Author's Note: R&R, please! :D Weeeeeeee! :)

Chapter 1

Ah, Springvalley High.

There’s nothing more beautiful, isn’t there? I mean, yeah, the hallways are kind of smelly and dirty, and the comfort room stalls are full of vandals, and the food in the cafeteria is so darn horrible (and that’s why most of us—quote, Springvalley High is populated by one thousand, two-hundred and seventy-nine students—carry brown paper-bagged lunches.)

But, still.

This is where I first met Derek Sanverley, the hottest guy in town. The most popular boy in school, and the captain of the basketball team.

And, okay, we didn’t actually meet here, but, since elementary. But he barely noticed me, until I went from a total chickenhead (which, I still am), to somebody four years ago. And also, this is where I started to have plenty of friends, learned to apply makeup on, and hot to, er, make out. Ahem.

But that’s not the point.

Because, yes, I love my alma mater. But how can I love it now, when my boyfriend has just dumped me, like, five minutes ago, in the cafeteria where every student is present???

Tell me, please, WHY did Derek Sanverley HAVE TO DO THAT???

I love him. I really do. But right now, loving is so not on my mind. It’s total revenge. Seriously. And you know why I am starting to feel negative vibes about this school? Because this is where Derek Sanverley and I hooked up four years ago, and promised to each other that we would share great memories here—which, quite frankly, is true—and graduate together and never let go of one another. I know. It’s so cheesy. Well, NOW, it is.

And we will be graduating in approximately twelve days.

This stinks. Love stinks.

And now, I am sitting at me and my friends’ table, not so very far away from my now-ex-boyfriend-who-dumped-me-five-minutes-ago-and-counting, who is two tables down from ours. Who, not to mention, is chatting with his fellow basketball teammates—except for Brian Johnson, who is sitting with us, because his girlfriend is here—animatedly, like nothing even happened, like, right now, ten minutes ago!

Seriously, I cannot believe Derek Sanverley broke up with me.

WHY? Because: “I think that we are better off as friends, Lizzie. I truly came to realize that now” and “Yes, we have plenty in common, babe. But I think that I am not in love with you anymore. Love in Basketball: Relations in Love Life and Love for Basketball Unfolded helped me realize it a lot.” And he patted my hand, gave me his most charming smile (that would usually make my knees turn to jelly), and walked back to his table, me gaping, the whole entire Springvalley High in complete in utter shock and silence, them gaping, and then, the buzzing started.

I still love Derek. I really do. But right now, I want to kill him. In a very not-so-violent-way, though.

Still.

And until now, the whole cafeteria is still abuzz with the Lizzie Charltone and Derek Sanverley break-up. Which, let me just remind you, is clearly embarrassing? It’s ON THE SPOT!

And a guy shouldn’t be the one breaking up with the girl. Seriously. It should be the girl who ought to be breaking up with the guy. Not topsy-turvy! What is wrong with the world right now? God, I can’t stop glancing in Derek’s way. I really want to stab his pretty face with my spork, right this second.

He’s not even sad! He’s not even having second thoughts if what he just did to me—fifteen minutes ago, and counting!—was the right thing! I personally think that what he did to me was the WRONG THING. I mean, REALLY, how could he do this to me?

AND WHY IS HE EVEN FOLLOWING THAT STUPID BOOK HE BOUGHT??!

Oh, wait. I got him that stupid book.

Why did I do that?

Well, it’s because I though that, since basketball is related to the book, I bought it. I am such a blithering idiot for not reading the synopsis and the contents of the book. For a fan of books, and a complete book/library dork, and a total fan of Historical/Regency/Contemporary romances, I sure am stupid as to not read the darn book.

So, technically, it’s my fault he’s broken-up with me.

BUT I DIDN’T MEAN TO!

I should’ve burned that book when I had the chance.

It wasn’t even his birthday! And as the good girlfriend that I am (WAS), I still bought him a present to show my love for him. Way to go, me. Yey!

This is horrible.

I am horrible.

