“I hope that when I die people say, ‘boy that guy sure owed me a lot of money.’”

- Jack Handy

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When I die, I pray that my pockets are loaded. In this world money is everything and I doubt that’s ever going to change much. And death, well death is run by the same people who ran life so it’ll probably be pretty important there too.

And if they use the barter system instead of bills, then I’ll con someone out of whatever they got, that’s what I’m good at and that’s what I’ll do. For all the times I’ve heard people call me a looser, a thief, or a bum, I’m the one who has what they all want. I’ve got a shit load of money and I know how to get more.

No matter my situation I will be able to get what I want when I want it, and that makes people jealous as hell, because they know that when we’re all dead I’ll be on top, just like I am here.

That is assuming there’s an after life at all.

If there’s not though, then at least I can die knowing I ripped off a shit load of people the night before.