away from the curtain.
"They actually talk like that?" I said hilariously. "Oh, my gosh—"
"That's my date," Tyler said darkly.
My mouth dropped. "What I meant to say was, uh, she is just so eloquent and funny—"
Tyler's mouth covered mine and he wrapped a possessive arm around my waist. His lips slanted over my own over and over and over again and I positively melted. Suddenly my back was pressed against the wall and I was pressing into him and—what on earth were my hands doing in his hair?
"Elise," he murmured huskily as his lips found my neck. "Elise, Elise, Elise," he whispered and I swallowed thickly.
Would he quit saying my name like that? I mean, for Pete's sake—"Mmm, Tyler . . ." My eyes snapped open after I'd made the strange noise and I shivered at the dark intensity of his gaze as I tried to pull away.
"Elise," he breathed, placing a kiss on my jaw. "Do you like that Johnny guy? I mean, he said the two of you were just friends but—"
"No," I said, blushing, and he visibly relaxed, placing a kiss on my ear. "I don't like that Johnny guy. Do you like Eloquent and Funny Girl?"
"Who?" he said carelessly as he grabbed my hands and wrapped them back around his neck.
"Your date," I clarified dryly, feeling a little guilty now.
"Oh," Tyler laughed. "She's not my date. I don't have one."
"Oh," I said, feeling lighter. Then I punched him as hard as I could. "You dirty rotten liar."
Tyler smirked at me to cover up the wince. "See, I don't see how it's fair that when you lie, both of us get to enjoy your punishment—" he waggled his brows, "but when I lie, only you get the satisfaction."
I glared at him and responded archly, "Who says I like your punishment?"
He fumbled with his words, looking a little wounded. "What? I thought you said—"
I raised my eyebrows. "I don't like Johnny. Doesn't mean I like you. In fact, I think you're kind of gross. And you make weird noises. And you're pink."
Tyler stared at me with narrowed eyes and then kissed me sweeter than I'd ever been kissed. "You almost had me there, you little freak. So you do lie just to get me to kiss you senseless!"
I grinned cheekily at him and he smiled warmly. "My kind of girl," he said. "By the way, you look beautiful—" I cooed at him and he rolled his eyes, "and thanks for making Maya so happy. Even Mom thinks we should get married."
I looked away to hide my blush. "Wow, if I didn't think you were so ugly—"
Needless to say, I never get to finish my sentences anymore.
uh, you can stop scrolling, it's over.
author's note. HAHAHA I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS, EITHER
But hopefully you enjoyed this—this—whatever this is HAHA. ahem.
Inspired by my friend who told me last night that I had to write a speech for her party and by my brother who tried to help me. I wrote the first one about the spontaneity and kittens and muffins and he wrote the ashamed-of-her-roots one. Those speeches are probably somewhere downstairs on the floor or something.
I re-read for grammatical errors but not for plot ones, so . . . if you think this was weird and weirder, it probably was. but it was heckas fun to write. this is like the first oneshot where i've included characters besides the main two (besides pwned; but tammy was in there just barely) so that was pretty durn exciting yes yes
Also, sorry for going MIA on you guys, but I hardly have time to breathe anymore.
(That was only slightly overdramatic.) Have a happy spring break and God bless,