This story contains some Dutch dialogue. Translations are at the bottom of the page.

---

“Nikolai, baby, come on. Wake up, Kolya.” Ronan nuzzles into my collar, pressing soft lips to my skin.

I let out a small groan when the light touch turns to a prying nip of his slightly crooked teeth. I swat at his hand slowly snaking its way up my thigh. “Noo!” I whine, my throat dry and my voice slightly raspy.

“Time to get up.”

I can hear the pout in his voice as I slowly open my eyes. Light is streaming through a crack in the curtains, casting a dull shadow over the bed frame.

My lover is laying over me, lips twitching as he suppresses a smile. “Good morning.” He is fully dressed; a blue and white, plaid, button-up shirt adorning his lithe frame. His dyed-blonde hair is already styled to perfection as if he just stepped out of a high budget anime. A bit of eyeliner surrounds his small, chocolate-brown eyes and I catch a whiff of peppermint on his breath as he leans down.

I turn my head just before his lips come in contact with mine, reaching blindly for the pack of menthols on the side table.

Ronan frowns slightly.

It’s not that I don’t want to kiss him. Quite the contrary; I would love to flip him over and nail him into the mattress, but you see…I hate having my baby see me at my worse and mornings are definitely not my strong point.

He produces a lighter from his back pocket as I open the pack, holding the flame for me.

I take a drag, the hazy morning feeling drifting away with the smoke.

“Do you want to take a shower?”

I let my head fall back against the pillow, halfway entranced by the way the smoke swirls with the ceiling fan – like a mini tornado.

“Why? Do I look gross?”

Ronan traces an indistinguishable shape across my bare chest. “No…” he says, ducking his head bashfully, “you look perfect.”

I let my eyes close, lips pursing into a grin I can’t contain. “What time is it?”

“Almost eight.”

“Shit.” The word comes out more as a hiss of breath rather than an exclamation.

Ronan lifts himself from the bed, the warmth immediately diminishing.

I sigh, tediously rolling over and swinging my legs off the bed. My hair is mussed in a complete bed-head style as I catch my reflection in the mirror, not near as bad as I figured I would look. I walk up behind Ronan and wrap my arms around his shoulders. He’s too short for me to even rest my chin on top of his head so I really have to bend down to brush his long hair away from the side of his neck and place a lingering kiss there.

A slender hand caresses my arm; Ronan leans back into me, twisting his head to receive the kiss I’m ready to give him. I guess the smell of cigarettes is better than morning breath. After all, he smokes too. He mumbles “I love you” against my lips.

---

“Got everything?”

Ronan slams the trunk of our car, nodding.

I smile. He has literally packed everything he owns, and most of what I do. Even though we’re only going on a three day vacation, he somehow got into the mindset that we’re moving away again. Ronan spent most of last night hopping up and down on suitcases trying to get them closed and the rest of the night hopping up and down on something else. “Let’s go then.” I slip my sunglasses down over my eyes, hardly looking forward to the six hour drive.

Tucson fucking Arizona. Of all the places we could have won a hotel stay at, it had to be in the middle of the desert. In the middle of spring.

Ronan slips into the Nissan with ease. Fuck, I admire him. Every movement he makes, every simple detail is done with elegance. All down to the way he speaks. So refined and mature; nothing like me. In all respects, he’s perfection – even if in my eyes only. Ronan grabs the iPod as soon as the engine purrs to life.

I can’t help but cringe in anticipation. You know, if I had to pick one flaw, it would be Ronan’s music taste. Crappy pseudo American pop-rock is constantly getting stuck in my head thanks to that boy. God knows I did not move to the US for their “music”. An exhalation of relief passes my lips as Sadie fills the silence instead. This, I can handle. “Thank you.”

Ronan raises his eyebrows and reclines his seat as far back as it can go, obviously with the intention of sleeping the entire trip. Lucky bastard.

---

The first two hours seem to fly by as the road mesmerizes me. White line after white line cutting the highway into two perfect segments. Sage brush on the right, even more on the left. Every once in a while, a cargo truck appears and I have to resist making the motion for them to honk. Not that I’ve outgrown this childish practice but Ronan fell asleep fifteen minutes after we hit the freeway and I’m not mean enough to jolt him out of his angelic state with the sharp blast of a horn.

However, there is less than a quarter tank of gas left, my ass is beginning to hurt, and my arms are cramping up so I veer off at a remote exit. Yuma County Gay Rights appears on a small blue sign. I feel my eyebrow unintentionally rise in confusion.

“Guess this is where they send all the Arizonan fags, huh?”

I look to the passenger seat to find my boyfriend staring at me with a smile too big for his face; it’s contagious.

“What a coincidence I picked this exit.” A Chevron station is off to the right hand side.

“Maybe the exit picked you.”

I roll my eyes, pulling up beside a gas pump. “‘And next time on The Queer Twilight Zone…’”

“Oh, ha-ha,” he responds dryly.

I kiss him quickly, pulling on the car handle and getting out before Ronan can respond. I see him touch his lips through the tint of the car window. The machine takes my card with a mechanic whirr. Forty-six dollars later the gas tank is full and Ronan surprises me with a kiss this time.

He giggles, tangling long fingers in my hair and pushing my head forward. “Mmm,” he sighs, licking at my bottom lip. “Hungry.”

“What would you like, princess?”

Ronan takes a look around, not bothering to remove his hand from my hair. “There’s a Subway over there.”

I crane my neck to look in the direction he’s staring. “Okay.”

“Or…” he says in a singsong voice, drawing my earlobe between his lips and whispering the rest, “I could probably get full on you.”

“Oh, tempting, tempting.” I place a hand flat on his chest and gently push him back. “But I kind of want Subway.”

Ronan scoffs, crossing his arms.

Snickering slightly, I cross the parking lot right in front of the restaurant.

