Can't tell which way is up,

don't know if I'm falling down

or if I'm swimming sideways.

Emotions, mine, hers,

bottled up with a cork at the top

waiting to explode into a nervous rage of anger,

of love, of hatred, of jealousy, of possessiveness,

of paranoia, of depression and of unworthiness.

No courage is in the soul , no self-esteem,

a mask not of lies, but of blankness-

I'm too afraid of losing a battle that seems

to go nowhere but stay rooted beneath the ground.

Too quick, movements of shadows flashing by my eyes.

Stop moving, stop time for a moment, let me breathe

I can't see what's in front of me anymore.

Don't know what I want anymore.

Can't feel what is needed anymore.

You're moving in too fast,

can't you remember?

My heart's still healing.

So wait. Don't move so quickly.

It's making the walls jump around with no coordination

and it's going to drive me up those walls towards insanity.