IMPORTANT A.N.!

Greetings and salutations, everyone! Welcome to my new story. I know, I know, I’ve started so many, and still haven’t updated OTE. But you can’t argue with the muse.

For now, I’m calling the story Blind Love. If anyone has a suggestion for a better title as they read, I would be grateful if they dropped me a line. Also, this is the first fiction I write in first person so opinions and comments would also be appreciated.

As you well know, Enraptured – previously known as COA – is being published by Siren Publishing. Therefore, I will be busy with edits – both for COA and M&MV - and will probably be slow in updating. I have a bit written for Blind Love and hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 1

To be alone. An overwhelming feeling I fight to defeat and yet it consumes me. It consumes me, because the one person that can heal my heart and send my demons away is not by my side. I do not know where he is – perhaps he is no longer alive, perhaps the cruelty of fate finally ended his days. If it were so, I would wish to know it – for in that moment, I would die as well. The only reason I live now is the hope that someday, somehow we will be reunited.

I first met him a few years ago – in a garden of all places. I had randomly wandered from the extravagant party I’d been invited to. After a while, the parties, the laughter, the sweet wines – it all got superfluous and I was sick of it like I was sick of the lies and intrigue of the fae court.

All of the sudden, there he was, right in front of me. He was beautiful – but not in that feminine way that the fae sometimes boasted. No! His was a more peculiar beauty, the classical perfection of elven features mixed in a purely masculine face speaking of a powerful warrior.

It was by no means love at first sight. My heart was frozen and jaded from the years I’d spent in the company of all the wrong people. Even so, for some inscrutable reason, I wanted to talk to him at once. Even from the distance, he radiated an aura of power that fascinated me. And then he looked at me, bright blue eyes so beautiful that held neither of the strength nor the filth that I associated with a life of fighting. But no, he did not look at me – that is a wrong way to put it. He looked in my direction, his beautiful unseeing eyes not registering my presence and started to sing. And with his song, my wish to speak to him changed, instantly morphing into compulsion.

“The blind elf”. That’s what they called him. He had been born blind, the child of a noble woman and an unknown father. If not for his mother insistence, he would have never lived in the first place. It would have probably been kinder, since for an elf, to be blind was the ultimate curse. But his mother had refused to let him go, and so he had remained amongst the living.

I had thought that maybe his mother’s status in elven nobility had protected him, for he looked serene and without a care in the world. But his song was as sad as it was beautiful, and I soon learned elven society was cruel to ones that did not abide their rules and to the ones that were different.

***

2 years ago…

Glittering lights decorated the tall marble columns of the palace, intricate patterns of glowing symbols welcoming the guests to the celebration of victory. Beautiful banners praising the gods for their assistance in battle adorned the walls, reminding everyone of the purpose of the party. I peeked at the guests furtively and inwardly snorted. Our religion had long ago lost its meaning to everyone but the priests, and the battle was as far from the guests’ minds as the border with the demon country was. These balls were held for three distinct purposes, none of which was praising the gods. It was all about sex, money and power, or variations and combinations of each. It made me feel sick.

As a war hero, I had a compulsory appearance in the festivities tonight. I expected I would be congratulated, fawned over and schmoozed, I expected nobles presenting their young unwed daughters to me and the pretty elven girls smiling and blushing on command. There were so many things I knew would happen, the same things that happened every time, and yet there was no way for me to escape it. I couldn’t wait to get the thing over with, so that I could return to his chambers. I could no longer bear seeing the seductive forms of my sisters sashaying around the room, giggling flirtatiously with guests of different races, or watching my brother disappear in one of the hidden alcoves with whoever had caught his sight for the night.

