|The Sea of Satire
Author: Enigmatic Night PM
Now a 'series' of serious, serious topics that must be addressed. Because you need to address the serious things in life, like the Recession, Swine Flu, Plagiarism and what to wear this coming Friday night. Chapter 3: Avoidastudyitis.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,621 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 04-07-10 - Published: 06-04-09 - id: 2681134
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
verb [ trans. ]
1. keep away from or stop oneself from doing (something) : avoid excessive exposure to the sun | the kind of place that Robyn would normally have avoided like the plague.
- contrive not to meet (someone) : boys lined up to meet Gloria, but avoided her bossy sister.
- (of a person or a route) not go to or through (a place) : this route avoids downtown Boston.
- prevent from happening : make the necessary adjustments to avoid an accident.
a |ā; ə| ( an before a vowel sound) [called the indefinite article ]
1. used when referring to someone or something for the first time in a text or conversation : a man came out of the room | it has been an honor to have you | we need people with a knowledge of languages. Compare with the [read as to]
noun ( pl. studies)
1. the devotion of time and attention to acquiring knowledge on an academic subject, esp. by means of books : the study of English | an application to continue full-time study.
( studies) activity of this type as pursued by one person : some students may not be able to resume their studies.
forming names of inflammatory diseases : cystitis | hepatitis.
- informal used with reference to a tendency or state of mind that is compared to a disease : creditcarditis.
ORIGIN from Greek feminine form of adjectives ending in -itēs (combined with nosos 'disease' implied).
Very real, very serious and very deadly, Avoidastudyitis is the inflammation of the disinclination to study. A sickness/disease that affects thousands of students every academic year/semester.
Many students are bereft of the marks/grades they know they're capable of due to this horrid illness, which takes hold of a student's mind making them think they have all the time in the world, disregarding deadlines and looming exam dates. Because of the delusional character of the illness a student will not be aware that they do not want to study, at least in many cases.
In one case study a student was shown to delude him/herself into thinking they had a few more days to complete an assignment and proceeded to take care of leisurely activities- when in reality the assignment was due the day before. In some cases a student is simply unable to summon the will to study as the will to NOT study is inflamed and thus overpowers the rationality of the student's mind, seriously impairing their decision making process. Leading to failure and in extreme cases, FAILURE and pwnage from teachers/lecturers.
Nb: pwnage refers to the public humiliation that can sometimes occur when teachers/lecturers (who do NOT acknowledge the existence of Avoidastudyitis) lose patience with an afflicted.
In order to even begin to get better one has to first identify, and accept that they have the illness.
- The need to do anything but study.
- Constant checking of any social networking profile one may have, this includes, facebook, twitter, bebo, or myspace.
- Staring out the window, if one is situated near a window, if not, the wall suddenly becomes so very interesting as does the ceiling.
- Inanimate objects, with the help of the afflicted, begin to move and talk and dance on the table.
- Every little thing that is in no way shape or form connected to what one is trying to study for becomes interesting.
- One suddenly finds time to watch episodes of shows that either haven't been seen before, or have seen many times before. Same goes for movies.
- There are currently trial treatments ranging from 'do your work pills' to a good old fashioned 'ass whooping' but these studies have yet to produce a well balanced, and feasible treatment that aids in helping stop Avoidastudyitis from taking over completely.
- Due to the lack of a proper treatment, many sufferers from Avoidastudyitis will more than likely FAIL most of their courses. Or at the very least receive harrowing marks. More often than not a sufferer of Avoidastudyitis will only recover once the illness has well and truly run its course and the afflicted fails one paper or receives a horrid mark which shakes them enough to stave off studying forever.
Perhaps the most troubling factor about the disease is the limited information people have about it. One afflicted by Avoidastudyitis may know that there is something wrong, but more often than not they're diagnosed far too late, long after anything can be done to stave off the effects of the disease...
Should find themselves exhibiting any aforementioned symptoms of the illness seek help immediately. However is you're reading this right now and there is a pile of homework assignments and essays on your desk, it's probably too late.