Chapter Fifteen

Victor stared down at the sleeping female and felt a wave of guilt. He had watched her lick up the blood from her lips with a fascination that bordered on lust, and yet the only thought on her mind was of the one male that held her heart, even in death. And that one male had been Victor's best friend at one point.

“Should I take her back to her room?” Darren watched Victor with narrowed eyes, as though he were trying to figure out the other man's expression. He still held the female within his embrace.

Victor shook his head. “No, as soon as she's awake again, she'll need another feeding. Her reaction was strong, so it would be best to fill her belly as quick as possible. After she has enough control during a feeding we'll be taking her to Hunger.” Though it was no telling how long that would be. Based on her reaction it would be logical to assume that the strength of her needing will take quite a while to sate.

Of course, Lord knew, no vampire's hunger was ever fully sated. It was one of the compensations to relatively eternal life. And perpetual hunger pangs were not a fun thing for something that could live practically forever.

He took her into his arms with decided ease, supporting her as one would a sleeping child. Moving back to the couch, which had been shoved further away in everyone's haste to get out of the way of overexposed feelings, Victor gently laid the female down, her dark hair fanning out on the cushions, the dim lighting giving her pale skin a golden glow.

Victor gave a hard shake of his head, trying to dislodge the sensual thoughts.

“Sir?” Darren was looking at Victor with narrowed eyes and pursed brows, as though trying to figure out what was going on in his head.

“Ask among the family who will be willing to do a second feeding.”

Darren nodded and kept the questions in his eyes to himself. He was a good man, a good second-in-command as it were. Among all the fighters of their clan, Darren was the only one Victor would ever truly trust at his back. Not that he didn't trust his clan, just that he trusted Darren the most.

When it came to battle, he trusted Darren even more so than he trusted his own sister. As harsh as that sounds.

Victor spent another moment knelt beside her, simply staring down at the female, her face soft and beautiful in repose. Her emotions were also in slumber, soft as a serene lake, as oppose to its previous raging rapids. With a quick look around at the few faces left in the room that were turned away, going about their own business until called, Victor gave in to his curiosity and opened himself up that little bit to take in what few emotions were seeping from her. The first to register, which was as it always is with sensing vampires, was that deep hunger pang. Sifting out that, the next emotion was loss. Different forms of it, all tangled together like a well-braided rope. Loss of love, loss of self. Voluntary loss and the loss of something so unexpected, so ravage that it tore the heart from your chest with a salted blade and poured acid into the raw wound until you begged for death to take you as well.

She had been truly and deeply in love with Lucian. Victor pulled back from the banked emotions and forced himself to his feet. He turned from her just as the doors opened and Claire stood in the opened space.

He had to clear his throat before he could speak. “How is Trent doing?”

“We're giving him fluids to replace the blood that was lost. He has minor nerve damage in his wrist. It's too soon to tell if he'll have any problems with that hand's mobility but we're confident he'll recover perfectly. There was just enough healing agent released into the wound to speed recovery along.”

Victor nodded. “Good. That's...good.” Another clearing of the throat. “She'll need to feed again as soon as she wakes up.”

“I know. I passed Darren. The family is a little hesitant but he's gather volunteers.”

Another nod. Another muttered “Good.”

Victor was about to turn away when Claire's low voice came again. “Can I ask you something.” It wasn't a question.

“Do I get a choice?” He tried to give a grin but Claire's eyes were too solemn for levity.

“Do you think it wise to find personal fascination with this particular female?”

No. No he didn't. Not with everything she's been put through already. Damn it, she wasn't even legal to drink alcohol and already she's been dragged through hell in the worst possible ways. It wouldn't be good to allow himself to feel anything but comradery toward this particular female, at least for a very long time. She deserved so much more consideration than that.

Either feeling his answer or taking his silence for the right one, Claire turned from the room without making him say anything out loud. Which was so much like her. It did pain Victor once in a while, like now, that he couldn't have fallen for that particular female. She was only two inches shy of six feet, had the body of a supermodel and a silken fall of chestnut waves. She was a leader in her own right, confident in her abilities and always knew when she was in too deep. And never afraid to admit it. But no matter how much Victor had tried in the past to fall for her, Claire just wasn't his type. And she was okay with that. Hell, she was happy with that because apparently he wasn't her type either.

Heaving a sigh, Victor pulled a plush leather chair over to the couch and sat heavily in it. He put his elbows on his knees, clasped his hand together, put his forehead to his fists and closed his eyes. Keeping his emotions from the strong-willed female beside him was going to be a challenge in self-control, in so many ways.

