Unknown

All her life she’s been this and she’s been that. She’s never been herself, too afraid to let herself come out for the show. At one time she used to be her own person but people laughed and made fun. She was pushed away and all alone. She learned of fear and pain. She didn’t like to be alone with no one to turn to. She didn’t have any friends, no real family that cared. So she changed herself, into everyone else.

All the things she used to like became something of a distant dream. No one understood, but no one really tried to either. She wasn’t herself any more; not the person we used to know. No one really missed her, for no one really remembered her before. She had never left much of an impression on people. Sadly, people like her rarely do.

Now though she’s alone again. She’s been so many people she’s not sure who she is. Is this her or how about that. Does she like this or maybe that? What’s her name, her favorite color? What does she love? What does she hate? She’s not sure anymore. She has been so many people and liked so many different things. In the end she lost herself, to everyone she wanted to be.

Left alone and in fear of the darkness she became what people wanted her to be. She lost herself and everything she used to know. She studied hard but it never helped. She could not find herself. Her mind and heart are lost and confused. She’s not sure which way to turn. She regrets it now, trying to be everyone else. She wishes that she had just been herself. She knows though that regrets do not change what has already happened. You can not go back and try again, there are no second chances.

She’s this way now and she has to choose, which path she wants to take. Will she work hard and make it on her own even if it means being alone. Will she stop and tell the truth, admit to everyone her lies. She’s afraid of both paths, unsure of what will happen. Who will she hurt in her truths, who will point the finger? What will people say, she’s afraid.

She wants to move forward. She wants to move on, to start again and forget the past. She wants to move past it and never look back. She’s just not sure how to. She’s not sure which way to go. She doesn’t know herself, so she’s lost of what choices to make. What road will get her moving forward? What roads will keep sending her back?

At this moment she’s not too sure. She’s trying be to calm though. She wants to work through this and make it to the other side. Every day she sits here though, every wrong road she takes though. Everything gets her deeper and deeper in the wrong. No matter what she does she can’t figure out where to go or what to do.

She wants to understand, to try and move on. She’s just too lost to try. She needs a map but there is no one around to give one too but even if there was, she’s much to afraid to ask for help. She doesn’t want to be yelled at for being stupid. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone because of her lies. She doesn’t want anything to happen. She’s too afraid to face everyone.

So she hides it all inside and keeps it all to herself. It hurts her in a long run and makes things worse for her. She knows that but still she keeps it all to herself.

She feels it’s too late to try and fix anything. She wants everything to work itself out. Too bad she knows that’s not how the real life works. Things do not always work themselves out; often we have to work and try to make things get better. Like the rest of the world, she knows that she must work to make her future better. She just isn’t sure what to do or who to turn to for help.

Fear, it brings out the worst in people. It creates monsters out of beautiful souls. Fear only works to create more fear, more pain. It’s hard, we all know, facing our fears can be scary and frightening, but it’ll save the soul in a long run. Running away from fear and trying to escape it won’t ever help you or anyone else. It will only serve to make things worse. Face it all, go on and give it a try. No one ever said it will be easy but no one said you couldn’t try.