He gets out of the car and shuts the door roughly, faking hurt, and walks to the small diner.

Locking the car, I sprint towards him to grab his arm just before he goes inside. I back him slowly against the wall, placing my hands on his hips. “I’d like to be able to return the favor.”

He melts immediately, dropping the act and chewing on his bottom lip.

“Want a ride?” That sparkle in his eyes that always makes my stomach flutter lights up. I crouch down enough so he can hop on my back.

“I love being tall!” he declares.

I guess going from five foot four to six foot two would excite any boy who failed during puberty, but at least he has the luxury of fitting through normal sized doorways.

The teenager behind the counter looks up as we walk through the glass double doors. She fixes us with a smile that doesn’t look halfway forced, surprisingly. “What can I get for you?”

Ronan points at the sign, covering his mouth to keep from laughing.

Five dollar foot long.

Sometimes he’s a little immature.

“Can you sing the song for us?” I ask.

The girl, (Laurie according to her nametag), blushes a little. “Song?”

Ronan rests his head on my shoulder.

“You know, the one on the commercial?”

“Oh, Nikolai, don’t make her do that.”

Laurie turns even redder as I lift my sunglasses to rest on the top of my hair. “Why? Is that inappropriate?” I lick at the corner of my lip.

Ronan flicks me on the cheek, holding around my neck with one arm. “Niko, stop flirting! I’m not going to have sex with you if you act like that!”

The girl looks like she might faint as I hoist Ronan further up on my back; he was slipping. “Fine, fine. Can I get an oven roasted chicken sub and…what do you like, baby? Ham?”

“Yeah. No onions though, and no of those umm, pepper things. I don’t remember what they’re called. No of the white stuff either, no mayo.”

Laurie nods. “Would you like your bread toasted?” she squeaks.

Ronan and I exchange a laugh.

“Sure,” he responds kindly.

“Are you…German?” Laurie asks meekly, looking like she desperately hopes she’s correct.

“Do I look German?” I ask in a light tone.

She shrugs. “Your accent, it kind of sounds like it.”

“No, sweetheart, we’re from Antwerp.”

She continues making our sandwiches.

“That’s in Belgium,” Ronan clarifies.

“Ah, I’ve never even been outside of Arizona.”

I vaguely wonder why we’re starting conversation with this girl; it looks as if it’s just causing her stress. “Ew, I’m sorry.”

“Where are you heading?” she asks, trying too hard to keep her voice steady.

“A giant shithole.” Ronan kicks me, and grimacing, I change my answer. “Tucson.”

Laurie looks up, confused. “Sorry, where?”

“Tuck-san,” I enunciate.

Laurie puckers her lips, amused. “It’s pronounced two-san.”

“Oh shit, really? Tucson, Arizona? No wonder everyone’s been laughing at me.”

Ronan begins to laugh as well.

“Shut up! You didn’t know either! Fucking America, nothing is spelled like it sounds.”

Laurie smiles as she hands us a bag. Finally.

“I bet Jacumba wasn’t pronounced juh-come-bah either!” I mutter, handing her a few dollars.

“You-come-bah,” she elucidates.

“Dat is stom!” I say, beginning to walk away.

“Jij bent dom!” Ronan counters.

“Don’t call me stupid! You’re stupid!”

Laurie laughs in the background as I drop Ronan to his feet before walking outside.

---

Four uneventful hours later, I pull into the hotel parking lot. “Verdomme, I am so sore!” I complain, stretching out my arms. I yawn, not even bothering to hide it. Driving six hours took everything I had.

“You look exhausted, Kolya.”

“Well, I didn’t have the luxury of sleeping the whole way here.”

Ronan fixes me with his super Asian glare, eyes almost squinted closed.

“I’m kidding, Roni. We wouldn’t have made it here alive had you drove.” He looks a little annoyed but doesn’t resist as I cup his face in my hands and press our lips together. “You’re so fucking cute.” We sit in silence for a few moments except for the wet sounds of our mouths sliding plianty against each other’s.

“Okay, okay,” he pulls back panting, “it’s starting to get hot.”

I trace a line down his neck. “Yupp. We’re parked in the sun.”

“Oh, I knew that wasn’t you,” Ronan says with a grin.

I place a hand dramatically over my heart. “Ouch.” I follow my boyfriend out of the car as he crawls across me. “Was that necessary?”

He winks. Apparently it was. Ronan takes my hand as we walk up the stairs to the hotel plaza, all our luggage still contained in the trunk. The doors slide open automatically and a cool gust of air hits us with relief.

“Bedankt God!” The inside of the hotel is magnificent, almost sparkling. The epitome of a five star hotel. I could stand and stare at the décor for hours if it weren’t for Ronan’s strong grip pulling me towards the check-in counter.

“Welcome to The Westin La Palome,” a man probably in his late twenties greets us as we walk forward. His tousled, brown hair shapes his round, boyish face which makes him look younger than he really is. He has kind, baby-blue eyes and although shorter than I am, looks as if he spends a lot of time at the hotel gym. “Checking in?”

“Yes.” Ronan lets go of my hand (which the man hasn’t seemed to notice) to rummage through his hand bag. Or purse. I always think it’s a purse but I get yelled at for calling it that. “I have our uh…reservation information, ah!” He pulls out a sheet of paper from his manbag with a triumphant look, “Right here!” Ronan hands it to the check-in guy, flashing him a smile.

Wh…what? He didn’t just touch that guy’s hand, did he? No.

The man types away at his computer as my head decidedly cocks to the side. “Alright, I have you in room 562. Oh, I see you’re in a one bed suite. Would you like me to request a rollaway?”

“No, that’s corr…”

“Yes, please,” Ronan interrupts.

Huh? “Wat is hier gaande?” I whisper.

Ronan nudges me with his foot.

“Roni?”

