if I close my eyes and breathe deeply,
I can imagine that the body violating
my essence is you.

I can imagine the snap of my sanity
is the soft caress of your body next
to mine, and that the quiet grunt of
his release is your softly uttered sigh.

coarse hands fumble at my skin and
sweat makes him clumsy and he
swears at me, calls me a whore.

(I remember the nights when you smelled like vanilla,
and the nights that the sheets were soft around our
legs and you whispered and my body glowed and my
laughter danced around your skin and we both glanced
at lilting butterflies)