Breathe.

Where am I? I looked out the single pained windows.

It’s snowing…how nice. I wasn’t particularly begging for it, but still, I guess it was pleasant. Last time it snowed my grandma broke her arm. I’m not superstitious or freaked out about snow or anything, but still…

Really, though, where am I?

I looked around, playing a game with myself, if I can zone out the teacher and tell how the kids are acting then I’ll be able to guess what class I’m in. I was already guessing that I was in math because if I was bored enough to fall asleep anyway, it was a boring class.

But the funny thing was, I didn’t hear any voices.

I waited for a moment before it finally scared me and I looked up, there was no one here. Not even a teacher…

Nothing.

Breathe.

I tried to come up with some logical answer, I really did but honestly there was nothing to be found. Why would there be nobody here when it’s clearly a school day, why would the door be locked from the inside if someone wasn’t intending to tear me apart piece by piece.

And then after they tear me apart piece by piece, they’d eat me, and then after they eat me, they’d—

Well, you know.

I scrambled frantically inside my jacket for my cell phone. Trying to feel out the cool smooth hellish bit of technology, but then I stopped dead in my tracks when something struck me.

I left my cell phone in my locker today because it had gone off the day before in class, or, well actually because I’m kind of a pushover and one of the rules is that you can’t have a cell phone in class.

Screw that rule.

Ok, Miles, think. All those days on addicting games and you can’t think your way out of a classroom that’s locked? Think, think, think!

I smiled warily.

The window.

It didn’t open.

No matter.

I took one of the chairs and regretted what I was about to do. Of course, I had always imagining beating a window with a chair would feel good but then I realized I was destroying public property.

Well if someone—

SMASH.

Had gotten into the school and—

SMASH!

Tried to lock me in here—

SMASH!!

I guess it’s all—

SMAASHHH!!!

Justified!

SMASSHSHHSHHASHHSAHShSHHSHSHSSHHSH!!!

Wow. That’s a lot of glass…

I stood at the window ledge for a little while, wondering if what I was going to do was more justified or stupid. I decided that it was a little of both and it was a serious enough situation where jumping out a window was purely needed.

But the problem was, this wasn’t the first floor, it was the second.

The third floor would be completely ridiculous to jump out of, the first would be too easy, but the second is…moderately high up.

The idea light went off in my head again.

I could go out with a desk so that the desk would absorb all the impact!

Why didn’t I think of this before?

I’ll tell you, it’s because I wasn’t in the mind of the animal. I wasn’t thinking by instinct, I was thinking about the rules, but who cares about rules? Rules are what kills you, rules are what dement you to being inside the box everybody wants you do.

As I picked up the desk and dragged it to be poised out the window, I paused for a moment, wondering if this would be too much.

The animal can take anything.

Even a second story jump.

I will admit, the descent was a little scary but all I had to do was—

Breathe.

There was a huge crash, the desk broke, I felt a sharp pain in my left leg but who cares? I’m alive, I can eat, I can do anything!

I AM THE ANIMAL!
“MILES! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO? JESUS CHRIST ITS LUNCH TIME AND I THOUGHT I’D LET YOU STAY IN THE CLASS BECAUSE YOU FELL ALSLEEP!”

The animal slowly died away.

I was in hot, hot, hot water.

It’s ok as long as I—

Breathe.

***

“Well this little son of a gun tried to ruin good ol’ Betty’s room,” Vern said casually as if every kid smashes a window, jumps