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Strangely enough, one of my favorite things about him is his hands.

They’re perfect. Soft, but not girly. Warm, but not sweaty. And just the right size, fitting with mine like a jigsaw piece.

“Rose?” His voice snapped me out of my blissful musings.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing.”

I raised an eyebrow. He gave in. “Well, I thought I’d lost you there for a second… you haven’t talked for at least ten minutes. I’m pretty sure that’s a record.” He stuck his tongue out playfully and gave my hand a squeeze.

“I was just thinking, silly!” I beamed goofily at him, swinging our arms back and forth.

Strolling through the through the forest of blossoming cherry trees made it seem more like something out of my wildest daydreams rather than a safe second date at the park. Well, save for the passersby giving us strange looks when we laughed at nothing. Like now.

I watched, mesmerized as one of the falling petals was caught by the breeze and sent in a spiral straight towards me. I walked into it, and it landed delicately on my nose.

“Ahh!” I squeaked, startled even through I really shouldn’t have been.

“What?” Mark stopped, alarmed.

“Uh, a petal landed on my nose.” I blushed at my overreaction. He chuckled. God, I loved how deep and velvety his laugh sounded.

“You’re so cute.”

He kissed my nose, and came back with the petal stuck to his lips. He began sputtering. I couldn’t help but giggle.

I love how our relationship is so full of laughter. It’s just like I always imagined.

“Hey, Mark! There’s a hammock over on that tree,” I urged, tugging him towards it. That was one opportunity I didn’t want to miss.

“Perfect.” He voiced my thoughts aloud.

We walked over to it and sat down, our weight causing it to sway. I put my head down on Mark’s chest, and he hugged me closer.

It seemed too good to be true.

As usual, I seemed to be a little too perceptive in matters like this. It was too good to be true.

He pulled my head up gently to face him, and my heart was beating frantically like a drum. Those big hazel eyes, that adorably perfect blonde hair… in a moment our lips had touched.

This was only my second kiss ever. Since mark was my first real boyfriend, it was still nerve wracking.

It seemed easy to me now though, despite my inexperience. Our lips molded to each other’s like it had always meant to be that way. So natural.

My eyes fluttered open for a moment, and I vaguely saw out of the corner of my eye the path that we had just strayed off of. There were people bustling in both directions, enjoying the beauty.

Then I saw that one lone figure standing still amid the movement. Staring at us.

Why him? Why here?

I quickly shut my eyes, feeling angry tears spring forth uninvited. Throwing myself into the kiss with more vigor, I peeked to see if he had left.

Damn.

I felt Mark smile approvingly at my aggression. I drowned myself in him, willing out all other thoughts.

You’re just perfect Damian.

I snapped my head back. What had I just thought? Had I just imagined that I was kissing him? I inwardly slapped myself in disgust. The things that boy does to me… when he’s not even trying. It’s cruel and unusual punishment.

“Babe. You okay?” Mark quipped. I hadn’t realized it, but I must have been staring a bit too much at the unwanted visitor. He turned around and his eyes narrowed.

“Oh.”

Even though we were a good fifty feet from the road and there were tons of pedestrians, he was unmistakable. Incredibly tall, with a mop of curly chocolate brown hair. He wasn’t exactly built, but he wasn’t stick skinny either.

Blue eyes met brown. It was like a padlock had snapped, I couldn’t look away.

“Do you want me to tell him to leave…?” Mark looked at me seriously.

“Well, up until now, I thought he didn’t even care about me.” I said, desperately trying to mask the sadness in my voice. Suddenly, a thought struck me.

Well, he always played dirty. Let’s see how he likes a taste of his own medicine.

“Why don’t we show him how over him I am. Get him off our backs.” I smirked. Mark’s eyebrows flew up and grinned just as impishly back.

“That sounds like a great plan.”

“We have to make it really believable.” I waggled my eyebrows.

And without further ado he began to kiss me again. Slowly, softly, beautifully. He was always so gentle with me.

I have to admit, this was crazy. Sensory overload for little miss neverbeenkisseduntillastweek.

I chanced a glance at the road.

Damian had gone.

“WHAT THE HELL?! GET THE GODDAMN BALL!” I yelled furiously, joining other calls of the same sort by my peers. It was the last varsity soccer game of the year, and things were starting to heat up.

“Calm down, Rosie, it’s just a game.” My best friend Ashley chastised.

