He sat across the room with ‘the girl of his dreams’. It made me disgusted. Maybe because under all the hatred I was jealous. Maybe under all that I wanted him. It was true though I did want him. Before she even appeared, he had kissed me. He told me he loved me. He made me laugh and said I looked good in my sister’s cloths. He made me feel great about myself and then he stops it. He goes to his dads with me still on high hopes of still having him.

I wanted to stay with no matter what my sister said about him. She hated him to a level they hardly talked and she always insulted him but I looked past that, or I tried to. I didn’t want to be my sister. I wanted to be Dan’s friend. I wanted to make him happy. He crushed my heart when I told him I liked him. He said he had a girlfriend and then... I heard nothing. I heard nothing for a month. I hated texted him rang him trying to get his attention but.... there was nothing. Then he broke up with her and I thought I might have a slight chance and then she came along. She ruined it all.

She was polish, she was pretty, she was blonde, and she wasn’t like other girls. She certainly wasn’t a plastic, covered up in so much make up she looked like a doll. She wore make up but not much. She pissed me right off though and she complained about not having time to do her hair... get over your hair is great you dolt. She complained about her makeup.....puh-lease, you look great without it. You don’t need it. I didn’t actually think that and for a time I was happy for both and Dan, Malwina and myself.

Then, my hopes got high again and I thought they were fighting to much to get past it but.....that got shattered again and I soon realised that they actually loved each other but another factor that pissed me off was that she was younger than me. Sure, im 16 going on 17 but Malwina is about half a year young than me. I totally understand where her mother is coming from.

He is a dolt. She is a dolt and when she gets preggie at 19, I will laugh my head off to the end of the world.

To be honest I actually like Malwina. She is nice and takes an interest in me but me having to be the one about my history with her boyfriend crushed me. We talked about how Dan and I got close and then she hit me with a sledgehammer and that is when I let go.

‘I love him’ she said ‘he loves me. We are happy together and we are the happiest we have been forever” sure it was longer. Sure, there was more to it and sure, it made me cry tears. However, I knew they were tears of letting go. I knew it was my time to move and even though that might about a week ago, I felt hollow I feel free, light, and fluffy and not in love.

I feel good for once. I can look at other guys without feeling guilty and hey, there are many hot guys out there. Heck, I even got notice the other day. Sure, he was a Chav but it is just another step in my journey for the love of my life. And I can’t wait until I have moved totally on from my feelings towards Dan and have a guy to myself that I know I will love for the rest of, if not most of, my life and I know I will be happy and not once will Dan or Malwina will go through my brain. Not once will I have to put up with the love or chirpiness. Heck, when I get back from travelling, if I get to go, he won’t be the first I see. He wills more than likely will be the last ‘coz at de moment I ‘ardly ever think ‘bout ‘im ( yeah I had a moment) and that is about a week after my fiasco with his trophy girl friend.

Christ, it makes me sick. I hate them both to the core but I am also happy. This is like a long A/N you get in stories where I tell my reader my some of my life at the end of a chapter but no this is true. My life true and these are my real feelings. Expressed for the first time in print. I am happy to tell the world about my life because I know what it feels like to be torn into thousands of pieces over a single person.

Those who are in my past position, they aren’t worth it. Never will be....(sigh, cats never stop cleaning themselves. Even when im trying to sleep) Hey, many more fish in the sea. Moreover, I can’t wait to meet them. Yay!

Love ya’ll

Hi guys, short A/n. Note, ALL of the above it a true story. It is my story. Hope you like it. Thank. please review