This is a story that I cowrote some time ago with Shay Blair, a really excellent author on my favourites list. We were aiming to write something about unhealthy obsessions, and I think we succeeded admirably. Please read and review.

Gabriel Free

I looked at him, trying to see how he was human like everyone else. Impossible. By now he had been deified to the point that him being of flesh and blood would have shattered my universe into little glass pieces that stung as they fell. His blood would have been finer and more red than any human's; his flesh was made of some sort of lace they kept in the heavens- leftovers of stars perhaps. His eyes were gigantic. They held the secrets to the world in their shadowy svelte depths.

He had grown since I had seen him last- by now he was a couple of inches taller than me, enough for me to realise he wasn't innocent any longer. Being a god does not guarantee your chastity, and his celestial beauty was sure to have been noticed by others. I did not are. I knew he was still mine. He was still my angel, if not my child.

I remember when he had first come to me. He was a fallen angel, a star dying, brilliance smouldering and consuming itself. His golden hair had been dulled by the grime of the streets, and his eyes had been dulled by their reality. I saw and beneath the filth I knew he was the light of my life.

I took his hand. He looked up, tightened his hold for one brief moment, and then snatched his hand away. I talked to him. He whispered back in words that were less than godly. Then he coughed and curled up, trying to hide his weakness. I told him I was a doctor and that I could help him. He said he thought I was a pervert who would rape and kill him if I got the chance. I said the thought had never crossed my mind, and no, I wasn't a pervert. For some reason, he seemed reassured and walked with me.

I sent him to wash himself, and he came back, mostly clean, but his hands, face and hair still dirty. I sighed, scrubbed him clean, then gave him clean clothes. I left to give him his privacy.

When I returned, the sight took my breath away. A star must have come down and taken the boy's place, for he seemed like a child made of light. He looked down, mistaking my amazement for disapproval.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, his voice small. I walked over and comforted him. I whispered how he was as beautiful as an angel sent down by grace of God. He had no name that he cared to remember, so I gave him one. Gabriel, the Lord's angel- a name to match his radiance.

His beauty brings me to the present, for I do tend to linger with a morbid fascination on the early days. I am sorry. Many years later, he was still as glorious as he was that day- his name still suited him perfectly. Now, though, he had a grown-up beauty, but still retained his childhood purity. His His hair was still as silky gold, as soft to the touch as sheep's down. He was my god, I his humble devotee. If my paternal lovehad grown too worshipful, it changed nothing. He was my life, I wanted the best for him and do anything to insure it for him.

He had come back to inform me that he was desperately in love with a comely girl he had met in college. He was seeking my consent to ask her to marry him. I told him that it would be nice if I could meet her first before making my decision. A little old-fashioned of me, perhaps, but I had raised the boy after all. He seemed more than happy to meet my request, confident that I would find her suitable.

I was in turmoil. Of course, I wanted him to be happy. I knew that Gabriel was level-headed enough to find a wonderful girl, but at the same time, I did not want him to leave me again, this tim because of love. I felt threatened by this girl, and as a result, I would likely be a bit hard on her.

Her name was Bianca. She was pleasant enough, very intelligent, and rather pretty (in all fairness, she resembled Gabriel in some ways, but she was nowhere near his blazing radiance). She had flaws, of course. She had a way of clinging to Gabriel's arm that seemed a little... possessive, even to me. She was a smoker, and despite her obvious intelligence, she was shallow.

Gabriel seemed to overlook her flaws, as he was in love with her. I didn't try to point out Bianca's shortcomings to him; when it came to things he wanted, he was stubborn. I gave them my consent, was thanked profusely, and then left alone.

The first six months were relatively peaceful. Gabriel and his wife lived happily for these six months. Then things started to go downhill. She started to chide him for wanting so little when she wanted so much more. She was an all-consuming black hole that was stripping my angel-star of his energy. For the first time since the day I met him first, Gabriel's luminescence was dulled, trying to make this monster happy. I did not want my angel-star killed by the devil at his side. I could not stand even thinking about it.