But in truth, if I was completely honest, I envied them. I too yearned for the warmth of human contact, for the feel of a lover’s embrace. I missed bathing nude in the clear rivers, basking in the hot rays of the sun. We’d all been so carefree and happy growing up, but life had at some point parted our ways. With their coming of age, my sisters had turn over night from laughing sprites to seductive sirens. Together with my brother and me, we’d thrown parties that were renowned for their debauchery in the whole of Leothein. But I was no longer the one I had been before the war

I did not regret what I had done. It had been a necessary feat, for the safety of Leothein. The soldiers of the Northern armies had needed a leader, and for all my youth, I had been the perfect pick. Some had said that I’d been sent not in spite of my youth, but because of it – no one had wanted to risk certain death in battle with the demons of the North. But I had returned, victorious, our country yet again safe from its enemies.

And yet I couldn’t help but feel that all those who had feared the front had been correct – that a part of me was well and truly dead and there was no longer getting it back.

The light sound of approaching footsteps alerted me to a new presence. Elves were by nature stealthy creatures – my own kind, the dark elves, even more so than their fae brethren. Even so, my years in the war had shaped my instincts to the extent that no one could surprise me any longer.

I schooled my features into neutrality as I heard my father step from the shadows.“Jan…” He began. “What are you doing, hiding here?”

I turned and pasted an obviously dishonest smile on my face. “Just taking in some night air, father.”

My father nodded, his expression thoughtful. I hoped he would leave it at that and allow me my solitude, but alas, it was not meant to be. My father took post by my side and not looking towards me, he idly commented, “Wonderful party, is it not?”

I inwardly sighed at his father’s inquiry. “Yes, father. A wonderful party.” I murmured, not even bothering to attempt to show enthusiasm. My father knew me too well to fall for such lies and masks.

“Come now, Jan. You could at least give it a chance.” My father said with a sigh. “You used to love parties. At least try to enjoy yourself.”

“I am enjoying myself.” I snapped. “I am a dark elf. It is night who nourishes me, who feeds my heart and my magic. Isn’t that what you always say?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” My father rubbed his eyes wearily and I felt an absurd amount of satisfaction at his exasperation. “The war is over. Would it kill you to be civil for one evening?”

I gave my father a dark look, a scathing reply already forming on my lips. So many possible answers, so many things to torture my father with! He’d been comfortably sipping wine from his priceless silver goblets while I was fighting for my life and dying inside more and more with every second that passed. He’d been laughing and enjoying the luxuries he took for granted while I’d been literally swimming in blood and guts. I could tell him things about killing that would pop the comfortable bubble he lived in. If he had my memories, he would not be so easy to discard the war as being over.

In the end, no such answer left my lips. It had been my choice alone to go to war, I did not regret it and I could not blame him for the things I had seen and I had lived. If there was one thing I despise more than anything else is self-pity. I was here and I was alive. Perhaps I was no longer the same, perhaps I had lost a lot of things, but there had been so many of my companions who hadn’t even returned.

And so, I nodded my assent, muttering under my breath, “Fine. One night.” After all, my father’s never ending quest to breed me would have little success anyway and it was best to choose one’s battles.

“Marvelous!” My father perked up immediately. “Come! There are so many people I want you to meet!”

I followed my father back into the glittering ballroom, having already resigning myself to an evening of societal hell. I just had to make an appearance, just the normal smile-and-nod, in a stunning combination with pretend-not-to-see-the-grimaces-and-hear-the-whispers. For I knew that, in spite of my so-called glory, no elven lady would willingly wed someone like me – a soldier disfigured and torn by the horrors of war. For all they knew, I was dead inside, a ghost, like the rumors said, like everyone in the army now called me.

My father nodded to members of the ton as we passed and I kept a fake smile on my face at all times. As we stopped to greet several counts and viscounts, I thought that for sure, the smile would be forever carved in my features. I was already tired and the evening had just begun.

We slowly made our way through the crowd, stopping from time to time to chat with various groups. I smiled and nodded, adding an appropriate word here and there. Strangely enough, my father seemed to have little patience for useless conversation as well. It was then that I realized, with much dismay I might add, that my father was slowly, but steadily leading me towards Count Wind-wisp’s table.

