The Silent Goodbye

I should have been paying more attention. My eyes should have been on the target, not the man. I so did enjoy his company though, his beautiful eyes and dark brown hair, his wondrous personality. He was quite the amazing man in my eyes. I knew he was smarter then he looked and even more cunning. I could only imagine what secrets he held within his eyes.

I wasn’t supposed to be looking at those things. I was supposed to be looking back them. I needed to find out what he was planning. I had to discover why he needed to be at the top so badly. I failed this though. I couldn’t even do something as simple as that. It was something I had done many times before. Gain information and give it to the hirer. What made this time so different? What was it about this man that made me forget my job?

I was foolish and forgot what I was hired to do, his eyes though, his beautiful face, and wonderful voice. Everything about him drew me in. If only I knew why.

The music played softly in the background of the lovely decorated ball room. This was my second attempt. I couldn’t, wouldn’t dare to mess this one up.

He took my hand softly in his and kissed it, his eyes watching me with great, obvious interest. He asked me to dance, which I gratefully accepted. I watched as the smile crossed his features. I could have lost myself right then and there but I kept myself focused on my job. I had to.

I looked up into his eyes as we danced along the floor. I couldn’t read his eyes. My mind was too unfocused. I was too busy trying to stay focused on my job that I couldn’t keep myself focused on what I needed to do. I could have sighed right there and given up on the entire thing if his eyes didn’t hold onto mine so well.

Silly as it was, he was amazing. Everything a woman would look for in a man. In some respect, I was somewhat surprised that he wasn’t married or at least engaged. He wasn’t though. He didn’t seem truly interested in any of the woman he danced, or was seen with. That’s what it seemed like to me anyways.

I had been watching him for quite a while. It was part of the job. When I couldn’t gather all the information I needed from a distance I needed to get closer. This of course led me to this mess now. It wasn’t working out well for me I supposed.

He leaned forward and whispered softly in my ear, telling me of how beautiful I looked this evening. I glanced down for a moment with a soft smile and thanked him. I looked calmly back up at him, both of us silent but not distant. No, we were closer now then we had been before.

I knew this was the most foolish thing of my life. I had never done anything as stupid but this job wasn’t worth it. I couldn’t do this job even if I wanted too. This man’s hold upon my eyes, upon my heart was stronger then anything I had ever felt before. As stupid and foolish as it made me, I knew even I had to face it. The fact of it was that he held my heart and I loved him. I could forget the job in an instant, it wasn’t my problem anyways. It was nothing I had to worry about myself. I only cared about being right here, right now. In this moment, nothing else mattered as much.

He didn’t need to know of my feelings though. I wouldn’t tell him and thus I would tell no one else. Unless he figured it out himself, he would never know and that’s exactly how I wanted it. I liked the idea much better this way.

The music came slowly to an end and we parted, our fingers lingered together for a few moments before parting also. We both went our separate ways without even a word of goodbye. The two of us knew better then to say goodbye. We would see each other again. It was obvious to us. There was no need to speak the lie of goodbye nor was there a reason to say that we needed to state our knowledge. The lack of words said more then enough.

The silent goodbye, just the way I liked it. He knew that.