How does Count Bludlust get up in the morning?

“Everyone knows that!” says the nobleman.
“He climbs out of bed in a lavish chamber
Orders a few servants around
Eats a rich and delicious meal with a hot spiced drink
And perhaps has a bath filled.”

“Everyone knows that!” says the general.
“He climbs off of a cot in an army tent
Orders a few soldiers around
Eats horrid army food and drinks stale water
And perhaps has a battle fought.”

“Everyone knows that!” says the prisoner of war.
“He climbs off of a silken bed in a foreign room
Orders a few plundered slaves around
Eats honey off of a lover’s chest and drinks chilled wine
And perhaps has a few prisoners slain.”

“Everyone knows that!” says the story teller.
“He climbs out of a black wood coffin in gloomy castle
Orders bats to carry him to a remote village
Eats the villager’s flesh and drinks their blood
And perhaps carries a lovely maid away for his pleasure.”

"Everyone knows that!" says Count Bludlust.
"I lie about all day and night in a coffin
One thousand years since passed on,
While my equals' disciples praise my memory,
and my enemies' disciples name me a demon.
Either way, my skull lacks the flesh to care."