“Wees stil,” he hisses back, maintaining a smile.

I keep my jaw from dropping, jealousy beginning to kick in. The floor suddenly becomes very interesting.

“Okay, you’re all checked in. I’ll call up a bellboy to help you with your luggage and show you to your room.”

“Thank you so much,” Ronan says, exaggerating his accent. He swings his hips as he walks towards the front door, lifting his purse up further on his shoulder.

The man has a smile on his face as I glance back. Fixing him with a glare, I follow Ronan outside to wait for the bellhop. “Ronan!” I call out.

He ignores me until the double doors close behind us.

“Are you going to explain to me what the fuck was that?”

“April fools, bitch!” Ronan throws his arms around my neck, standing on tiptoe just to reach. “I got you, I got you! You should have seen your face! Oh my god, you got so-o-o jealous!”

Shit. That’s a relief. I won’t have to beat up some douche-bag Abercrombie & Fitch model who puts too much gel in his hair and spends too much time working on his guns and not enough on his abs…today. “Klootzak! That was fucked up!”

“Aww, you love me!” he croons, pinching my cheek.

I lower my hands down his back to squeeze at his ass. “You’re going to pay for that.”

Ronan squeaks and wriggles out of my grip to run towards the bellhop stand.

“Hey, wait!” I yell after him. “It’s April third!”

---

“So where are you guys from?” the bellhop asks as he unloads our bags from the car and places them in the back of the golf cart.

“San Diego,” Ronan answers, semi-annoyed as he taps his foot and studies his nails.

“Oh, no. I’m from San Diego. You’re from somewhere in Europe,” the middle-aged, half-balding bellboy says good naturedly.

Ronan lets out a sigh, pushing his hair back from his face.

“Belgium,” I say, helping the guy unload the mountain of suitcases. My fingers brush something soft buried in the trunk. I pull out a black, stuffed bear, shaking my head as a smirk passes my lips.

Ronan catches the plushie as I toss it through the air. “Oh, Asuka! Did I leave you in the trunk? Oh, baby, I’m sorry!” He snuggles his cheek against the soft fur of the bear, hugging it tight. “Poor thing. Je moet bijna dood geweest zijn! Dat was een lange rit, niet?”

The bellboy looks to Ronan and then back to me. I shrug. “Nineteen years old and still talks to a stuffed animal,” I whisper to the guy. “What did you say your name was?” I ask more audibly.

“Scott.”

I extend my hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Niko and this is Roni.”

“No, no, shh. We’ll go up to the room now. Get you some fresh air. It’ll be okay.”

“Very nice to meet you,” Scott says, trying to avoid staring at the bond between Ronan and his pet bear.

“How long have you been working here?”

“Almost four years.”

I nod, shutting the trunk as the last of the bags weigh the golf cart down. “Cool.”

Ronan sits down in the back seat of the three-bench cart, drawing his legs up onto the seat and leaving no room.

I pat him on the head as I take the bench in the front.

“Shit, not the hair!”

Scott talks endlessly about the hotel as he drives the curvy pathway to our room but I can’t seem to not tune him out.

I turn around in the bench and reach for Ronan’s hand not enclosed tightly around the plushie he received on his seventeenth birthday, pressing kisses to his fingertips. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about having a boyfriend, it’s that if they’ve never had a girlfriend, they take on the roll. You know, including the mood swings…minus the bleeding. “Be happy, zeurkous. We’re on vacation.”

Ronan rolls his eyes, smacking me with the teddy bear.

“Ack! Why did you even bring that thing?”

“What? Asuka? Because you gave her to me.”

My heart melts at the sincere look on his face.

“Plus, she wanted to see Arizona.”

“Hey guys, look. A bobcat!” Scott stops the golf cart and points to the center of the trail.

“Kitty!” Ronan exclaims.

A male bobcat scampers out of the way and into the brush.

“Ain’t he beautiful? He’s used to people so we see him out on the trail all the time.”

“Does he fetch?”

Scott laughs but he obviously doesn’t catch that Ronan is serious.

“He’s a cat, Roni.”

“Your cat fetches.”

I begin to retort but…he has a point. Caspar does fetch sometimes, and try to bark if I take his food.

“Here’s your room,” Scott points out as he pulls up in front of a door marked 562.

We step out of the cart and Ronan dashes quickly inside, leaving me and the bellhop to unload all our luggage. I slip him a twenty once we’re done and wave him off. “Thanks for helping out, princess!” I yell into the room, dropping one of Ronan’s bags on the bed. “Where are you?”

“Bathroom!” His head peeks out of the doorway.

I push the door open and look around. A spacious shower is in the corner with a hot tub opposite the room; a double sink with a wide mirror in the center. “Nice.”

“We may have to put this tub to use.” Ronan’s fingers brush over the faucet, a teasing look on his face.

“For sure, for sure. Listen, I’m gonna make dinner reservations for that place on the brochure. I think there’s a dress code so…”

“So, what? Are you saying I don’t look good enough?”

I try not to let my annoyance show. He’s such a girl. “Would I say that? No…you need to pick out what I’m going to wear. Or maybe, I’ll just go naked.”

Ronan looks as if he’s contemplating. “We might get a free meal.”

“I…,” turn around and walk out of the bathroom. The number to the restaurant is conveniently located next to the phone.

“Hello. Janos French cuisine located in The Westin La Palome Hotel and Resort. This is Amy, how may I help you?”

“Hi, I’d like to make a reservation for seven-thirty, uh, please.”

“Of course, sir. What name would you like to place your reservation under?”

A quail lands on the balcony outside the window, ruffling its feathers.

Ooh, quail. I could hunt that shit and not have to spend a week’s paycheck on some stupid French food.

“Sir?”

But then Roni won’t have sex with me. “Nikolai Maykov.”

“Thank you. See you at seven-thirty.”