“But, I want us to win. Mark’s been training for this so hard!” I replied vehemently, my eyes never leaving the field. Or, more specifically, my boyfriend… he just looked so amazing with that competitive fire in his eyes, what can I say? It got me pumped up. Plus, it was a pretty windy day. I loved windy days. They were so refreshing.

Well, except for the fact that my long auburn hair was being blown all around me, and I was probably starting to look like a crazy wolverine. The yelling didn’t help.

“Uh oh. Here comes trouble.” I heard Ashley mutter.

My head snapped to her. “What?”

“Uhhhh, um. Watch the game!” Flustered, she turned me back towards the game, but I saw it. Her gray eyes were tracking someone.

“No, what is it?” I persisted. Then my gaze fell to the foot of the bleachers, and I saw the boys JV team filing in.

Oh.

“What, you think I care? I don’t.” I said stubbornly, averting my eyes.

“I think you care, Rosie.” Ashley sighed. “I think you care more than anything, but you’re trying to bury it for your boyfriend’s sake. It’s not healthy!”

“I can do whatever I want. This is the best way.”

“You need to talk to him. Sooner or later.”

“No!” I snapped loudly. People were looking back around at us.

“Sorry. But it’s true.” Ashley said timidly. I sighed.

“I know. You’re right.”

Speak of the devil, and he shall come.

“Rose! Hey.” He grinned, walking up the steps and standing next to me.

“Hey.” I forced out a smile.

“Listen, I think we need to talk.” He looked around me at Ashley. “Mind if I steal her for a sec?”

I gave her a death glare. She ignored it.

“Oh, no! Not at all.” The last thing I saw was her mouthing it’s for your own good. Before me and Damian were walking down the stairs. I fell into step with his stride, so much longer than mine. It was just like before, why was I so easily falling back into old patterns?

No… I’m finishing this now. No more reminiscing.

We walked over behind the bleachers. Abandoned, dark, quiet… it was a recipe for disaster.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going out with Mark?” He ventured. My, he certainly gets to the point quickly.

“Because I figured you wouldn’t care. It’s not that important.” I shrugged.

“We’re friends, Rose. Course I care.” He smiled.

That smile… I couldn’t block it anymore. Fragmented memories began rushing back like a flood breaking through a dam.

“ROSIEEE!” He yelled, playfully grabbing me around the waist and swinging me around.

“Hey! Cut it out!” I protested shrilly. He put me down and ruffled my hair.

“You have the prettiest hair, you know that? It like, swishes.”

“Damian. All hair ‘swishes’.” I said seriously.

“Well, whatever. Yours is swishiest.”

“Awww, was that a compliment?”

“Sure as hell was! No way to ignore your swishy hair.” He took a strand and tickled my nose with it.

I giggled. Damian was just getting cuter day by day. Wait. Cuter?

Did I like Damian? He was just another one of the popular boys.

But he seemed so different than the rest of them…

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

“So. How far have you gone with a guy?”

I blushed furiously. “Damian! We’re NOT talking about this in class!”

“It’s free time. All these nerds are busy talking about Naruto or some shit. Nothing else to do!”

Good thing he doesn’t know I actually know what those “nerds” are talking about…

“Alright. Fine. Promise you won’t laugh?”

“No promises.”

I should’ve expected that. Oh well.

“I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“What!?” He said, eyebrows shooting up. His eyes looked even bigger and bluer and more beautiful than before when he was surprised, if that was even possible. Oh boy, I need to stop gushing.

“Well. You know, if you need someone for your first…” Damian licked his lips suggestively. “Or, what the hell, make it a striptease and I’ll take you to at least third base!”

“DAMIAN!” My face was so red, the hue was probably off the color spectrum.

“Chill, Rose. I was just kidding. You know that.” He grinned that adorable lopsided smile.

He’s always kidding about that stuff. I wish he’d be serious.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I finally had gotten up the courage. Damn, this was hard.

“Hey Rose! You wanted to meet me?”

“Damian!” His name felt so right on my tongue. “Well, uh, you see…”

“Are you asking me to tolo?” He asked cockily.

“Actually, I was.” I breathed out. The adrenaline was too much. I was officially going to die if I didn’t get my answer.

“Well. I was actually already going with Elisa. She asked, plus she’s really hot. So, you know. Win win!”

“Oh. Kay.”

I had to get out of here. I’m an idiot. Falling for one of the biggest players in the school? Not to mention I’m not particularly hot or popular. Why would I think I had a chance?

“Rose? We cool?”

“Yeah.”

I ran.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It’s been two weeks since the incident. I can’t escape.

“Hey! What up girl.” He clapped me on the back in the hallway.

