I looked down at your pale, slight form lying beneath me, your head pillowed on my hands. This would be our last night together as I knew it; the night of your twentieth birthday. Tomorrow you would wake and it would be as if the last twenty years had never happened, your mind wiped clean of all the things it held so that you might serve your Goddess as a clean slate, open to all Her will and knowing none of mine. This would be a night to savor, our last night as one. Your cheeks were rosy, your lips swollen from the force of our kisses. Even still tears clung to your thick eyelashes; remnants of our painful goodbyes.

You skin was warm against mine, so soft and smooth; irresistible. Carefully, I shifted my weight, pulling one hand from beneath your head so that I could stroke your hair, your cheek, feel your sweet skin one last time before you were Hers and not mine. My throat was constricted with tears that I wouldn’t shed, lest I wake you from your slumber with my cries. Swallowing hard, I leaned down and pressed my cheek to yours, your flowery scent filling my nostrils, bringing a wave of memories with it. The first time we spoke, our first kiss, the first time you took me to your quarters and we made love in the quiet stillness of midnight.

My hand swept lower, gliding over your shoulder and down your arm to find your hand. Raising it from beneath the blanket I pressed your palm to my face, reveling in the last touch I would get from you, basking in the memories of your hand on my cheek, stroking my skin. I kissed your wrist gently, laying your arm down on the pillow beside you before I slipped from beneath the covers and dressed. The candle on your bedside was already too low and when it had burned away your cleansing would begin… it was a process no man had ever witnessed, and no man ever would.

Turning back, I took one last look at your beautiful form lying limp in the bed. The tears in my eyes threatened to overwhelm me once more and I paused, taking a deep breath. Once in control again I walked over to you again and kissed your forehead, your lips, tasting your sweetness for the last time, knowing in the morning all would be different.

As quietly as I could I stepped away and left your room, closing the door behind me. I leaned against it, finally allowing the tears to fall…and I would never let you know how much it killed me to know that you would wake in the morning and not even know my name…

Good bye my love

Good bye…