Amanda

Once upon a time, in beautiful kingdom of Athol, there lived a giant monster who had moles all over her face. Her name was Amanda. Amanda was a scary round faced bitch and had a heart of... never mind she didn't have a heart. One day Sir Colby (also known as Sue, since Amanda obviously likes women better) got stuck under her foot. And in those days trapped under her foot, he fell in love.

Of course, it wasn't the kind of love that normal people experienced. It was the kind of love that strange people experience. Amanda and Colby were from the "werefusetotouch" race of planet Earth. This race expresses their love for each other by purposely avoiding one another and barely making eye contact. One day though, Amanda with her giant balls (almost as giant as the one's in Observe and Report) put her arm around Colby. Poor Colby turned red and Amanda must have been burnt from the sudden human contact, because she quickly removed her arm and started hissing at everyone.

Especially Noah, because secretly she has a major man crush on him and didn't want him to see her sudden affection towards his girly brother Colby. Noah jumped back hoping to not make Amanda mad. He had known for quite some time that she had a crush on him and thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world. Unfortunately, when she got the lead role in a play, she showed that she had a lot of trouble touching men. This is when everyone realized that this monster was a lesbian.

And of course she and Colby made the best couple ever. Since Colby being the girliest man in school, and Amanda being the manliest girl. Cause she's a man duh. But no, Amanda didn't think so and decided to fall in love with her secret lover Sally.
Sally was a very butch girl, which was perfect for Amanda. Every time she saw Sally, Amanda would get all up in her grill and say "How's the weather up there?" Amanda did this, because she thought it was funny. Unfortunately, Sally being very tall (taller than David) didn't take this joke very lightly. So one day Sally sat Amanda down on her knee and told her kindly that she wanted to break up with her. And her reason was "Your face is too round, and you're just too much of a man for me..." and then she pushed Amanda off her lap and Amanda hit her face on the wall. She fainted...
When she woke up...Jack O'Connel was in front of her face. He tapped her on the shoulders twice and asked "Are you okay? Are you okay?" Amanda smiled from cheek to cheek. "I'm okay now..." Jack was a little freaked out by this notion. He had heard the many rumors going around that Amanda was indeed a lesbian and extremely manly. Jack was in a tricky situation. He had just given Amanda CPR and she was now going to love him for this forever and ever. Poor Jack he didn't know what to do. So he went to the people he knew could help him. Noah, Nicole, and Shelby. But sadly for him they pretty much said he was screwed. Then suddenly, Noah, the hero of every story, remembered that one time that Amanda hissed at him. He remembered that the reason she hissed was to hide her affection from him. Noah told Jack to hiss at Amanda and then she will no longer like him. So, Jack did hiss at Amanda. Which led to many horrible events.

First Amanda hisses back, and then she puts on her dress...Oh god, her giant balls were swinging all over the place in her rage. And finally, she ate Jack. And he was gone, forever. Until Amanda takes a crap. And then because she thinks she looks amazingly smexy in the dress, she wears it all day. Dragging her balls across the streets...and showing off them off to everyone. When Amanda took the crap, Jack came out, but he was dead. Amanda flushed his body down the toilet, but kept his head as a memorial of her killing. Many people had complemented Amanda on her dress, but this was because they didn't dare look below her waist or else they would have seen her massive balls swinging everywhere. Her next plan of attack was a big risk, but she was willing to take it.

End of Part 1.