Calm Before The Storm

No one knew it was coming. No one saw it. I could feel my heart race with anticipation. I wasn’t sure how people would react. Would they scream? Would they try to stop me? How would they react when I was dead? What would they say?

Would they even care?

No. No one cared for me. I was just another stressed out student trying to pass the class. But they never saw that. To them, I was calm and collected. I knew what I was going to do with my life- I had a plan. Lies. I told them all lies. It was all just a pretense that I put on.

Tomorrow my misery would end. Tomorrow people would see who I really was. Tomorrow I would show them how I felt. My lips twitched into a smile. The first really smile I had in years. All because of my plan.

I thought of how I’d do it. Should I wait until the end of the day? Or hit them in the morning? What would be more effective?

Morning, right after the announcements. That’s when it would happen. I couldn’t wait for tomorrow. My parents wouldn’t expect it. I didn’t think that they would care. They never paid attention to me. I was just a burden to them. A money strain, a failure, a freak, etc. I could go on for ages. But one thing was for sure; they wouldn’t care.

*-*-*

Today was the day. I was going to do it. People would have to pay for what they deserve.

I walked into the classroom, sat down at my desk. I could feel its weight in the pocket of my sweat-shirt. More students piled into my classroom and took a look around them. No one noticed me, of course. I reached into my sweat-shirt and could feel its cold metal on my finger tips calling to me.

The announcements came on and then off in a matter of seconds. I took a breath. This was it. I was going to do it. The teacher was sitting in the back getting her stuff ready. I stood up and walked into the front of the class. A few students looked at me in questioning.

Everyone was silent when I stood in front of the class. I smiled again, pulled it out of my pocket and pressed it against my head.

Several people gasped.

“Screw all of you.” My final words. I went to pull the trigger-

“You don’t have to do it!” I stopped. She was the only one standing. “You don’t have to do it… this isn’t your only option.”

I stared at her in awe, the hand holding the gun was shaking. I wasn’t expecting anyone to stop me.

“Please. Think about what you’re about to do… is it worth it?” She started to come closer. I didn’t move, I was frozen in place. I had thought about it, that was why I was going to go through with it. I pushed away all those guilty feelings, and left myself numb. Why was she tearing down the walls and opening up my wounds again?

“I know what happened… you’re not alone. Please, don’t do this!” She was even closer now, within arm’s reach. “I know what it feels like.”

Tears started to trickle down my cheek. I lowered the gun a little. “You don’t know what it’s like.” I said softly. She placed her hand on the gun and tightened her grip on it.

“I do. We all do. Remember, you’re not alone.” Her eyes locked with mine, and paralyzed my body. Next thing I knew the gun was out of my hand and a pair of strong arms was holding me back.

“Serenity…” I said softly. She shushed me and placed her hands onto my shoulders.

“Fury, without you… I cannot survive.” She said quietly. “We balance each other.”

I nodded and fell to my knees. The strong arms let me fall. I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t strong enough.

I was still a failure.

“You are not alone.” Serenity spoke softly, again, and then walked away leaving me to my guilt. The strong arms lifted me up and carried me out of the classroom, away from my misery.

I didn’t do it, all because someone cared for me.