My EX-boyfriend just broke up with me, just because a stupid book said so! I swear, that book is the Uncle Sam of basketball. It’s totally brainwashing him! Can he not see that? And who would be so STUPID, as to actually fall for whatever is written in it? Oh, no one, in particular. Just my brainwashed EX-boyfriend, that’s all!!!

I look at his table, and I see Derek using plenty of hand gestures while he’s talking. If I ever find out that he’s got a new girlfriend in three days, I am literally going to poke his eyes out with my spork, that I am tapping on the table hard, right this instant. This can’t be happening! But it is. It’s official. Derek Sanverley and I are over. And I didn’t have a say in this! Why??? Oh, God. I hope he doesn’t fall in love with his book.

Hey, it could happen! Since, he’s following everything it says in it. It might even say, “Fall in love with me, minion!” and Derek would go with the flow.

I guess that’d be okay than a human girlfriend…

WHAT AM I THINKING???

I am so not myself.

Well, what girl would, if she knew that her boyfriend—EX, at that—dumped her, because he’s falling in love with a book?

Okay, so not literally falling in love with the book, Love in Basketball: Relations with Love Life and Love for Basketball Unfolded. But actually FOLLOWING it. And that is not normal, let me tell you that.

“Lizzie,” my best friend Jenna, says.

I turn my gaze away from Derek (for a while), and look at Jenna Higgins’s pretty face. She always likes to tie her hair up, and now she has two chopsticks stabbed in her light brown hair. “What?”

“Are you okay?” she asks, her lips pouting. “I mean, with the Thing?” And that “Thing”, is my break-up with Derek (who is still looking like he’s having a spectacular time, while I’m all depressed and miserable.)

“Oh, yeah,” I say. “I’m totally fine. Totally, totally, fine. I’m great! Really, really great.” And I smile fakely. God, I am such a liar.

Jenna tends to lie most of the time, too. And God only knows how many lies she’s told than I have.

But, still.

Besides, we’re used to her. And you’ll even know if she’s lying. She starts to sneeze. Literally. While I, on the other hand, doesn’t have anything that will prove I am lying. Well, guilt is one. But, that’s all.

“Jenna-a-a,” I cry. “I am really fine!” Another lie. “I mean, yeah, Derek broke up with me and all, and of course I’m feeling a little hurt, but I’ll be fine.” Another lie again. I am not “a little” hurt. I am really, really, really hurt. Haven't you noticed? I’m getting crazy with my thoughts here!

“Um, okay. If you say so…” Jenna says. But I know that she’s itching to ask me again if I’m really okay. I will not cope up with this anymore, and so I just take a bite of my burger that Dad made for me. My dad is the coolest chef on the planet. An at-home chef, though. Meaning, he doesn’t have a restaurant. I probe him to open up a restaurant all the time, but all he says, every time I ask him, is, “Starting a restaurant is for chums, kiddo. I enjoy making my family my food.”

And so, that’s that.

I know that I said I’m fine, but, obviously, I am so not okay. And I could tell that everybody at our table—and the whole Springvalley High—knows it, too.

“Why did he just DO that? Can he do that? I don’t think he can. This can’t be right!” I exclaim all of a sudden. Everyone’s head at our table swivel around to look at me, except for Brianna van der Carlson and Brian Johnson, who are mauling each other, where everyone can see them eating each other up, but they don’t care. And, ew, talk about P.D.A. and them, who just ate burgers and stuff—well, except Brianna, since she’s on a strict diet, so all she eats is salad, but whatever—and didn’t even brush their teeth after having their lunch, and now, they're sucking each other’s faces.

Not that I care about that, because Derek and I used to make out behind the bleachers at the school field. I am just bitter right now, that’s all. Derek. God, how I hate that name, now.

“Because he said that he’s not in love with you anymore, sweetie,” Tyrone MacFayden, who is wearing black skinny jeans—that fit him so snugly, super perfect muscles on his limbs are showing from the fabric. Which is weird, because Tyrone’s gay—a blue T-shirt that says I AM ONE HOT SALSA, AY CARAMBA! As I’ve said, he is gay, and he rocks. But right now, his face is in a frown. He is really good-looking. Like a total twin brother—like a sister, actually—of Kevin Zegers (only, he’s gay, so his hair is dark brown with honey highlights. I know. It’s so sad). Too bad he’s not into girls.