“Thanks.” I hang up the phone, staring at the pretty bird on the rail. “Roni! There’s a quail on the balcony!”

A blonde mass of hair once again appears from the bathroom door. Ronan holds one strand and runs a flat iron across it. Not even five minutes in the hotel and already fixing his hair. “A bird?”

“Well, yeah.”

“You want me to see a bird?”

“…no. That was just an excuse to get your ass out here so I can play with it before dinner.”

“Oh…” Silence. “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

---

I pull at the cuff of my tuxedo jacket. This shit is uncomfortable.

“Stop daarmee!” Ronan scolds. He fixes my sleeve, running one hand through my hair and smoothing it down. “You look so handsome.”

“I feel stupid.”

“Shut up. You look hot.”

I look down. At least he let me keep my converse. “You think?”

“Always.” He unscrews the cap off what looks like lipstick.

“No, no, no. That’s where I draw the line. You already put your stupid makeup on my face. I am not wearing lipstick.”

Ronan pushes me back roughly onto the bed. “Oh, suck it up. It was a little foundation. And this isn’t lip gloss, it’s chapstick. You know, to make your lips soft. You need it.”

I touch my lips. What the fuck? Feels soft to me. “I do?”

“Mhmm, open.”

Ten minutes later, I’m holding Ronan’s hand as we walk towards the restaurant. He’s made up to look like some porcelain doll. Not a scary one; one of those really pretty ones the Japanese housewives pay big money to acquire. No…not like that. I mean, he’s worth the money, but he’s not for sale.

“Do you have a reservation?”

During my mindfuck of a revelation, we ended up in front of the hostess podium. “Yes, Nikolai Maykov for seven-thirty.”

“Ah, yes. Mr. Maykov, right this way.” The pretty, young blonde leads us to a nice table. Almost as nice as her rack. An elegant red tablecloth is draped over the candlelit surface and mahogany chairs are set around it. “Will this do?”

“Yes, this is fine. Thank you.” Ronan dismisses the hostess with a fake smile.

Drawing my eyes away from her retreating ass, I remember to pull the chair out for my date. Got to remember to be a good boyfriend or I’ll be in the hospital soon with blue balls.

“God, heb je die haar borsten gezien?”

“Ja! I mean…yeah.” I stumble over my words as Ronan gives me a disapproving glare. “They were awful, horrible.”

“They were fake.”

“They were?”

Ronan taps his wine glass edgily.

“Oh, yeah. Definitely fake,” I agree.

He rests his head on one hand, staring at me like he can see into the very depths of my soul.

“What? Yours are much nicer.” I contain a sigh of relief as he finally smiles. “I love you?”

“Uh huh…oh, thank you.”

A man dressed like a very expensive penguin reaches over to fill our glasses with water.

What is this? No ice? I’m paying out the ass for room temperature water? “Excuse me, there’s no ice…”

“Nikolai, mm-mm.”

I shut my mouth immediately as the penguin waddles away.

“They didn’t put any ice in the water…” I can hear how pathetic I sound but I expect full service.

Ronan puts his hand over mine. “Just stop talking.”

“Okay.”

---

“I’m so full.”

“I would hope so for a hundred and ninety dollars,” I mutter, unbuttoning my jacket and slinging it over the back of the hotel chair.

“What, Kolya?”

“I said, have you seen my swimsuit?”

Ronan looks at me like he knows that’s not what I said. “You’re not supposed to swim for a half hour after eating.”

I shed my shirt, picking up the remote and turning on an episode of Scrubs. “I think that’s only for girls; I don’t get cramps. Besides – I wanna try out that waterslide. The brochure said it’s fifteen feet or something.”

He stands in front of the mirror, loosening his tie. “It’s almost ten.”

“But…waterslide.”

Ronan fixes me with a look I can’t exactly read. Even though I get this same look at least once a week, for as far back as I can remember, it means something different every time. Some days it’s, “Nikolai, you are the dumbest son of a bitch I have ever met in my life,” and sometimes it’s “you have a little something on your face, right there. You should get that.” Every once in a while, on that rare occasion, it’s “you’re being really cute right now. Take your pants off.”

“What?”

“Well…I was kind of thinking, you know,” he slowly unzips the zipper on his fly.

Oh, crap. I’m torn. Waterslide or sex? I know this should be an obvious decision but...we haven’t had sex in like three days. Whatever, the pool will be there tomorrow. “You were, were you?”

He nods, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth.

I walk towards him, smiling as I lean down for a kiss. "I guess the waterslide can wait," I tease.

He hits me on the shoulder lightly, chuckling into the kiss. "You're lucky I love you, ya know that?"

“I know.” I kiss him lightly. He’s right about that chapstick – his lips are so soft. “You never let me forget it.” I pull on his freshly loosened tie, tightening it back around his neck. “You look sexy in that.”

“Mm, and you look sexy in me, so get to it.”

“Day-um, boy, slow down! Is there no time for romance anymore? I just took you out for dinner I’m going to have to work double overtime just to afford.” I run a hand across his shoulder, loving the way the silky, expensive material feels under my fingers. The buttons give way easily as I pop them open, one by one, revealing more and more of Ronan’s creamy, pale skin.

“How’s the view from up there? You like what you see?” He takes control of the last button, letting the fabric slip over his pasty white shoulders and fall to the floor.

I stare at the heap of rumbled fabric on the carpet. My fingers twitch.

“Niko?”

“Umm...heh…” I pull at his tie, bringing him up on tiptoe to suck at his neck. “You should keep this on, you’re so hot.”

Ronan lets out a short gasp as I mark his skin, his own fingers working away at my zipper. “Damn!” He pulls away, not capable of getting them undone without looking. “Take them off!” he whines, pushing his own, tight jeans down. Some dumb designer label, no doubt – rich Asian bastard. He leaves the clothing on a pile on the floor, practically tackling me backwards onto the bed. He attacks me with kisses, lips trailing quickly from my collarbone down my chest.

