Promise Me Lies

He gave her twelve red roses, eleven real and one fake. With them he said, "I will love you until the last one dies". Of course, since one is fake, the last one can never die.

She still holds that beautiful perfect red rose close but he is no longer there. His feelings for her faded and he found he wanted someone new. He promised to love her until the last rose died, but it never did. Only his love went away.

She tried to hold back the tears that desperately tried to break free of her hold. She wanted to be strong; she wanted to pretend that she wasn’t hurting inside. She had been a fool to fall for such a boy. They say love is blind though and yes, she had been very, very blind to everything. Looking back everything was so obvious. His true feelings for her were clear as day. She had just been too in love too see it. She didn’t want to see it.

Even now, it had been months since they broke up and she still thought of him all the time. After all the pain he put her through she was still in love with him. Her feelings were still strong without any sign of hesitation or fading. She wanted to forget him though. She wanted her memories of him, or them together, to simply fade away. She wasn’t so lucky though she feared. The memories were clear and still just as painful.

He had used her but she didn’t understand why. He had been so good to her. His act was perfect. Why did he throw it all away? She didn’t understand what she had done wrong. She wanted to know, she wanted to change what she did but she knew deep in her heart that this was not her fault. It had been his choice. He chose to hurt her without a care towards her feelings. She had nothing to do with it. What he did to her was his choice, not anyone else’s. No one could make him do anything he didn’t want too and she knew that no one had tried.

A few tears ran down her soft cheeks smearing the little make up she wore. She couldn’t be strong when she was alone. The silence made it so hard not to think about all the hurt. The silence is what brought upon the tears and the pain and hurt and the suffering. She couldn’t make the pain fade, she didn’t know how.

Moving closer to the pillow she buried her head in her knees crying. She could no longer stop the uncontrollable tears from falling anymore. She wanted to, but she couldn’t bring herself to. This time she wasn’t strong enough, the feelings were just too overwhelming for her. She wasn’t strong or perfect enough to stop the tears.

Now she was glad that she had told no one of her feelings and how hurt she was. When anyone else was around she merely told them that her and her boyfriend broke up and she was taking a break from dating for a bit. She did not wish to be bombarded with questions and tiny details from her friends which is what she knew they would do if she was upset. She didn’t want to deal with that this time.

This time was different. This time the breakup made her feel like she was dying inside. It felt like her heart was being ripped to pieces in a some sort of physical emotional pain that she couldn’t quite yet control or even begin to understand.

The level of the pain drove her inside but when she was alone she let all the pain out. A sort of healing for her, the tears she tried to hold back was the medication and the time was the effect. With each new tear would let a little pain fade away and when she could not cry anymore she would calm down slowly only to notice the effect. The pain for now was dim and now able to be ignored.

The pain came back though every time just has horribly painful as before. The pain never went away completely though she begged the lord that it would soon. She couldn’t take this anymore, of that she was definitely sure.

She looked up slowly her face stained with tears. Her mother was home now, just walking in the door. She could hear her mothers call, letting her daughter know that she was home and to be ready for dinner in thirty minutes.

Wiping her face she sat up. She had to be okay now. She had to pretend to be strong now. Calling back to her loving mother she said she was going to take a shower then come down for dinner. She grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom forcing her mind away from the painful subject.

She knew the pain would fade one day. She just had to keep praying that that day would come very soon. Until then she had to be strong for herself, for her family, for her friends, for everyone who cared about her. She didn’t want them to worry about a silly teen breakup.