It took me ten months to find out that I’m in love with the biggest jerk in the world.

Well, not in love, seeing as love is something saved for movies, but in a most serious of likes.

He is only 5’11”, and like a giant super stuffed teddy bear.

His mom is a cop and his favorite color is purple.

He likes metal and rock, some chop and screw, and the music that makes your windows rattle.

He lived in the projects before moving into our little suburb.

He isn’t cute but people still take another look.

He smokes weed on the weekends and likes the taste of hard liquor.

He is my brother-from-another-mother’s best friend.

He punches me in the arm, like friends would, and tries to put me in a sleeper hold.

He tells me he hates me before giving me a hug.

He has an incredibly nice brother, from what I’ve seen anyways.

He wears purple shoes.

He makes fun of me every day and every conversation ends in “Shut up.”

He isn’t as bad as I make him seem, just a little abrupt and honest.

He makes fun of me because I can’t fight.

He went to prom in my limo and wouldn’t dance with me at all.

He honestly believes that a woman’s place is in the kitchen.

His funniest joke is women’s rights.

He thinks I’m a nerd.

His weaknesses are white women and chocolate cake.

He sits with me at concerts and protects me from the flying people in mosh pits.

He makes me hold his stuff when he joins in.

He likes making fun of stereotypes.

He can be so sweet sometimes that it hurts.

He reads manga and loves anime.

He has yet to see me cry.

He is younger than me by three months.

He is so damn mean.

He makes me smile.

He doesn’t play sports.

He puts his arm around me when we ride home from prom and lets me sleep on him.

He touches my hair.

He’s afraid of clowns and brids.

He’s always looking at me.

He sometimes smiles when I look back.

He doesn’t like independent women.

He sometimes feels like he doesn’t fit in.

He doesn’t like his women too skinny.

He doesn’t like them blonde either.

He never lets anyone in his house.

He doesn’t believe in relationships.

He never tells anyone too much.

He sings along to Nirvana in the car and always gives me his hat when it’s sunny.

He likes to make fun of my height.

He likes to say I’m just too white to understand.

He didn’t get too close when we were actually at prom.

He used to be a crush of an acquaintance.

His birthday is the day I start college.

He just shakes his head when I’m around.

He always looks like he has something else to say.

He never does.

He makes me over think every move I’ve made.

He’d walk with me to the store just because I’m bored.

He doesn’t like to be told someone likes him.

He tells me secrets when we text.

He is really insecure.

He certainly doesn’t like me.

He keeps his hair in dreads or in braids, but when it’s in an afro with a band keeping it back it’s hot.

He doesn’t dance.

He likes old school cartoons.

He doesn’t like dogs all that much.

He doesn’t trust anyone.

He is one of my dearest friends.

He always threatens to beat me up.

He’s so wonderful it hurts to think about it.

He isn’t as scary as he likes to think.

He makes my heart race by just being near.

He draws my stare without even meaning too.

He would drop me in a heartbeat if he ever found out.

He has the greatest lips in the universe and his eyes are to die for.

He’s gonna get the surprise of his life at graduation.

He may or may not really kick my ass after I kiss him.

He doesn’t know my two biggest weaknesses:

Black guys and chocolate cake.