“Roni…Ronan.” Fuck! Now is just the best time for my OCD to kick in. “Roni!”

“What?” he snaps, lifting his head to look at me.

“Your…your clothes.”

He looks to the ground. “So?”

“You left them on the floor.”

“Niko! You can’t be serious!” Ronan’s eyes dart back and forth, a disapproving frown on his lips.

“They’re gonna wrinkle!”

“Oh my god, Nikolai! Who cares?”

I gently push Ronan off me, bending down to pick up the discarded clothing. I can feel my boyfriend’s disbelieving stare on the back of my neck, and although I know I’m fucking up greatly, that stupid pile of clothes would bug me the entire time. I fold his shirt and jeans nicely and place them in a little stack on top of one of the many suitcases. Exhaling, I lie back down next to Ronan and drape an arm around his waist. “So, where were we?”

Ronan shrugs my arm away. “No. You know what, no. I’m not in the mood anymore.”

“What?”

“Your fucking stupid obsessive compulsive…thing! You always do this!”

“I can’t help it! That would have annoyed the shit out of me!”

“Yeah, well, I just don’t feel like it anymore.” He rolls over onto his side, putting distance between us.

“You’re fucking kidding me! April fucking fools, right? Right?”

Ronan doesn’t respond.

“Jesus!” I stand up, severely pissed off. It’s not my fault he left his clothes on the floor, knowing full well that would irritate me. “I can’t believe you!”

“Well, I can’t believe you!” he yells back, sitting up roughly. “I offer you sex and all you can think about is having to iron my clothing later! You’re pathetic.”

My brain shuts down as I stare at Ronan in shock. Pathetic. “Whatever,” I turn around and walk out the hotel door, slamming it as hard as I can behind me.

I don’t have my key.

Shit.

That was immature.

And now I’m locked outside.

I stop myself mid-knock on the hotel door. I’m not that desperate…yet. Hell, I can just get another key from the front desk when I’m ready to come back; when Ronan has calmed down a little. When I’ve calmed down a little. At least I’m still wearing my pants.

I quickly zip up my fly, thanking god I noticed that before I end up somewhere in public. The hotel front desk is my first destination, if I can remember the right trail that leads there. It’s supposed to curve to the right, walk straight up some steps, to the left…but what about that bobcat? I run a hand through my hair even though it’s not like we were at it long enough to fuck it up. Crossing my arms across my chest, I begin the walk down the trail.

The pool looks awfully appealing. There doesn’t seem to be anyone down there and I make a mental note to venture down and check it out after getting a spare key. The hotel lobby isn’t as far away as it seemed in the golf cart. The automatic doors open as I step on the mat, the cool air not nearly as inviting as it was in the daylight.

Mr. Abercrombie & Fitch is still poached behind the counter. What the hell is he doing still working? His shift must have started right as we checked in. Swearing, I take a step back, debating just sucking up my pride and getting Ronan to open the door. Nope. I strut forward, maintaining eye contact with the obviously flamboyant employee, hoping if I can just channel my inner gay, this will all work out.

Only one problem. I’m not gay.

A real shocker, huh? Considering I have a boyfriend and all, everyone likes to make the assumption that I’m flaming. I’m not. I’m not even bisexual. Yeah, yeah, “Explain that one, Nikolai.” Ronan just happens to be a wonderful exception in my life. My best friend since we were two; I like to think of him as a woman with a slight birth defect. That might not actually be the best way to describe it. I don't know why I love him, but I do. And it doesn’t matter that he's not a woman, because he's amazing the way he is.

The man behind the desk looks me up and down, and I suddenly feel very naked; insecure. I wrap my arms around myself in a self-hug.

He smiles at me. “Can I help you?”

“I uh…um…verdomme.” I can’t get my head straight.

“Boyfriend kick you out?”

I nod slowly, trying not to look at the man. “I need a key.”

“Sure. What room were you in again?”

“Five-sixty-two.”

He types rapidly on the keyboard and I make eye contact with the portrait of a fruit bowl hanging just above his head. “One second. It’s registering.”

“Kay…” I really wish I had a shirt. I am not your eye candy!

He hands me a card a few seconds later, but the fact that he won’t stop staring at my chest makes it seem like a few minutes have passed. “Thank you.”

“No problem. Can I help you out with anything else tonight?”

“Uh, no…there’s a waterslide with my name on it. Gonna go check that out.” I begin to walk away.

“Mr. Maykov?”

Balls. That’s my name. “Yeah?”

“The waterslide isn’t permitted for guest use without an attendant. The lifeguard got off duty a half hour ago.”

“Shit! You’re kidding!” I throw my head back in frustration. “Tonight is not my night.”

“Well, my shift ends in ten minutes. I could put in some overtime at the pool.”

I grit my teeth. Walked straight into that one. I search for an excuse and when nothing suitable comes to mind, “Yeah, okay. Thanks”

“Great. Just give me a few minutes to wrap up here.”

“Alright…I’m just going to sit, uh,” I look around the lobby and find a nice armchair in the corner, “over there. Sit over there.” I can feel his eyes on my back like a fucking vulture as I walk towards the coffee table. A hotel attendant wouldn’t rape a guest, right?

I stare at the grain of the coffee table, my mind wandering. Why the hell did Ronan have to be so emotional? He could have just not been a bitch and I could be having sex right now. But no, he had to start a fight; he always has to start a fight. And on our vacation! Especially after I dished out half a week’s paycheck on some fancy French cuisine. I know I’m not perfect. I have some dumb disorders, but having known me for seventeen years, he should be able to put up with them. Sometimes I think he likes fighting with me more than he likes fucking me.

“Ready?”

