Pieces I Forgot

I left her but something about her still rests within my mind. She seems to haunt me; her words still clear in my mind, the memory, like a constant nagging in the back of my mind. Her words and her face, I can’t seem to forget. All the words she said to me that day, the hurt look across her face.

I’m not sure what I was thinking of why I did it. I wanted to move on and find someone who could give me what I wanted. I wasn’t looking for something serious like she was. I don’t understand why she would want something like that. I guess I never really cared to understand either for I never tried to make sense of it.

Instead of staying I just left without a care to her at all. I thought she would get over quickly but I guess her feelings were stronger then that. Was she actually in love with me or is it the fact that I was just her first love? Does the first cut really hurt the worst as they say or did she really feel something more then I had believed?

Right now I’m not sure what to think or what to do. Should I go back and apologize or just leave her alone to move on. She’ll get over me eventually right and I’ll get over her. That’s how it works isn’t it? We just get over it all and move on with our lives. That’s how I’ve always done things.

This is the first time I’ve felt that’s not quite the case. This time feels like everything is wrong and incorrect. I feel so confused, more then I ever have before. Is this normal? I can’t be sure.

I try to play out life normally, but I’ve found it keeps getting harder. I keep remembering her words and the face she game that that day. It’s like a haunting I can’t escape, like an alarm I can’t turn off, like a movie that keeps on playing. I just wish it would stop. Like driving me mad, I can’t take it anymore. At this rate it’s going to drive me insane.

I ran my fingers through my hair and looked to the side as I did. I was thinking of her too much again. Her memory was like a ghost haunting me and my every move, watching me and reminding me of how much I hurt her. Why can’t I just forget about her? Why am I unable to put her in the back of my mind as I have so many times before? What makes her so different?

After all this time I should have been able to forget about her. I shouldn’t be worrying about it any longer. It’s been far too long. I should be over her by now. What does it matter, she’s not suppose to mean this much. I didn’t have any real feelings for her, did I? No! I didn’t. I’m sure of that. At least I used to be. Now I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on.

She never used to mean so much to me. Her feelings didn’t matter, she didn’t matter but now she’s all I think about. She’s like a nightmare I can’t get over. I can’t seem to erase her memory from my mind, from my heart. She shouldn’t mean anything to me. She doesn’t matter so why am I haunted like this? She should be just like any other girl. She is just like any other girl, so why isn’t this turning out like it has so many times before?

I don’t understand what’s so different this time. I wasn’t serious about her but she’s still all I think about, all I dream about. I can’t move on and find someone else this way. For as long as I think and dream about her I can’t find someone else, someone who will give me what I want. I can’t move past her though.

Many times now I have considered going over to speak with her but I stop in hesitation, almost in fear of what may happen. What if this only gets worse? What if she makes this worse? What if I ended up going back with her again? No, I don’t want that. I’m looking to move on and find someone else, someone who isn’t like her but I can’t. It’s not that easy anymore and I don’t understand why. When did everything change so much and become so horribly confusing? So difficult,

I foudn this somewhat hard to work on. The original, or the first part of this story, Piece of You was the base and to me the complete concept. Upon posting it up though, I receieved messages and DMs via Twitter asking for a continueation. Well, this continueation or second part was never really planned so I wasn't sure how to move with the story.

With help from a friend though we decided to have him go through something similar to what the girl in Piece of You was going through. I suppose it didn't turn out to horribly, not that I am completely pleased with this piece of work. It took me about two days to complete and usualy my writing takes fifteen to thirty minutes tops. This though was much harder though I am not completely sure why. I just found it difficult to work on.

In closing I do hope that you enjoyed it more then I enjoyed writing it. I hope that it didn't come out too horribly.