A/N: still looking for a title. would love it if you helped me out :) any suggestions on how to make this better would be nice!! thanks. harsheness please. i don't mind

Three weeks later, the air was crisp and summer’s lilacs were in full bloom. Sunflowers and cornfields stained the small towns’ streets and countryside, while I never knew much of it. My nearly permanent home since early June was that hospital. I was at the bedside everyday. Most of those days I was crying; it was hard seeing her like that.

Kait’s face was pale, her body bandaged in all sorts of ways, and her glued shut. I missed the dark, skylight eyes that used to bring joy into my day, and I needed her to be her clumsy self and tell me that she wasn’t doing anything stupid.

“Kaitlyn Jane Moore Ambrose,” I faked a laugh to myself, hoping I could bring cheer into the room. Failed. All that did was make me want to cry some more. The truth was that I loved this girl, but doctors thought she’d never wake up from her coma. A one in a million chance they’d told me; the odds were stacked against me, and I had to give up on this chapter of my life.

“Bye, Kait. I’ll see you soon,” I whispered to myself. Standing up, I sighed, leaned over the white bed, and kissed her forehead.

The next day, I had to fight my urge to go see her. In the pit of my stomach, I knew I should go see her, and spend time with her, but college was only in a few months; I had to prepare, pack up cloths, and try to find a new way of having fun in the prime of life.

The sun was high in the sky when I acquired the courage to step out of my house. Noon. The rumble in my stomach didn’t tell me I was hungry, but was the feeling I had when I woke up in the morning, knowing my blood was the reason for Kaitlyn’s coma.

“Hey Tyler!” the familiar voice of hate and anger came from across the wide yard. Living in the country was never the best idea, but it provided me with about half an acre to practice baseball and have more than a cat for a pet. The yard spread out far past the cemented driveway, into trees and fields of unknown. I wasn’t too big on the unknown.

Ignoring the face that looked too similar to mine, I pulled keys out of my pocket and pushed the unlock button.

“Ty, you can’t ignore me forever you know!” Zach’s greased almost black hair appeared beside my car, holding open the driver’s door. “I’m still your bro, and I said I’m sorry.”

I took a deep breath, I hadn’t talked to him since the night he hit Kait. It wasn’t so much that I cared about his feelings, but I cared that if Kaitlyn woke up, she’d be upset to know my kind heart was sent to Hell on her account.

“Fer real...” he shook his head in disbelief as he raised one eyebrow. He dressed like he’d lived in New York for several years: baggy jeans, that revealed most of his boxers, and plain white t-shirts—in my opinion, he looked ridiculous. “You can’t just not talk to me.”

He was mad at me.

“The statement of a wise man?” I asked, gripping the steering wheel and gritting my teeth.

Not understanding, he smiled wide. Smiling was his way of saying ‘yes, I know what you just said, but not really’. “What that supposed to mean?” he questioned, leaning his head to my level.

Bitterness dripped from my tongue as I continued to speak, “Means you’re just the brightest crayon in the box.” He wasn’t catching on to the sarcasm. No one had ever told him off before, and no one ever said bad things to his face; Zach was a dope who had no idea what the real world was like, even though he was three years older than me.

“Neon yellow,” he laughed, punching my shoulder lightly. “That’s me.”

“You dim-witted imbecile,” my knuckled turned white as I let go and jumped out at him. “You are the reason my life has been like the fires in the deepest parts of hell!” I screamed, holding the neck of his shirt and pushing him back. “You hit her because you were drinking, and like an idiot, you drove home instead of calling me! Because every other time it would’ve been okay!”

Speechless, Zach didn’t try to fight back; instead he stared in awe at me. I’d become a monster—a beast—breathing heavy and letting my anger erupt on the closest object available.

Now my hands ached so I threw him away from me. I took in a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. “Zach, you never know when to let go, or to stop. You keep pushing the boundaries. One day Mom and Dad aren’t going to be there to help you pay for the barriers to be built further away.”

As if that were an apology, Zach smiled his clueless grin. “Yeah? And that night, I didn’t call because I knew you were going to purpose to her, Bro.”

The flips in my stomach stopped. I stared at him for a long time, wondering what he was really thinking, before my phone rang.

“Hello, Kasey?” I answered.

“No, it’s Kija. Kait, she’s awake.” Kija was Kaitlyn’s older sister, the one I was going to visit.

“What?” I choked out. I didn’t wait for an answer, I shut the phone—only for it to ring again and again in the car—and drove twenty minutes to the hospital.

At the tall building, I stared up the brick colored stones. Each floor had a dozen windows and each window an off white curtain. Most of those curtains were opened, except the only one I cared about. Kait’s was closed.

Without checking in with the nurse’s—most of whom knew me already—I ran to the elevator. Clicking the button was the first thing I could think about doing, but the metal contraption was disregarding my patience. Forgetting about the elevator and the pregnant couple that was waiting there, my legs moved involuntarily to the stairs. Eight floors up.

“Eight floors,” I muttered taking a deep breath. Baseball championships, countless football wins, and an unlimited supply of basketball trophies didn’t make up for the fact that I hated running.

I began up the stairs quickly, and to my surprise didn’t run out of fuel until the sixth floor. There I saw that an elevator door was open and people were just getting out. Thankful, I sprinted away my last bit of energy and collapsed in the silver box.

“Up... eight.” I huffed.

With a ding, the doors slid open and I jogged to the fifth door on the left. “I can’t thank you enough, doctor.” Kasey, Kait’s only brother, said.

“Yes, thank you.” My body went numb and my ears started to ring. Kaitlyn’s voice sounded like she was a god: all mighty and powerful.

“Hello, Mr. Ambrose,” Dr. Shang had opened the door, and the lumps of his body bounced out of the room. “Nice seeing you finally today.” His smile was genuine as he bowed his head. Pointing in the room, he gave me thumbs up.

Not having to try to smile at him, I thanked the doctor and went into the room. There she was, glorified in the bright lights of the hospital room. She left me smitten, standing in front of the closed door, smiling wide.

Kasey turned to me, his shaved head a result of a major chewing gum accident. His dark eyes looked down, “I don’t think you should be here, yet, Tyler.”

Raising an eyebrow, something inside me fell: my heart. “Wh-why not?” I choked out.

A knock on the door turned all our attention to Kija who was holding two paper bags. “You made it,” she smiled through puffy eyes and haystack hair.

“Why’d you call him?” Kasey stood up, wringing out his hands.

Kija rolled her eyes as she walked toward me to give me the bags. I wasn’t expecting them to be so heavy, so they slipped out of my grip and hit the floor with a thump.

I heard a laugh behind me as the bickering between Kija and Kasey continued: “He would’ve come anyways.” “It still wasn’t right then and there.” “You need to get over it Kase, she’ll remember.”

Remember? I turned to see the laughing Kaitlyn lying behind me, staring at the small group congregated in her small room. But her eyes were different. The sweet midnight blue was somehow faded, rather, misted over, leaving confusion and dread.

“Hey, Kait,” I spoke softly, making sure not to scare her. “Ready to come home with me?” I laughed, knowing she’d love the joke.

“Wait, Tyler!” Kija pushed her bald brother away and turned me around. “You have to know something... in case.”

“What are you talking about?! Who are you?” the soft voice of my beloved sounded like train whistles in the background, right before the victim gets him.

“She doesn’t remember?” tears welled up in my eyes, and my knees felt weak. I slip to the floor and cried once more.