“Huh? Oh…” I look up to find the check-in guy staring down at me. “Yeah.”

“We can take the golf cart if you want.”

I lift myself to my feet. “Sounds good.”

He leads me outside to a golf cart parked conveniently right in front of the lobby. “I’m Levi by the way.”

How perfect. “Nikolai.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Right, my name’s in the computer.” I roll my eyes although it can’t be seen in the dark.

“Yupp.” Levi pulls a ring of keys out of his pocket, finding the one to the golf cart. “You can sit in front if you want.”

You’d like that. I take the seat next to him, regardless.

“So, what happened?”

“With?” I hold on to the handle on the side of the cart as it starts to move.

There’s a slight smirk on his lips. “Your boyfriend. Is there a reason you’re out in the middle of the night, half naked?”

“Just felt like taking a stroll.”

Levi chuckles. “Come on, what happened?”

“I have OCD and it doesn’t contribute much to my sex life.” I look to the side of the trail as he looks at me.

“What’d you do?”

God, way to pry into my personal life. Americans are so blunt. “I got annoyed that he was making a mess so I stopped him. He got really pissed.” I mentally slap myself as my own words digest in my mind. “I mean…he left his clothes on the floor. We didn’t get that far.” I grimace. Didn’t mean to say that either.

“That’s harsh, dude.”

“Mhmm.” I focus on keeping my mouth shut the rest of the way to the pool, not that I care if I make an idiot out of myself in front of this guy.

He pulls up to the pool gate, parking the cart and getting out to hold the entrance open.

What? You think you’re earning brownie points? Sorry, I’m lactose intolerant. I walk through the gate, barely sparing a passing glance.

Levi smiles. No doubt thinking “Playing hard to get, huh?” The bastard. “Towels are over there,” he gestures to a gazebo. “The waterslide is in the main pool although that one might be a little cold. We don’t heat it at night. And um, the swim up bar is in this pool over here,” he says, beginning to walk to a decent sized body of water with a volleyball net cutting it neatly in half. “If you want anything, let me know.”

“Awesome. Just open my tab.” I’m on vacation, I can drink myself into a coma if I want to.

“Sure, what can I get you to start off with?”

I bend down to dip a hand in the water, testing the temperature. It’s heated comfortably. “Heineken.” I watch Levi as he lets the tap flow, foam collecting at the drain. He pulls a glass down from the cabinet, expertly filling it and sliding it across the bar directly into my hands.

“Not gonna card me?”

“Nah,” he says with a slight shrug.

I take a sip. This is what a vacation should be. A pool and a beer…and Ronan, but we can’t always get what we want. “Your mistake. I’m only twenty.”

“It’s a good thing I gave you non-alcoholic beer then.”

I sputter, spitting the beverage back into the glass.

“Just kidding.”

I grab a stool by the bar, pouring the top layer of the beer down the drain. “Can I swim drunk?”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

“Lucky me,” I say, tone not nearly as sarcastic as I meant it to be. I don’t plan on getting anywhere near drunk. I down the beer in a few gulps, sliding the glass back across the bar.

“Another?”

“Later.” I look off to the waterslide. I’ll be damned if I don’t at least get to try it. It was my first choice anyways – Ronan will be there tomorrow. I get to my feet and maneuver around the first two pools to the biggest one. The ladder to the top is almost three times my height and my sudden fear of heights suddenly decides to materialize. “Actually, I’ll take another drink first.”

Levi laughs as he fills another glass and brings it over by the slide. “Scared?”

“No.”

“Then do it,” he whispers.

I will at my own pace, fuck you. I slam back half the beer, not feeling anything. Maybe this is non-alcoholic. I put the glass down on the ground by the ladder. “Fine.” I kick off my shoes and quickly push down my pants, hanging them over the back of a pool chair. I’m not usually self-conscious but having someone stare me down like a piece of meat is kind of nerve racking. Let him stare. I’ll show him what he can’t have.

I start climbing up the ladder, half happy I decided to wear briefs today so he can’t stare up a pair of boxers and half not as they clearly put on display, you know, basically what I have to offer. I get to the top, looking down stupidly. My hands cling to the poles. Bad idea, Niko. Very stupid idea. The wind shakes the top of the slide and goose bumps erupt down my arms.

“You okay?”

“Never better,” I mumble. I look over the side, the way down looking less and less appealing than it did from the ground.

“Just jump, it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be!”

How does he know what I’m thinking? Am I that conventional? I wish Ronan was here, he’s not afraid of heights. He’d hold me and we’d go down together. I sigh, sitting down at the edge of the slide. Holding my breath, I push off the edge. The smooth plastic feels cold on my skin as the slide twists and turns and just moments later, I’m plunging feet first into the freezing water.

“Fuck!” I can feel my balls retract into my body like some damn Koro syndrome horror movie shit. “Cold, cold, cold!” I swim quickly over to the edge, getting out of the freezing water and grabbing a towel. I wrap it around my waist, grabbing my beer from the ground and rushing over to the hot tub.

Levi is laughing at me.

“Shut up!” I yell, jumping into the hot tub. The water is hot as hell, almost scalding after being submerged in a nearly freezing temperature. “Oh, fuck, oh, shit.” This can’t be good for my health. I knock back what’s left of the Heineken. Stupid pool is hardly relaxing.

Levi brings me another beer of a darker, richer color. “On the house.”

“Really…why?”

“That was quite a show you put on.”

I take the glass from his hands, “Bite me.” The beer turns out to be a Trappist ale, a beer brewed by Belgian monks. I know it well. “What the hell? Where did you get this?”

“Imported special, straight from the Netherlands.”

“Ah, Brouwerij de Koningshoeven. I’ve been there.”

“Um…yeah.”

“It’s the only Trappist brewery in the Netherlands. The rest are in Belgium.”

