It ain’t easy, being what I am, who I am. Livin a life of war, never knowin where to look, who to trust.. Oooh lord, I think of the bad days, when the wars just began, seein everyone I knew tossed down into a life of slavery and hardship. I barely made it out alive, to become one of the resistance, to fight back for my family and my world.

They descended like a great lot of beasts upon us, with their pale skin and giant claws. We could do nothing to stop them, and as my ma and pa were lifted above me, grasped in its great scaly tentacles, it let out a cry that made my blood run cold. I did the only thing I could, I ran. It felt as if my legs were made of stuffing, like my body was jelly and it was all I could do to get away. I never saw my parents again.

The next time I encountered these monsters, I thought I was prepared. I should have known better than to meet them on their terms.

Our battleground was a wide, open field, interrupted only by their great watchtowers and black catapaults. I was stupid then, and painin over the loss of my family. My sister had gone two days before, to try to find my parents, and today it was her I was after. i was on fire, madder n’ a hornets nest. I dunno why I let my sister go, it shoulda been me, but I was stupid, and afraid, and I was payin for it.

I crept up real quiet like, my eyes wide open, my hands clutching the only weapon I could find. It was a wooden spoon, from my ma’s kitchen, large and heavy and ready to fell them beasts what I call evil. I wore her kitchen gear too, to blend in with my surroundins. I felt kinda proud of that, of my quick thinking and improvisin, and I held that spoon as tightly as I could.

Them bastards, they rigged the ground. It looked like dirt to me, but when I stepped on it, oh the agony! Its spikes shot up into my feet and I nearly cried out with the pain of it. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, and I nearly died of fright. Then I thought of my sista, all alone in there, cold and afraid, and I took another step. It hurt like the devil, but I kept on, one after the other, promising my revenge on them when I got my sista back.

I heard em before I saw em. They was up in their watchtower, shriekin and a thumpin and makin a real mess of things. I crawled right up under them, and looked up, and through the slats of their floor I could see my sister, and my friends, being tossed about like rag dolls, their faces frozen in fear. I ain’t ever had a madness like that, and I tell you, it took all I had to stay right there and not go a hoppin up after them right there.

I moved right on past them and to their entrance, which looked like a great big ladder, gross in its size, and far too big for the likes of me. I couldn’t climb it, and for a second I feared I had lost, but then I saw what ultimately became their undoing. It was like a big red tongue, laid out before me in welcoming. I figure it was for their quick exit, like an evacuation, but I knew I could scale it. I had to scale it. I sidled over to it real quick, and put one foot up on it. It slipped right off, easy as pie, and I knew those slick bastards had greased it. They weren’t so dumb after all.

I dropped my spoon and laid upon that tongue with both hands, a slippin and a slidin the whole way. But I made it up, just like across that devil dirt, and soon I could see them, really see them, growling and clicking and screeching at each other.

My sister saw me and almost gave the game away, her face makin a big smile and her arms reaching out toward me. Luckily, those monsters were too busy wreckin things to notice, and I managed to stay undetected. I put my fingers to my lips and moved up, trying to figure out how I’d get her outta there. I knew I couldn’t take them all, couldn’t save all my friends, and oh lordy it hurt me to leave them there. But she was my sister, and it was my fault she was there.

Just as I was a setting there, wondering what to do, I saw my friend Elvin look up at me. He and I had grown up together, and I felt a tear roll on past my nose as we stared at each other. And I’ll never forget what he did for me.

Before I could even move, even stop him, he leapt up, his legs workin as fast as they could, runnin for the edge, dashin as he sacrificed himself for my family.

Them monsters, they were real stunned, and they reached out, groanin and moanin as they tried to stop him.

I ran for my sister, just as fast as my best friend Elvin, and I grabbed her up, not lookin back as I heard him hit the edge and fling himself over. I slid down that tongue, hearin his cries and the shrieks of those beasts, my sister in my arms and mixed feelins running through my heart.

She held as still as she could, and I pounded across the devil dirt, sobbin silently for the loss of one of my bravest friends.

It was too easy to make it out, distracted as they were by the death before them, and the last thing I saw, before I ducked underground and home, was them picking up Elvin’s body, lookin all kinda unconcerned, holdin it by one arm and shakin him.

It ain’t easy being what I am, who I am, never knowing who to trust, where to look, who to save. I got decisions to make against these monsters and I tell you, it ain’t easy bein a teddy bear.