At the crossroads

I close my eyes and try to ignore the presence at my side. I give it my all for a few moments. But then they open again. I'm too late. I should have tried to do this earlier. But I was foolish then, so very foolish. And now it's going to cost me. The only question is if I can pay the price.

He hurries a few more steps until he's in front of me.

I look away.

"What's with you, Daina?" He's asking me.

I shake my head. "Nervous is all."

I'm lying. I have to. What other choice is there?

He laughs. "That's dumb," he says. "No need for it. Everyone else has come this way once, and they come back to the Village okay."

"Easy for you to say. Your route is way less treacherous than mine."

Yes. Banter. Banter is good. It'll keep me distracted.

"Physically, yes, but you have to be good. That's no small feat."

"If it is for you, you've been hanging out with us Dusks too long."

"You're better than the rest of the Dawns. They have no brains."

I laugh, but stop myself. The Crossroad is in the distance.

"Shit." He says. "We've been walking for days, and the moment it becomes easy, the goddamn Crossroad shows up. It fucking pisses me off."

I laugh. "You have been with us Dusks too much. I've never heard a Dawn cuss like that!"

He smiles. "I'm trying to get it out of my system now. It brings a harsh punishment in the East."

"You ought be breaking that habit, then. It isn't in your nature. You'd never have done that when you first came to the Village."

It was true. He was as pure as any other Dawn when he was ten. But then he got curious...

Five years later, and here he is, cussing like we do.

I felt almost proud. I know that was from him being with me.

Suddenly I feel remorse, not something natural for a Dusk.

Our inky black skin isn't supposed to let anything through but fury and sick joy. We're not like Dawns. We don't glow, 'cept for our yellow eyes. We don't talk things out instead of yelling. We don't do nice things. And most of all, we don't feel bad for anything or anyone. We get mad.

And yet, I do feel sad. It was those words "With me." That was a state Ryan would never be.

I shake my head. No, I'm being stupid and naive again. Dusks never like Dawns. It was those goddamn eyes of his. Those deep, pure, gorgeous blue-

I shake my head again. Yeah, they were hypnotizing, those eyes. Of course, it might have been the softness of his hands, or the warmth of his body, or the sweetness of his scent, or-

"You having a seizure there, Daina?" He asks. "Or is their something in your hair you're trying to get out?"

"Just thinking stupid stuff."

"You miss your friends."

"Do not."

"Do to."

"Oh, admit it! The big scary dusk misses her little comrades in chaos!"

I laugh. "Well, if you put it that way!"

He laughs too.

But then he stops.

"We're here."

Sure as anything, here's the fork in the road. One to the left, towards the setting sun, one on the right to where it'll rise again in the morning, and one in the middle where no one ever went.

Rumor had it that that was where the people exiled to die in the woods went. No one that had taken that path had come back. Nope, just left and right. Word was that it was nothing but an illusion, that there wasn't really any sort of middle ground. Didn't matter, though, I'm going to go left.

I feel choked up.

"Well." He says. "I guess this is goodbye."

"I guess." I look down.

"Hey..." He says, "I'm never going to see you again, so... is there anything you want to know, or want to say?"

I was to open my mouth, but I know I can't speak.

"Well, then I'll go." He leaned in close. "You're the best friend I've ever had, Daina."

I nod, "You too."

He takes a step back. "I wish this didn't have to happen."

"I-I'm sure you'll be happier there. You'll be only with your own kind."

"I hope so, and same for you."

I force a smile and watch him walk away to the right.

Part of me never thought I'd see him do that, or at least hoped I never would. Back in the Village, it seemed like a far-off dream. Leave our parents? Never. And then once I started coming to terms with the leaving, I couldn't grasp going to somewhere all Dusks.

I was born in the West, sure, but after five years of the village I can barely believe my birthplace was real. Never seeing a single Dawn? What was that like?

I don't know I want to go back, I'm one of the youngest so most of my friends have already gone home, but still, this doesn't feel right.

The Village is there so that children can grow up seeing the Dawns for what they really are: Goody-goody two-shoes-es who couldn't live it up if their entire families were on the line. It stopped us from being curious and leaving the West. It was also a sort of booster shot for our parents.

Then, once we were fifteen, we could return home. Then we would learn to really use our gifts. We could even learn to fly, which was how our parents got home.

In the West, you always would know you were alive. There were nightclubs, bars, brothels, and movie theaters like you would not believe. That was another reason we went to the Village. It wasn't really the best place to raise kids. The only downside was if you were one of the people who weren't strong enough to take the training and ended up working at one of the aforementioned establishments.

I suddenly remember something and pull off my backpack.

"Ryan!" I call.

He stops and turns to me. "Yeah?"

"Here, I want you to have this."

I pull out the present my mother gave me before I left. It's a small charm made of wood.

"What is it?"

"It's a necklace. It's for good luck."

"Where did you get it?"

I explain that my mother gave it to me.

He looks down at the present, and then up to me.

"Why me?"

"I want to make sure you're protected." I turn my head to the side. "Besides, you'll need it more than me to fit in. Didn't you hear all the swearing you were doing earlier?"

He smiles. "I doubt it. I don't know if you've realized how nice you've gotten."

"Hey, shut up someone might hear."

He shakes his head and cracks the pendant in half.

"Why'd ya do that?! Now it's useless."

"No it's not." He handed me the half with the chain still attached. "Now it's not just luck, it's something we can share."

"That is so corny."

"Then give it back!"

I close my fist around the necklace.

"See? There you go. Now whenever you feel the weight around your neck. You can think of me."

He smiles at me and I smile back.

"Now, goodbye!" He says. "I hope we meet again in the Village when we have our own kids!"

"Yeah! Goodbye!"

I open my fist and stare at the wood.

"He doesn't know what he's done." I murmur.

He just did more hurt than help.

First he turned, he still cared about me.

Then he was kind, he was still such a good guy- that was something I knew I'd never get again.

After that, he gave me something to remember him by. I don't want to remember him. I want to block him out. It would make it so much easier. I'm tempted to chuck the goddamn thing. But I can't, that would be such an insult.

And them the last was the worst. "I hope we meet again in the Village when we have our own kids," he said. "When we have our own kids."

"Are you really that dumb?" I ask. I'm talking to the pendant, but I think it knows I mean Ryan.

"Did you not know how that cut me?"

I sink to my knees. He's gone. He won't see.

"When we have kids."

He knows that as soon as he gets to the East, he'll be paired up with some other girl. And he knows that he'll be with her.

"Do you not know?"

Her.

It'll be her.

"Why? Why can't we match?"

And it won't be me.

I place the pendant around my neck and place my head in my hands.

I'm glad I didn't tell him, that only would have been worse.

I feel tears well up in my eyes.

I'm glad I never told him I love him.

Those three thoughts are putting me over the edge. So now I'm sitting on the ground, a big strong Dusk who's totally of age.

And I'm crying.

Just because one boy,

And a Dawn at that,

Is a Dawn

And he can't love me.

How fucked up is my life?

---

A/N: I can't seem to understand why this is my most popular submission, but it seems to be. If you liked this, please go to my profile and read my story Red Moon. That poor lady really needs some reviews. And I promise that there is romance. Not right away, but still.