He stares, bemused. “I’m impressed.” He bends down to shake my hand.

“I’m Belgian. Nice to meet you.”

Levi smiles. “Would you mind if I joined you?”

“This isn’t a monarchy, I’m not king of the hot tub.”

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” He wanders away into the pool house, out of view. Hopefully he’ll stay there the rest of the night, or until I’m out of alcohol. I have no desire to see him in swimming trunks.

Finally getting used to the water, I lay flat on my back, floating just above the water level. The chlorine will probably turn my hair green, but a pleasant buzz is now flowing through my veins and I could care less at this point. A small splash stalls my heart and I turn my head to see Levi sitting on the edge of the hot tub, dressed only in a black pair of board shorts. I look back up to the stars – the view up there is nicer. The water laps against the side in little waves as he sits down on the bench in the small pool.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Not really. “I guess.” I sit up on the bench, resting my back against the wall. The overhead lights reflect off the water making it hard to see below the surface. A gasp passes my lips as I feel a hand on my knee. What the fuck? I look up to see Levi inching closer.

“Nice night, huh?”

“Um…,” I scoot over a few inches, out of his reach.

He moves with me, cornering me into the deep end of the hot tub.

A random Hedwig line pops into my head. “I was alone, I had nothing in my hands…I was gonna go for the eyes…” He better not fucking hug me. “What are you doing?”

Levi steps back. “Oh, heh, I don’t know.”

Now would be the right time to get the hell back to my hotel room.

“Can I get you another drink?”

I shake my head, my wet hair falling down around my shoulders. Stop attracting gay men! Think ugly! “No, thank you. I’ve had enough.”

“Well, you should drink that up before it goes flat.”

He obviously knows nothing about beer – something of this quality isn’t just going to go “flat” from two minutes of sitting by a hot tub. He wants me intoxicated.

“Look, Levi. You’re a nice guy and all but…”

“But?” He’s moving closer again. His face is so close. Ew! His lips are against mine, he’s holding me against the edge of the pool.

My mind blanks except for the words don’t gag spiraling through my brain. Boy germs! As my head begins to clear, I push him off me with two hands flat against his chest. “What the hell!”

“What?”

“Uh-uh. No, not gonna happen. I can’t cheat on Ronan.”

He moves in again, running one finger up my arm. “It was just a kiss. And he kicked you out, right?”

I flinch away. “No, I walked out.” I get up and out of the pool. “Kind of like I’m going to do right now. Enjoy the view of my ass! It’s the last you’ll see!” I gather up my clothing and re-wrap a towel around my waist, running as fast as I dare without slipping and cracking my head open on the cement. I ignore Levi calling my name in the background, running up the trail. Stupid bastard thinks he can kiss me. I’m going to have to scrub the inside of my mouth for hours.

Nearing the hotel room, I rummage through my now mussed up pair of pants, locating the room key. The fact that I’ll have to iron them barely crosses my mind, although it’s still there. I shove the card in the door, opening it slowly, quietly.

All the lights are off. I tiptoe into the bathroom, shutting the door before letting light flood the room. Stripping down, I towel dry my hair, quickly running the fabric over the rest of my body to mop up any excess hot tub water. I don’t feel like taking a shower right now.

I grab my toothbrush roughly from a cup by the sink and let it run under some warm water. The toothpaste cap comes off easily and I cover the entire brush with peppermint paste, sticking it in my mouth. After screwing the cap back on, I wash my hands – once, twice and then proceed to scrub my gums raw. He kissed me. How am I going to kiss Ronan? He’s going to taste that bastard on me, he’s going to know. I brush my teeth for a solid ten minutes, spitting into the sink and washing it down with tap water.

After washing my face and dousing myself in cologne, I tiptoe out into the main room. Ronan is burrowed underneath the covers, breathing softly – asleep. The rollaway bed doesn’t look half bad. I look it over…I’d rather sleep in the big bed. I grab a pair of boxers out of my open suitcase and drag them over my hips.

Being as quiet as I can, I lift up the covers and crawl under. I inch up to spoon against Ronan’s backside, one arm around his chest. I place a few kisses on his neck, lying completely still when he begins to stir.

“Baby?”

“Hi,” I whisper back.

He turns around in my arms to face me. “Hi.”

I pull him closer so I can kiss his forehead. I feel guilty.

“You were gone a long time.” He wraps his arms around my neck, nuzzling our noses together.

“I take it you’re not mad at me anymore?”

Ronan pushes up against me, intertwining our legs. “I wouldn’t go that far.” He leans his forehead against mine, resting his hand on my cheek. “I love you.”

I feel really guilty. “I love you, too,” I whisper so low, I’m not sure he hears me. I kiss at his cheek, the corner of his mouth, running the palms of my hands smooth down his back.

He runs his fingers through my hair, grazing my scalp. “Your hair’s all wet. Did you go swimming?”

Nodding, I lean in to suck his bottom lip between my teeth. I feel his tongue dart out to lick at my lips and I open my mouth, inviting him in.

Almost immediately, Ronan pushes his tongue into my mouth. He obviously knows he’s going to take the upper hand here and to prove it, he pushes me onto my back and crawls on top of me. He straddles my waist, having to lean down just to resume the kiss. Our tongues meet again; his sweeping the inside of my mouth. He breathes in deep, rocking down awkwardly to press his half-hard crotch into my stomach. Ronan moves his mouth down to pepper wet kisses along my jaw line.

“Someone’s worked up,” I mumble into a mouthful of his hair.

“I was already hard when you left,” he replies, drawing the skin on my neck taut between his lips.

Hissing, I run my hands down his ribs to rest on his hips, wishing he would scoot back just a little bit further.

Obliging, but moving back too far to sit on my legs, he lies down and rests his cheek against my chest. “You used my cologne.”

“I bought it.”

