Fozen Goodbye

I walked through the house looking for her desperately. If only I had realized how upset she had been, how lost she was. My eyes scanned over the bedroom, the baby was not there. She was not sleeping softly in her crib anymore.

The car keys were still on the kitchen table. All of their things were still here, if only I had realized sooner where they had disappeared to. If only I had put two and two together and saw what had always been so obvious.

I walked through the house, looking and searching, but they were no where to be found. My worry was growing as I thought desperately about where they could have gone. Would she really have gotten up and left, taking our child with her. Could she have just walked out like it was nothing? It was snowing; she couldn’t have done such a thing.

My heart draw distant with pain, somehow I had this feeling that she had done something that could not be taken back. I knew somewhere inside that it was too late.

My footsteps echoed in the silent house as I walked down the stairs towards the front door. With each step I became more and more aware of the pain I felt. I knew something had happened. I knew now that it was too late. All I had to do was wait to see it with my own eyes and then I would know for sure.

As I gripped the handle door, it was unlocked. All the clues were becoming clearer, more obvious to my eyes. I opened the door, the white, pure snow falling over the world around me. I scanned the world around me, the car remained snowed in.

The footprints in the snow led into the snow, and laying there I saw them. My precious baby girl snuggled into the arms of her mother, both covered in snow. I knew instantly that there was no hope, it was too late.

The crunch of the snow under my feet as I walked over and knelt down besides them, my eyes filled with the sadness, longing that I felt. I brushed the snow from their frozen faces. I should have listened to her when she said that she needed help. I didn’t though, I had been far to lost in my own pain, my own worry. Now she lay here, lost in a world so far away from me.

She had taken all of my worries away. She came here, taking our daughter and her own life in the blistering cold. She had frozen to death in this place and had set me free. Her life insurance money would go to me; I could pay off all the bills. I would have no more worries, but now all I wanted was her.

What would the bills be without her there? What was this house be needed for if my family would no longer be around? What would I need the car, this house, anything for? If they weren’t here all of this meant nothing.

My life filled with sudden regrets. She always hated it when I worried, I knew that, but still I told her of my worries. I just complained and made things worse. She just wanted everything to fade away. She didn’t want to be the cause of my worries anymore.

She wasn’t now, this was what she knew would happen. In order to set me free, in order for me to be able to go on without worry and died. I hated it; I couldn’t stand knowing that this was my fault. Or so that’s how it painfully felt.

I looked to the heaven above a cried out, the cold winter tears running down my cheeks. It had all be just one big mistake. I wanted to take it all back. I should have reassured her that it would all soon be okay. We would make it through these troubles and she and I wouldn’t have to worry.

All of the hardships would pass and happiness would rain over us like the summer warmth. I didn’t do that though. Instead I expressed how this was so hard. I kept saying of how we would hardly make it to spring with these bills. I never shed any light upon our lives or our family. I got angry with her when she tried to help me think positively.

This ending was obvious all along. I was just too ignorant to see through my own worries to see her pain and suffering. Now I’m left here, it’s too late.