When Kareen opened her eyes again, she felt that kind of immense hunger that made you dizzy even when you were laying down and had your esophagus clamping tight despite the lack of food climbing up it. Her lashes fluttered, a fast beat that did nothing to clear the cloudiness of her vision. She heard a groaning sound and wasn't sure if it came from her or not.

“Hey there, Sunshine. Ready for round two?” The voice was masculine, young, and more teasing than challenging.

“Roan,” a female chided in a sharp snap.

Kareen squinted out, her eyes finding shapes and muted colors. She rubbed a hand over her face and tried again at deciphering the objects around her. A young man came into view, though “man” would be a bit much. More like a grown teen — eighteen or nineteen. His hair was a brown that promised gold strands in sunlight. And those gold strands must have showed a lot if his tanned skin was anything to go by. As he grinned down at her, his teeth were boxy and white, and a dimple dipped at the right side of his mouth.

Taking no heed from whatever female it was that got after him, he continued with his antics. “Hi. Welcome to Fang Manor. I'm Roan and I'll be your dinner this evening.” A hand flew out and slapped the back of his head. His grinned remained in tact.

“Keep that up, Roan, and you can forget about servicing her,” that feminine voice came again.

He looked back over his shoulder and Kareen could barely make out the further-away head of matching brown-gold locks. Roan's frown was more clear than anything else in the room. “Hey, I'm of consenting age.”

A soft snort. “That's a generalization. You're still immature.”

The grin came again, giving Kareen the impression that it couldn't stay gone for too long. The two had a short moment of back-and-forth, which Kareen came to recognize as sibling bickery.

A short spurt of pain had a chill racing across her flesh and clenching in her chest, but Kareen put a cap on it as quick as it came.

“Ronnie, if you'd please.” That voice was already in Kareen's memory registries; Victor. His tone was suggestive and when there was no movement and no voices, Kareen presumed the suggestion was silence. “Thank you. Now Roan, either do what you have volunteered for or you can go back with the rest of the family.”

At the choices Roan's eyes flashed surprise, then a look that was more pleading child than amused teenager came over his face. “No, I can do it, I swear. I'll behave now.” Before he could get an okay from anyone, the boy — Kareen couldn't think of him as anything more than that — knelt at her side and put his wrist right at her mouth. He wore a short-sleeved T so there was no need to roll any material out of the way.

Before Kareen could sputter a groggy “What the hell?” that hunger that was clawing at her gut reared its head again and her fangs shot down, just as hard as the first time. Her short fingernails sunk into naked flesh in a harsh grip as her need had her body responding with instinct. The only difference from before was that this time she had full consciousness of what she was doing, if not control. The heated blood filled her mouth, washing over her tongue in an explosion of sweet, salty metal. Roan was grunting, biting off pained sounds, holding back curses. He'd never done this before, never fed one of the vampires. It was obvious, his “Didn't think it'd hurt this much” giving him away. The others were telling him to breathe through it, don't tense up; that'll only make it hurt more. Like a crash victim who has better luck surviving if they're unconscious through the collision.

Kareen allowed only about a minute to pass before she started fighting herself. She'd been fed before, she could handle pulling back just enough to get a new blood source. But her body wasn't listening. It wanted what it had — all of what it had before it. She argued with herself, as though she had another conscious mind that was answering back. No, if she let him go before killing him, she could take from him another time. That meant more feeding. An extra source. Apparently her body agreed because she was finally able to force herself from the wrist.

There was a moment of shocked silence, long enough that that other consciousness started calling her a liar, demanding payment, blood. Demanding the lifeblood of what it had let go of.

Words were spoken around the room, than another wrist was presented to her. That other consciousness hesitated, only an instant of a second, and then reared up and grabbed hold. This wrist was daintier, softer. The female, Roan's sister Ronnie — if they really were brother and sister as Kareen suspected they were. Didn't matter. Blood was blood, and this one was just as sweet as the other, just as addicting as the previous three. And just as sleep-inducing.

Kareen had no idea how long it was until she opened her eyes again. Could have been seconds, could have been years for all she knew. But she did open her eyes to an empty lounging room. Kareen took in a deep breath—

And huffed it back out like an asthma victim with an attack. Her lungs felt too tight. Then she remembered that vampires didn't breathe, unless they needed to speak. How long would it take her get over something like the natural instinct to breathe?