“It’s still mine.” His tongue trails slowly down my chest, moist lips taking their time at my nipples.

“Right, because everything I have, I give to you.”

Ronan moves down further, his tongue dipping into my navel. “Yupp.”

My toes curl into the bed sheets, a shiver running down my spine as he hooks his thumbs into my boxers.

“Lift up.” He drags the fabric slowly down my legs, folding them neatly as they come off and placing them on the bedside table. “Happy?”

“Very.” I tug a strand of his hair, pulling him down in my arms to exchange kisses.

It seems Ronan has other plans. He breaks apart, teeth flashing brilliantly in a moonlit smile before my eyes roll up to stare at the ceiling – warm, wet suction enveloping my steadily hardening length.

I raise my hands to grip the pillow underneath my head. “Roni…”

He hums happily, fingers stroking and twisting to match in time with the bobbing of his head. Ronan’s tongue is wet and slippery against the tip of my erection and his teeth drag softly along my length, sending a jolt down my spine.

My hips lift involuntarily as he begins to suck harder. A soft, confused sound slips out as Ronan releases me with a plop. “Huh?”

He runs his nails across my inner thigh, taking one of my hands and pulling me up. He wraps his arms around my neck, looking into my eyes as he shoves our crotches together. Ronan lets out a low, breathy moan. One of his legs slides along the bed to press between my thighs. Our lips meet.

My tongue slides into his mouth as I try to kiss away the guilt. That asshole check-in boy kissed me, not the other way around. It’s not my fault I’m so irresistible.

Ronan begins panting and rolling his hips up, squeezing my hips with his thighs. He whines a little as I reach down between us, giving his cock one sharp tug. “Wait, no. You’re gonna make me come.” He backs away, hopping off the bed and beginning to rummage through one of his hand bags. Ronan tosses a small tube in my direction and it lands next to me on the bed. Lucky he thought to bring it because lube never even crossed my mind.

He flicks on a table lamp and crawls back over the bed, placing both hands at the base of my neck and kissing me wetly. “I’m ready,” he whispers.

Nodding, I lay him down gently. I place my head in the crook of his neck, tracing the contours of his ear with my tongue. Distracting him, I reach for the lubricant left on the sheets. I coat my fingers and just a few moments later, Ronan is shuddering beneath me as I stroke slippery fingers in circles over his opening.

His mouth opens and a moan drifts through the silence as I slowly push one finger into his tight heat. I twist my finger, pulling it in and out, relishing in the way Ronan’s whole body trembles. I add an extra finger and twist right against that spot inside him making him cry out.

My crotch is getting decidedly tight as I add one more finger, feeling the ring of muscle pushing down against me. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out. Simply finger fucking Ronan’s ass is driving me insane. I pull my hand away, wiping it on the bed sheets. I try not to think about how that’s going to need washing.

I pat him gently on the arm. “Roll over.”

Ronan lets out an excited sound, wriggling onto his stomach. He stretches out, his skin pale against the dark sheets.

I stroke the back of my fingers down Ronan’s spine. He looks beautiful sprawled out before me.

“Come on, Kolya,” Ronan tosses his head, looking backwards over his shoulder. He lifts his hips slightly in invitation.

“Condom?”

He shakes his head. “No, you don’t need it.”

I smile down at him, grabbing the lube up once again. I slick a handful of it down my straining dick, having to bite my lip to keep from groaning. Deciding having to pull Ronan on to his knees and back against me is too much work, I slump down on top of him on the bed.

Ronan immediately arches, pushing his legs apart just enough to let me fall between them. His legs bend and he grips the end of the mattress above his head as I slip into him. He groans with each exhalation as I press him down, trapping his body. I quickly pick up the pace – I’ve spent too much time thinking about this.

He turns his head to kiss me gently, but sloppily as my hips jerk down against him. “Oh…oh god,” he moans, turning his face back down into the mattress.

“Okay?” I gasp out, fingers digging into his hips as I ram into him again and again.

Ronan nods, his hair all over his face. He tries to lift himself up to shove back against me but before he can, he’s jerking hard. He’s crying out and shuddering in an undulating arch beneath me, coming hard against the mattress.

The sporadic force against my cock makes me groan as I whisper endearments into Ronan’s ear, feeling him slump limply against the sheets. I shift my angle, pulling back just enough to shove into him hard a few times before I’m shuddering as well, gripping his ass tight and pressing him down.

“Shit!” I sprawl out on top of him, feeling his heart beat through his chest in time with mine.

We lie together for a few moments, enjoying the silence until: “Niko, you’re heavy.”

Sighing, I roll off him, resting a hand on his lower back instead. His skin is hot and a little sweaty underneath my palm.

He yawns, squirming around a little to be able to give me a peck on the cheek. “So sleepy.” He crawls up to the headboard, drawing a pillow underneath him and letting his eyes fall closed. There’s a faint smile on his lips and I know he’ll soon be fast asleep.

I stand up, stretching lazily and looking Ronan over. He always looks so amazing after sex. I’d love to get him into the bathtub and lick him clean, but I guess it would be the right thing to do to let him sleep. I pull the covers up over his arms, kissing him lightly on the ear.

Picking up my pack of cigarettes off the table and pulling on my boxers, I step outside onto the balcony to light up.

---

Translations:
Dat is stom - That's dumb
Jij bent dom - You're dumb
Verdomme - Goddamn it
Bedankt God - Thank you, God
Wat is hier gaande - What the fuck (lit. what is happening here)
Wees stil - Be quiet
Klootzak - Bastard
Je moet bijna dood geweest zijn - You must have been dying
Dat was een lange rit, niet - That was a long car ride, wasn't it
Zeurkous - A naggy person
Stop daarmee - Stop that
God, heb je die haar borsten gezien - God, did you see her boobs
Ja - Yeah
Brouwerij de Koningshoeven - Trappist brewery