Is He Going To Jail For That?

(At dinner with my family)

Noah: I'm an aphrodisiac.

Liam: (after pulling off part of ticket) Opps.

Ashley: Dude, you need that to get in.

Jilli: Go see if you can still use it.

(Liam leaves)

Ashley: I think Mom's looking for us.

Andrew: Huh?

Ashley: (points to Ashley's Mom who is a meter in front of us) She's right there.

Jilli: (watches as Ashley's Mom looks around for us) Does she realize we're right in front of her?

(Liam comes back)

Jilli:(points to ticket) Hey, Liam, what's that say?

Liam: (reads) Do not detach.

Tyler: Ashley, this is Mrs. Mom.

Tyler: You may call her Mrs. Mom.

(at Hannah Montana: The Movie)

Jilli: (looks over to Liam) Is Liam crying?

Ashley: (whisperes) Hey! Are you crying?

Liam: When does it end!?

(after getting new glasses)

Mom: Be careful; you might be unstable.

Jilli: Got it.

(Jilli get's up then trips)

Jilli: I kinda fell...

Mom: No shit.

Kyler: So, Mr. Morris was like to me 'going to miss her?' and I was all like 'who?'.

Kyler: And he was like 'Lindsey; I saw the way you were looking at her'.

Kyler: And I said 'I know what I was looking at; what were you looking at?'.

Teacher: I saw you hugging Lindsey. Don't do it again.

Kyler: Okay.

Kaitlin: What? Is he going to go to jail for that?

Teacher: I've had enough of your backtalk. Go to the wall!

Kailitn: Want me to hold the door while I'm there?

Jilli: (picks off piece of dog hair from Ashley's coat)

Ashley: What're you doing?

Jilli: Picking dog hair off your coat. No, no; pubic dog hair.

Andrew: How'd you know it's pubic?

Jilli: (shrugs) All dog hair looks the same.

Ashley: (looks down at coat) Eww...

Jilli: (looks down at popcorn bowl)

Jilli: My popcorn seems to be ringing.

Tanner: I noticed something.

Jilli: What's that?

Tanner: Smurfet was a whore.

Connor: I'm not racist or anything, but two guys cuddling is a turn off.

Chase: Jesus! He's back!

Jilli: Who? Jesus? Where!?

Chase: (points to picture of Enimem) Skittles!

Carsh: Raping a minor is illegal.

Jilli: Rape in general's illegal.

Alex: Punctuation is poweful.

Jilli: How so?

Alex: An English teacher wrote this sentance on the board and told the students to punctuate it. 'A women without her man is nothing.

Alex: All the guys in the class wrote 'a women without her man, is nothing'.

Alex: All the chicks wrote 'a women: without her, man is nothing'.

Jilli: (laughs) That's funny.

Alex: I'm pro women.

Jilli: (stops laughing) You're wierd.

Catholic Priest: I'm here to spread the word of God.

Jilli: You sure it's his word you wanna spread?

Jilli: I'm going to get a tattoo and it's going to say 'Made in Canada' on the back of my neck.

Jilli: No, no; I'm going to get 'Made in China' just to confuse people.

Jilli: Whenever I hear the song 'Sex On Fire' by Kings of Leon, all I'm thinking is 'herpes...?'.

Alex: So, Halayna is pregnant again.

Jilli: (whispers to Noah) Wait for it...

Mom: Is it yours?

Jilli: Mom, Dad beat you to the punch. And they had the condom talk. Such exciting conversation for my birthday dinner.

Noah: There she -

Jilli: (horrifying screams) Ah! Ah! Ah!

Noah: Yeek!

Jilli: (crying)

Mom: What's wrong?

Jilli: Your effing iPod only has effing sad effing love songs on it!

Jilli: (crying)

Maddie: What's wrong with her?

Ashley: (slams pack of Skittles onto table) She hasn't had her Skittles yet!

Jilli: Ash, you look like a dead dancing chicken.

Maddie: (frightened) I don't want you to be a dead dancing chicken.

Random Guy #1: Can we have some cotton candy?

Tyler: No, it's for my friends, bud.

Random Guy #2: Come on.

Tyler: Nah.

(random guys leave)

Kaitlyn: Strip and maybe we'll give you some!

Jilli: Ashley was trying to protect against the Swine and she got a cold. I find it amusing.

Jilli: I'm going to marry Josh Ramsay's voice, divorce it, marry Bill Kaulitz's voice, divorce it, then marry Corey Taylor.

Tanner: His voice?

Jilli: Nah, just a general Corey Taylor.

Jilli: (watching old videos) It looks like were hitting each other with giant colored penises. And then Brittany's just got a random branch and she's beating the hell outta Kodi.

Jilli: I've got issues.

Tyler: Did you just figure this out?

Maddie: (walks into suite and sees Ashley on top of fridge)

Maddie: (runs to room)

Tanner: Come on, when was the last time we had sex?

Jilli: (confused) Never...?

Mykaela:(to Jilli) You're like the white version of me!

(Mykaela leaves)

Jilli: (shakes head) Crazy little black girl.

Andrew: I'm Tricia.

Mykaela: I'm Charlie.

Jilli: I be Mike. (points to Tyler) That's Tiffany.

Tyler: He's Deliahla. (points to Liam)

Ashley: And I'm Ashley. (points to Liam, Jilli, Tyler, Mykaela and Andrew) They're wierd.

(over text messages)

Ashley: I'm BOREDDDDD!!!!

Jilli: So, what can you do to excite yourself?

Jilli: Well, that came out wrong...

Jilli: One second; I'm getting changed.

Kyler: (suggestively) Oooh. Why are you getting changed?

Jilli: I don't know, Kyler. Why would one get changed?

Jilli: You're not fat, Nina. You're voluptuious.

Nina: Voluptuious is just a nicer way of saying fat.

Mykaela: I'm going to kill her until she apoligizes!

Jilli: Charlie, you can't kill someone until the apoligize.

(at movies)

Jilli: (whispers) Kyler, there's some people behind us mispronouncing your name.

A/N Ah-ha! I am back with a new installment of Say What?!. I would like to thank all the idiots who said these thing (especially Connor). I'd also like to point out that Connor deluded himself into thinking he was my boyfriend and told everybody that I was his girlfriend. Now he likes one of my bestfriends and he's telling her he never said any of that stuff. Well, boo-hoo for you! Nina believes me!

Luv's and hot-guys-at-my-sucky-job,

Jilli