"My Testimony"

When I was five years old I professed to be saved here at Independent Baptist Chruch. I don't remember what Pastor Cree preached, nor the exact date, but I do remember praying with Mrs. Creed (Pastor's wife) and my mother for salvation, and later on, when it was announced, Pastor asking if I wanted to be baptised. I said no because at the time I was afraid of water, and I wouldn't be baptized until I was around fifteen. Anyways, for many years, growing up on the mission field, I just went through life, fairly mediocre spiritually. Then when I hit my puberty years, I got involed in some bad things; a wrong, emotionally-based relationship, pornography, rock music (primarily so-called 'Christian' rock), and developed a bad attitude towards my parents, all behind thier backs. At some point my Dad found out the music I was listening to, but I still continued to do so eithout their knowledge. After a while I was convicted to stop because I knew it displeased them and I was being disobedient. Then I found out through a Christian website exactly why rock music is evil, and was convicted that it was wrong to listen to it, be it 'Christian' or not.

A while later I listened to a sermon by Paul Washer. He was preaching on the fact that, despite so many people that answer altar calls for salvation, afterwards there is no true change in their life, and how that if a person is truely saved, there is a change, a distinct change. As I thought about what he said, I began to question whether I was truely saved when I was five. I wondered, if I was really saved, why did I act the way I did during my teen years? Why did I get involved in all those worldly things? The more I thought about it, the more I doubted, the more I wasn't sure. For a few days I struggled not knowing, it terrified me not knowing. I couple days went by, and I couldn't stand not knowing anymore, so I knelt on the floor of my bedroom, and prayed to God that He would save my soul, and that I repent of my sin. After that, I was confidant that I am saved, though at times I am not exactly sure whether I was saved at five, and backslided, or that I made a false profession, and was saved in my teenage years.

I do know that though I am saved, I am not sinless, not that that is an excuse or liscence to commit sin. But I have a daily struggle with my flesh, to chose God's will over my own, and I do not always make the right decisions. Around sixten years old I listened to a teaching on biblical sexual prohibitions, one of which was self-gratification. Before that I didn't know that it was a sin, but after I did, I began struggling with it, which I hadn't before I knew. Since then it has been a daily fight against my flesh to not give into it's lusts. I cannot say I have overcome every temptation, but I have found the ministry of Reformers Unanimous to be a help in that right, in keeping me focused on doing right things, in keeping me busy in doing right, and out of wrong. I pray that God, if it be His will, would use this testimony to help others. Thank you.

• 09/07/16 •