One day on the beach
I looked out to the ocean-
Mysterious and dangerous,
Turbulent and beautiful.
It was painful in a way,
As I beheld such majesty on Earth.

I tossed and turned a thousand times
Inside my heart and mind,
As each wave crashed recklessly on the sand,
Each beating like a pulse;
Soothing, comforting, continuous.

As I heard the cries of the birds, the wind, the water,
And voices of the people walking by,
I let my mind roam free for a moment in time
So that I did not know the pain, the sorrow
And the unbearable loneliness
Of the prison that had become my life.

I looked out to the horizon as far as my eye could reach
And made up the rest inside my mind,
A place beyond the sea rich in promise, destiny, hope
And love in immeasurable bounds,
Given freely and without risk.
Unconditional, and true.

At the height of my euphoria,
And through the peace of self discovery,
Without warning I heard a whisper in my ear…
It came as a thought and then built in intensity
Until the voice of reason came crashing thorough,
Shattering my window of thought.

It launched me tumbling through time and space.
Reaching hopelessly toward the epiphany
That was rapidly retreating from my mind,
I was rendered powerless to stop it.
I had no voice to cry out,
In my mind, I was alone.

That was the moment that I had all and lost all,
And it still weighs heavy on my heart.
For the world that I had imagined,
That I had existed in for a fleeting second,
Is unobtainable in this life…
And the disappointment is almost more than I can bear sometimes.