So, apparently, I’m a lesbian.

Apparently.

So what if I hold my friends hand in school? I see it in Korean dramas all the time, and no one is calling them lovers. They even feed each other.

Okay, sure, Samantha shouldn’t have encouraged it, but it was quite obviously a joke.

But maybe not. This is how it went:

Samantha and I were walking, hand in hand. She's like a child and says it comforts her. Sam once told me that she liked holding my hand because I never overreacted and acted like the world might think we were lesbians because of it. I always thought that it was a paranoid way of thinking. Ironic isn’t it? Okay, maybe not. Let me continue.

So, we were on our way to English class, when Justin, a class A jerk (unless he wants something), said from behind us, “Oh, my god. Are you guys lesbians?” Or something like that, really. Maybe less blunt. He was standing next to Addie Sigler, this quiet girl that I went to Elementary school with. I hardly even noticed she was there.

Samantha turned to him, and with the mock solemn face that fooled me for the first few weeks of our friendship, and she said, “Yes.”

“You guys are going out?”

Samantha rolled her eyes. “God, Justin, get up to date. We’ve been going out for 2 months now.”

Justin walked faster and stopped right in front of us. His eyes rotated between the two of us. “You guys are seriously going out? Seriously?”

I couldn’t say anything. I was trying so hard to contain my laughter, much less my smile, so I didn’t dare try a word. Of course Samantha’s face retained its look, “Yeah.” She was even throwing in a look that screamed, 'Are you slow?'

He looked at me then, and then said. “Okay, Nicky, I know you won’t lie to me.”

I just looked at him, before cracking. I had to lean into Samantha for support, I was laughing that hard.

At the time I thought, well, crap. Jokes over. I'd ruined it.

But I guess not, because two periods later, my friend Adrianna was showing me her newest texts. They didn’t really speak educated English, but I understood “saw her holding hands with some girl… headed to class” and then “NickyTurner=lesbian?”

From none other than Addie Sigler herself.