I had them come for dinner. Gabriel by now was completely lack-lustre, and in his wife was the light he had lost. We ate in unusual silence, my blood boiling as I saw he looked almost... human. I let them go, not knowing what to say or feel.

The next day, the news came. My angel, my star, my perfect little child, some to me and wept in my arms. I could not believe it. Gabriel had not cried in fifteen years. For him to do so now lowered him to something degrading. I could not bear the sight, but I endured as he told me the story in halting tones. Bianca, who had taken an extended vacation in a nearby city as of late, called him and told him to accompany her to dinner. Gabriel met her at a rather expensive restaurant, hoping that perhaps her off behaviour had been due to stress of this new life. He realised it was not, however, when he saw she was accompanied by another man who dripped wealth.

I could not listen to any more of this story, so I held Gabriel close, wishing I could take away his pain. I put him to bed, and what I did next I did in a sort of trance. My angel demanded my complete obedience and servitude. I would not fail. I could not fail. A few hours later, I exited a different house, a much bigger one. I looked down at my bloody hands, and shuddered. What I had done was horrible, but necessary. Bianca and her new beau were no more, and Gabriel was free.

I closed my eyes and reflected some more as blood dripped from my hands and onto the freshly fallen snow. Gabriel's humiliation had been public. There had been witnesses, several people in that restaurant who I would have to deal with in order to restore Gabriel. Would I need to deal with everyone there? My desperation grew, and I panicked. From this panic was born a moment of clarity.

I knew what had to be done. I gazed at all that blood on the perfect snow, and knew that I could not employ the same method this time around. To free Gabriel from his suffering, the release could not be bloody. I walked home, my body numb but my mind clearer than it had ever been. It felt like a dream. Despite the fact that I could see this was real, I held onto the hope that I would wake up and find my angel there, luminosity restored.

I gently put down a glass of milk and a cookie.

"Here Gabriel. Drink this. It will help you feel better," I said.

He did not believe me, but took the milk all the same. As he sipped, he started to get come colour back, starting to regain his godliness. I took his hand when he finished. He gave me a half-hearted smile.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "So sorry, my angel."

He looked at me, confusion marring his perfect face. I comforted him, saying it was nothing. I didn't want him imperfect in death. I wanted him to leave a beautiful corpse.

I held him close to me, soothing him as he started to struggle for breath. My fingers gently stroked his downy hair, and I whispered a sonnet in his ear. I didn't want him to be frightened, I wanted him to be calm and happy for his last moments. Suppose he was feeling pain? No, he just needed to shut his eyes and go to sleep. This was one of the most peaceful ways to die.

I clutched his hand and felt his wrist. The chant of blood was beginning to slow and his marble flesh was starting to cool. As I released his hand, his breathing became quieter, and his beautiful eyes slowly closed to the serene peace I had given him. In a moment, he had stopped breathing altogether, and his body was icy cold. I quietly lay him on his bed, and looked at him silently. Even with the spirit completely gone, Gabriel still seemed holy. His lips were slightly parted, as though in prayer. But he would not talk again, he would never again open his eyes or smile.

He would never again light my life.

I could bear many things, including the guilt of killing the boy I had raised, but a lifetime without Gabriel was impossible for me to process. I shut and locked the door to Gabriel's room, determined that nothing would disturb his peace. Then I walked downstairs to the kitchen. I took a kitchen knife from a drawer, hesitating as I held the blade to my wrists. No, I could not do this without seeing Gabriel. I slowly went back to his room, unlocked the door, and shut myself in with the boy. I sat in the corner farthest from him- I did not want to sully him with my blood. Then I cut both my wrists, and lost consciousness within the minute.

Now I am here, where you tell me I will go to jail for my crimes. What I did to Bianca was forgivable, but I understand completely- killing an angel is unforgivable.