“About three years.” Kareen's head jerked up to the doorway to catch Victor lifting a negligent shoulder. “At least that's how long it was until I realized I wasn't trying to do it anymore.”

There weren't any emotions on show from Victor but Kareen heard a certain bitterness underneath that oh-so-casual tone. Or maybe a little wistful; somewhat wry. She rubbed the back of her neck, uncomfortable in the face of another's hardship.

Victor took in infamous unneeded breath and let it out hard, as though breaking up the atmosphere he had blanketed the room in. “Anyways, you seem to be gaining a bit more control over yourself with the feedings so when you're ready and willing, we'll take you out to a safe club to find your own anonymous meal. It'll be better for you to learn to hunt on your own early.”

Kareen gave an understanding nod. “Lions push their cubs off cliffs,” she murmured.

Victor gave her an amused grin. “Something like that.”

Kareen rubbed the back of her neck again, this time to try and loosen the muscles there.

His grin slipped and he gave her a frown. “How are you feeling?”

Kareen rolled her head, flexed her shoulders, tensed and un-tensed her legs. “A little sore...a lot stiff.”

A slow series of understanding nods came from Victor. “That's standard. During the change your muscles tense up to the point where they're practically as hard as a diamond. They're still coming down from that stiffness but they won't loosen to the point that you remember as a human. They'll stay a certain degree of tautness.” Which is why a vampire is twice as strong as a human. He didn't have to say it but Kareen gave a gesture that she got the point. His arms went across his chest and he leaned his shoulder back against the closed door. “So are there any more serious hunger pangs I need to know about?”

Kareen tilted her head, as though listening to her body, or maybe the wordless demands of that other consciousness. There was only a mutual grumble from both. “Still hungry, I suppose, but nothing as painful as before.”

Victor nodded sagely. “That would be about right. And just so you, that small ache of hunger never goes away, no matter how much you gorge yourself.” His shoulders lifted carelessly, though there was a trace of tension to the thick muscle. “That's just the way vampires are.”

She nodded at him, remembering somewhat of being told that by Lucian and Maria. They had shared a lot with her, though Kareen was sure that they had held back some of the more unsavory tales of their kind. Either for her safety or for their sake in what she might have thought of them otherwise. Though it wouldn't have mattered to Kareen; she had known who they were to her and nothing would have changed that, but sometimes it's just hard to allow yourself to expose deep, dark aches and have no qualms with your loved ones thinking any less of you. So secrets were kept and Kareen held nothing against them for it. And she had enjoyed some of the things Lucian did expose about vampires. Like their dark wings. Kareen remembered the first time Lucian had taken her back to that lake, pulled his shirt over his head and turned his back to her. At first Kareen had no idea what to say, no clue as to what he was doing. And then she had seen it, a ripple of pale flesh over his shoulder blades. It had taken her a moment to realize that her eyes weren't playing tricks on her, that the bones of his shoulders were shifting, lengthening. Reforming. It was odd at first, like watching a freshly hatched bird flex its wings; that bald, transparent skin moving, blue veins shifting visibly.

And then his skin had started to stubble. Dark pinpoints thickened, engulfing the skin of the twin shapes that had grown. The feathers had been beautiful, even in the darkness of the night. They had been a deep gray, like rainclouds that promised water up to your ankles.

Out on the lake she had thought they were black. Kareen had only known the real color when she and Lucian had gotten back to the house — he had plucked off a single feather and given it to her.

Kareen's brows came down over her eyes. She had treasured that feather despite Lucian's assurance that he had a bundle of them at his beck and call, whenever and wherever. You could shave the things off and the next time he unfurled his wings there'd be a new, fresh, usable set. It hadn't mattered to her if he'd given her a truckload of it, the point was that that first one was a gift, one that she had treasured. And it had been left in that old house of there's... Kareen shook her head. It wasn't like she had been worried about a simple feather at the time she ran her child out of harm's way. Then again, she had also thought she would have kept Lucian as well, so what was one feather to the life of all of them? But now as she thought about it, Kareen had wished she'd had that one bit of memory to hold in her hands, to brush softly against her cheek as she had done when he had handed it to her. It hadn't been particularly soft, that feather. After all, it needed to stand up to stiff wind. But it was still...

She shook her head again, dislodging the memory. There was no point in traipsing down that road anymore. All it would bring was longing and pain. And judging from the twang of hunger pain in her belly, she had plenty of the latter.