FAIRYLAND ENQUISITOR

STORY OF THE CENTURY!!!

SECRET LETTERS REVEAL TRUTHS ABOUT LOVE OCTAGON (And you thought Love TRIANGLES were complicated!) INVOLVING FAIRY LAND’S MOST FAMOUS CELEBRITIES:

WHY IS GRUMPY SO GRUMPY?

IS SNOW WHITE REALLY PREGNANT WITH THE BIG BAD WOLF’S CHILD?

IS PRINCE CHARMING BISEXUAL?

ANSWERS TO ALL YOUR QUESTIONS AND MORE, THIS EDITION!!!

Page 1

ENQUISITOR HQ, FAIRYTALE CITY, FAIRYLAND- RECENT secret letters obtained by the FAIRYLAND ENQUISITOR have unravelled the secrets of several love connections and rumours we have reported on in recent weeks. In a FAIRYLAND ENQUISITOR EXCLUSIVE, we are finally able to paint for you the WHOLE picture of this twisted fairytale gone horribly WRONG.

As our faithful and brilliant ENQUISITOR readers already know, Rapunzel has been dying of terminal cancer for the last several months. As we EXCLUSIVELY reported in last month’s issue, she has recently lost all her hair, and now resorts to wearing a wig! (See page 17 for Wig Fashions and page 19 for Where to Buy Rapunzel’s Wig) And because of this, Prince Charming left her for Snow White! Well, have we got NEWS for you! As we suspected in our previous issue, Snow White had an affair with The Big Bad Wolf after discovering that Prince Charming had had a previous marriage to Cinderella, or should we say, CinderTRANSGENDERella! That‘s right readers, as we reported EXCLUSIVELY last year, Cinderella has nearly fully completed her sex-change, and is now CinderFELLA. Of course, Prince Charming left her, I mean him, and tried to hide the embarrassing divorce, but only the ENQUISITOR was able to discover the TRUTH! And now we bring you the new truth- Snow White did have the affair with The Big Bad Wolf, and is PREGNANT with his child!

As our stylish and handsome ENQUISITOR readers already know, The Big Bad Wolf is currently in prison pending charges for SIX counts of MURDER in the FIRST DEGREE and CANNIBALISM relating to the mysterious and suspicious disappearances of Little Red Riding Hood, her grandmother, The Huntsman, and The Three Little Pigs, all of whom last seen talking to The Big Bad Wolf. (See full extent of Big Bad Wolf’s charges and read the details of the gruesome accusations on page 11). Well, according to secret letters obtained EXCLUSIVELY by the ENQUISITOR, Snow White did indeed visit The Big Bad Wolf in prison on a conjugal- SEX!-visit! And from this visit, she has gotten PREGNANT! She took a pregnancy test last night and found out tomorrow, according to a source close to Snow White. (See page 32 for speculation on what the baby will look like, and page 33 for Should Snow White be Arrested for Bestiality?)

In yet another twist of this twisted tale, the ENQUISITOR has learned that Prince Charming, upon learning of Snow White’s initial affair with The Big Bad Wolf, left their castle to stay with a ’friend’. But we know they aren’t JUST friends- Prince Charming and the former Hunchback of Notre Dame, the Quarterback of Notre Dame, star Quarterback for the Chicago Bears are actually having a HOMOSEXUAL affair! The two were spotted together on the beach last week, shirtless and swimming! “Prince Charming is devastated by the betrayal of Snow White, and so soon after his embarrassing divorce to that *Removed by Editor*, so he needs someone to be close to right now. I just didn’t realize how close him and his male friend, the Quarterback, would get. I never would have thought Prince Charming would turn out bisexual!” A friend close to the pair tells the ENQUISITOR. (See page 41 for the shocking explanations as to what exactly homosexuals and bisexuals are- PARENTAL WARNING: disturbing and not for children or the faint hearted to read!)

As our faithful readers already know, last year the HUNCHback of Notre Dame got PLASTIC SURGERY to become the dashing Quarterback of Notre Dame for the Chicago Bears. But does Prince Charming know what our readers know, about the recent SCANDAL involving Goldie Locks And The Chicago Bears? Does he know that his MALE lover was involved in a wild weekend with Goldie Locks, involving an obscene amount of porridge, a burlesquely inflatable bed, and resulting in tremendous amounts of broken chairs? (See page 57 for the account of what happened in that wild weekend, and who got away without charges!)

According to a source close to Goldie Locks, she still feels the emotional scars of the recent scandal, and has been having very intimate relations with Grumpy of the Seven Dwarves after his long shifts at the Gem Mine (see page 39 for speculation on who started that ’Hi, Hoe’ song, and WHO it refers to!) However, the ENQUISITOR has discovered in the secret papers which were EXCLUSIVELY obtained by the ENQUISITOR that Grumpy cannot be fully satisfied by Goldie Locks, and is ACTUALLY grumpy because his only love is dying of cancer… RAPUNZEL!!!

(See next page for a simplified web of the eight Celebrities involved in this TWISTED Love OCTAGON to make sense of how they all connect)