“Not much.”

Yeah, not much. Except for the fact that you’re still leading me on, even after my best friend just heard you gushing about some new girl that you’re smitten with in the last class.

“Well, I’m thinking you should go to my next soccer game. I know you loved all the football ones earlier this year. You and your friend were always the only ones in the crowd for JV!”

“I doubt I can make it, but I’ll try!” I beamed at him. God, why can’t I shake old habits? I promised myself I’d be mean. I just can’t.

“Great!” He beamed right back.

Why can’t he just stop?

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

“So, do you want to go out with me sometime?” Mark asked cautiously.

“Like a date?”

“Yeah.” He was fidgeting. Mark? Fidgeting? He must actually be serious!

“I’d love to! Oh my god, Mark, this is great.”

I could already feel my broken heart mending. That damn boy is in the past. Never again.

“Are you crying? Rosie?” Damian grabbed my shoulders. “Look at me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Why am I crying? YOU, that’s why! You’re the reason I cried myself to sleep because I was an idiot, and you’re the reason I can’t fully enjoy my new relationship. Damian, I was falling in love with you and you didn’t even care one iota about me! I was just some little game!”

“Is that what you think?” He replied stonily.

“Yeah, it is. Why are you even here? Why do you still flirt with me? Sometimes I wish I could just rewind time. Back before we were friends. Start the year over and never meet you.”

I bit my lip. That might have been going too far. Then I looked up and stabbed myself mentally after seeing his expression. Yep, too far.

“Rosie. I… like you. A lot. And I’m glad we met in that class, the one neither of us had friends in. I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything. Not even the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, wait, she’s right in front of me!”

That little speech certainly didn’t stop my tears. They just ran faster.

“Well, I hate to break this to you Damian, but you’re too late. Me and Mark are together now and he’s amazing. We’ve known each other for a while, he’s sweet, and he’s a mature guy.” It was hard to choke the words out. But it was the way things needed to be. “If you care so much about me, how come you didn’t try to tell me earlier?”

“I guess I let our different social standings get in the way, if you want to know the truth.” He admitted shamefacedly, looking at the ground

“Mark is extremely popular. Just because we’re in different crowds, he didn’t let that get in the way. He’s not an arrogant bastard like some guys I know.”

“Rose, I know you’re mad. I get that. I’m really sorry.” He pulled me close. This was all I had ever wanted for so long, my body ached to relax into his embrace.

“This is wrong. We’re wrong. You knew it and I was too blind to see it before.” I whispered.

“No. This time, I’m fixing my mistake.” He pulled back lightly and looked at me with those bright blue eyes. I could never believe the intensity of his eye contact, and being subject to it’s full power I was powerless to react.

“Stop. Please.” I squeaked.

He bent his head and his lips grazed across mine. “This is what you want.” My breath hitched at his warm words against my mouth.

NO!

And then I was kissing him back. It was instinctual, I couldn’t fight it. His kisses were so different than what I was used to. Rougher. Faster.

I need to stop. This needs to stop.

I tried to push away, but his hands grabbed mine. Those hands… they were so big, they drowned mine in his grasp.

That was one of the weird things always made me feel so safe around Mark. He had perfect hands. Safe hands.

These hands were too big, too strong. Perfect only for breaking a heart.

I tried to cry out, but that only served as an open invitation to invite his tongue in.

Finally, he pulled back. My cheeks were moist with tears and sweat.

“You need to decide what you want, Rosie. Get back to me. Please,” he said, more serious than I had ever seen him. He kissed my forehead, shoved his hands in his pockets and sauntered off.

I followed numbly, returning to my spot by Ashley in the bleachers and watching him join his huge group of guys.

“How’d it go?” Ashley said eagerly, her face falling when she saw my current state.

“I am a horrible person.” I spat bitterly.

“Okay. We’re definitely going home.”

It was a normal day at school. Yesterday was still etched solidly into my mind, but I walked down the hallway hand in hand with Mark as if nothing was wrong.

Ashley and I decided that if no one ever heard about the incident, it would be like it never happened. And so it was.

I knew this moment was coming. I saw Damian walking down the hallway in front of us. No doubt Mark was glaring at him as we passed each other.

He gave me a look with those eyes. And I knew exactly what he was trying to say.

I hope you’re happy.

I looked right back.

I’m sorry.

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Xonelel: whew! I really enjoyed writing this :D

This is only loosely based on a life experience. I really love all the characters, so I MAY continue this. Maybe. If you review and say so, that could affect my final decision ;)