Count Wind-wisp was one of the most influential figures of Southern Leothein. Like my own family, the Wind-wisp clan were among the sturdiest pillars of the elven political system – and among the few of the figures who insisted on the centralization of our state. Secretly, I agreed with him. The war had proven that divided we were weak, but together, nothing could stand in our way.

Still, I was a dark elf, and Wind-wisp was a fae elf. Therefore, in spite of having the same political ideas, we rarely saw eye to eye. It was one of the main reasons Leothein had the organization it had in the first place – dark elves and fae elves simply did not mix. I knew my father had the same idea. Why would he suddenly want to chat to Wind-Wisp?

The answer was, of course, an entirely predictable one. The count smiled and greeted my father politely then turned his attention to me.

“General Jan’ke. Greetings. I did not know you had arrived. This is my daughter, Alana.”

Following etiquette, I bowed low and kissed the girl’s wrist. She blushed as she’d obviously been instructed, but I saw the flash of fear in her eyes before she carefully hid it behind a practiced smile. I answered with a practiced smile of my own. “Jan’ke Night-borne. It is an honor, my lady.” Feeling disgusted with myself and with her, I decided that for the night, I could go with my father’s delusions – and tomorrow I would conveniently organize a hunt or a scouting trip or whatever and leave the fae palace. It was only so much that I could take without completely losing my mind. “Care to dance?” I asked Alana.

The girl assented with a barely perceptible nod. “I would love to dance, my lord.” She whispered.

Ignoring her more than obvious nervousness, I took Alana and led her to the dance floor. It was not hard for me to fall in line with the couples surrounding us. Elves were naturally graceful, and not even all the time I’d spent in the company of death could erase my aristocratic upbringing. And so, I twirled Alana around the dance floor, her beautifully embroidered dress brushing against the glistening floors with a swishing sound. Other couples watched us surreptitiously as we danced, but I paid them no heed. Alana was a good dancer and at some point, she must have realized I would not bite her, because she relaxed considerably and allowed her body to move gracefully with mine.

After a few dances, I finally considered my societal duty to be completed for the night. I bowed to Alana and offered her a smile. “Thank you for the lovely dance, my lady.”

“It was an honor, lord Night-borne.” Alana curtsied gracefully, gifting me with a full view of her more than generous cleavage. As we walked back to the table, the count clapped, his eyes, still sharp in spite of his age, analyzing us slyly. I could practically hear the gears turn in his head, and knew that I had made a mistake in accepting my father’s “suggestion” and dancing with Alana. Now the count would expect me to court his daughter and probably, in the future, wed her.

The count’s approval of me naturally made my father’s supremely happy. He tapped me on the shoulder cheerfully and grinned, his first sincere smile of the night. Half of me was pleased that I was the cause of that smile, but the other half wanted to slap it away.

The following hours passed in a whirlwind of fake laughter, flowery perfume and less than subtle hints. After what was probably my fifteenth dance with Alana – I’d lost count at some point – I hastily made my escape, stealthily making my way to the balcony and jumping down to the lower level terrace.

Landing on my feet, I proceeded to explore my new surroundings. Now that I had escaped my father’s clutches and effectively avoided being dragged off to yet another round of polite platitudes, I felt more than a little relieved. I walked randomly through the deserted hallways, finding comfort in the solitude. I didn’t even know where I was going, a fact which was unusual for a soldier like myself, but I couldn’t care less. It was choosing the lesser of two evils – and quite honestly, I didn’t think I could take much longer of Count Wind-wisp, Alana and my father.

My footsteps fell noiselessly on the marble floor, and I almost chuckled at the peculiarity of my own person. It was a habit I had acquired during my years in the war – to be as noiseless as possible – to the extent that I had become almost a ghost. It was somewhat fitting that I would be thusly named by my brothers-in-arms. A ghost.