I sigh. I don’t even want to hear what he just said about Derek not loving me anymore.

“I think that that is a load of bull,” my super smart friend, who has an I.Q. of one hundred and seventy-two, says. My I.Q. is just average (or a little lower than that, but who cares???), while Thea Wilson is Springvalley High’s female Einstein. Thea is mostly sticking her nose in her books of major subjects all the time, and I truly believe that she’s inhaling all the contents of knowledge in it. Oh, and she rarely laughs or smiles. So when she grows old, she’ll have major frown lines etched on her super gorgeous face. Thea’s the most mature of us all, and is the smartest girl in the whole entire universe.

I look at her and roll my eyes. But she has a point, that’s for sure. Thea rolls her eyes back at me too, and she pushes her eyeglasses, that’s sliding down her nose, with a forefinger, and continues eating her baloney sandwich, while reading A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking.

I opened that book one time, and I swore that if I ever lay my eyes on the contents of that book, I would burn it.

Just like what I’m thinking about doing to Derek’s stupid book.

ANYway, who would even want to read A Brief History of Time??? I saw Stephen Hawking—without a body, just a robotic one with a little wheel. So, he looked like a head with hair and glasses and a bow tie, and a body of a pole with one tiny wheel as its foot (not feet)—on the cartoon years ago, which is Dexter’s Laboratory, back when I was little. Why would Thea read a book that’s so hideously brain-aching? Apparently, she likes it.

“Too bad he broke up with you,” Brianna says, after getting her face out of Brian’s. “He’s hot.”

“Hey!” Brian complains, looking hurt.

“What?” Brianna says, shrugging. “I’m just saying. But you're totally hotter.”

And that makes Brian smile. Brianna and Brian are totally hot and a beautiful couple. Literally. Both blonde and tall, and great-looking. And people love their names, since both their names start with Brian in it. And the reason why Brian looked pretty hurt a while ago, was because Brianna’s ex is my now-ex-boyfriend. It’s cool that Brianna and I are friends. She’s a horrible enemy if you messed with her. She’s the most popular girl in school, on account of being super hot, and the cheerleading captain of the Springvalley High Chipmunks.

I know. CHIPMUNKS, for chrissake.

“Don’t worry, Lizzie,” Brian says, looking at me with his gorgeous brown eyes. “You’ll soon get over him.” Seriously, Brianna’s so lucky she has Brian.

“Thanks,” I say, smiling a little. Brian Johnson is Derek’s teammate. And I can’t help but feel even more depressed and miserable, since he’s close with my now-ex-boyfriend-who-dumped-me-at-the-school-cafeteria-in-front-of-everyone-which-is-so-horrifyingly-humiliating-in-so-many-ways-and-now-I-feel-so-depressed-because-of-it.

Jeez.

“Yeah, Lizzie girl,” Tyrone adds cheerfully. “You’ll get over that chunk of Greek god-like hobo,” And he gives me a wink that is so an imitation of Paris Hilton’s wink.

I seriously want to bang my head on the table, where gums are under it for, like, years now. The class president should totally do something about this. Students of Springvalley High have been sticking gum under it since 1941!!! Principal Clark has been replacing tables for the past four years, but still, the students stick gum under it, making her give up trying.

“Lizzie—” Jenna begins to say, but I cut her off with a “I’m okay! I’M FINE! REALLY! STOP TALKING ABOUT THE BREAK UP!!!”

And I notice that everyone is standing and leaving the cafeteria and moving on to their next class. Jenna and the others look at me like I’m a crazy person, or something.

And I won’t even argue with them on that one.

“Um,” Jenna says, pursing her lips after, and then, “I’m just going to tell you that it’s time for our next class.”

I blink at her for a trillion times, and then I begin to nod and say, “Oh. Right. Okay. Um. Let’s go.”

I am such a dork sometimes.