Why her?
Am I crazy?
Blind?
Jealous?
She’s-
generic.
Brown eyes-
Brown hair-
Blasé features.
Medium build-
She watches TV
and goes to the beach
she smiles and laughs
like any other girl.
She types;
she blogs
She writes;
she draws.
She jokes;
You laugh.
She grins;
You blush.
But… generic.
Automated!
I can’t bear to look.
I see automatons
walking in the streets
with you and me-
Shining metal:
Gears turning,
gaskets, valves.
Are you crazy?
Blind?
Every once and while,
In the sea of metal,
There is a being of
Caliber
Merit.
Flesh walking amidst the clinking
Clanking
Calculating
Processing.
Dearest,
In your warm palm,
Her hand…
It’s metal.
It’s lifeless!
You- can’t hear her?
Grinding, data chirping?
Isn’t she- cold to the touch?
Look at me, please!
Look at me, touch me-
My blood is pulsing, frantic!
Is generic what you’re after?
Can the mechanized keep you captivated?
See me, hear me!
Singing, stumbling,
Learning, growing,
LIVING!
Oh, is human so wrong?
I see you,
how you stand out.
You’re so warm-
I-
You’re so intriguing,
Different-
I…
Oh! Why?
Why her?
She's the girl next door,
the girl two rows away in class,
any face in the crowd-
She's...
a goddess,
I suspect.
Whatever she is,
elevated by you-
she's- so very lucky
to have, to hold
your attention, your warmth.
It drives me out of my mind
crazy
jealous.
I...
long for you.
To notice me.
To glance my way with fondness.
For a chance.
For you to grab my hand-
to hug just a little bit longer...
to give in to what might seem to be
reckless abandon
as I have done.
I told myself
I am loved by others.
He loves another.
Others, another.
But no,
it's you.
You.
You...
You- so quiet,
soft; your speech
and mannerisms:
so soft.
Everything you say is
ambrosia to me.
I'm sinking, drowning in daydreams
of not a you or a me, but an us.
A we- a we who accept and understand.
Who discuss and hold
who adventure and expound.
Is is so farfetched?
I...
Your hand is inches from mine.
Fingertips dancing anxiously-
These lips thirst to trace your jaw-
slowly shaping to your contour.
Blood pounding in my face.
Do you know that I'm alive?
Oh! For you...
For you, my days melt away.
Classes, my fruitless work...
I'm dizzy with these oppressive thoughts!
They are a prison and freedom all at once.
You are elation- my hope; a dream...
Potential to be...
I don't want this to fade,
but I'm dying to be released.
Until I look at you again.
My beautiful captor!
This is sickening.
My mind is racing
and you're
unaware?
Or cruel.
Or perhaps kind...
Mmm...
I keep myself in check.
I smile politely
and create idle chatter.
The weather,
a show,
a book,
something generic.
Never: why her?
Never: why not me?