And so, just like a ghost, I slipped through the shadows, unheard and unseen by anyone. I don’t know how much time I spent randomly exploring the labyrinthical corridors when I finally found something of interest. There were so many twists and turns, and it somehow made it exciting that for once, I was venturing into something unknown. Right and left, left, forward and right, right again and so it went, on and on. I was a bit surprised when the corridor finally ended, a beautifully carved arch marking the entrance to an interior garden straight ahead. It was by no means unusual, fae elves were very close to nature and there was an abundance of gardens all throughout the palace. I was a bit disappointed that my exciting expedition had led to something this common, but in the end, I decided that I had nothing better to do, and went in.

It was by no means as beautiful and elaborately decorated as the main garden of the palace, which boasted splendidly carved sculptures and marble fountains decorated with priceless gems. However, this small garden held a serenity that the main garden did not. I took a step forward only to realize that one of the benches in the center was occupied by a lone figure.

I silently took in the appearance of the bench’s occupant. He was a fae elf, that much was clear. Even so, his sharp, almost rugged features spoke of the possibility of a mixed heritage. I would not have bet money on this questionable fact, since my impression may have been influenced by the way he wore his long hair, loose on his shoulders, not braided like elves tended to usually arrange it. The wind passed through his blond locks, playfully tugging on the strands, but he made no movement to arrange his ruffled hair. He seemed oblivious to everything around him, including my presence. This latter fact did not entirely surprise me, since I had been unintentionally very silent in my approach.

I just stood there for the longest time, watching him in silence and drinking in the mystery of his presence. As the wind passed through his hair, I could see his pointy ears peak out naughtily from his blond locks, and as the seconds ticked passed, I was getting more and more convinced that I’d been originally mistaken about his ancestry. For all his ruggedness, he possessed the flawless beauty of the elves, skin unmarred by traces of age or disease.

My analytical account of him was abruptly cut off when all of the sudden the mysterious stranger opened his mouth and started to sing. The melody escaping his lips in tones of ancient elven spoke of night and day, life and death, sorrow and love. Like the song of a nightingale, it was so strikingly beautiful, sad, tragic, lonely and yet so very perfect, that I unwillingly let out an almost inaudible gasp.

Instantly, the man stopped singing and raised his head. His blue eyes scanned the expanse of the garden, but passed over my frozen figure without seeing me. “Who’s there?” The stranger asked.

It was only then, when I first saw his blue eyes, that I realized the mysterious elf was blind. It wouldn’t have been impossible for me to retreat, since it was more than obvious that he couldn’t have identified me later on. But there was something about the singing elf, some unknown force that drew me to him – and instead of making a hasty escape, I took a step forward. “Sorry.” I said roughly. “I did not mean to intrude. You have a beautiful voice.”

The other elf frowned at me – or better said, in my direction. “Who are you? I do not know your voice.”

“I imagine not. I’m from the Northern armies. My name is Jan’ke Night-Borne. I’m here for…”

“The party.” The blind elf scoffed, his voice snappish and disdainful. “How so very interesting! I do hope you’re enjoying yourself.”

His tone irritated me, instantly worsening my already sour mood. The expression on his face was the most pure portrayal of contempt I had seen in my life. “Actually, no.” I snapped. “I’m not enjoying myself. I do not enjoy the company of frivolous and judgmental imbeciles.” With that, I got up and just out of habit, said goodbye with a military salute.

I was completely aware that my salute was quite ridiculous, since he could not see me. Perhaps I had done it on purpose, finding a stupid form of satisfaction in mocking his disability. It was low of me, but I was beyond caring and compassion and I felt too irritated to consider the reasoning behind his actions or consider my own too carefully. Enough was enough: the count’s remarks and my father’s insistence had already annoyed me beyond measure and I did not have the patience to deal with a bitter blind elf. “Have a good night!”

A voice stopped me in my tracks. “Please stay…” The blind elf said apologetically. “I apologize, my lord Night-borne. Please stay!”

I considered ignoring his apology and taking my leave regardless. However, I did not really have anything better to do, and if I was completely honest, this strange blind elf intrigued me. I felt a sudden compulsion to get to know him better, to decipher his mystery, and maybe to hear his song again.

With that thought in mind, I walked towards the bench and the blind elf’s seated figure. I had no idea at the time that this decision would change my life.