Lamentations of a Phoenix

Alas, 500 years is coming to an end. It's not a matter of time now. My flaming purple-red tails are already losing their warmth. The brilliance of my golden feathers is already fading. Ah, I can feel the coldness seeping into my body, into my flesh and bones. This feeling, again, I'm very much aware of it. When's the last time I felt this? Yeah, I remember, it's half a millennium ago, when I died, and again, I'm falling into this feeling ago… the feeling of death. After beign reborn, again, I am dying.

Fumy it is… Should I cal lthis ability a gift or a curse? Living endlessly, living for eternity is quite happy, yet, it's also tiresome. I just wish that I'll be able to do something else, and not only this never-endign cycle of death and rebirth. I'm tired watching those beings — those who call themselves humans in that bluish earth — from this brilliant warm, yet dead place of mine. It seems that they're happy although they experience dying. What do they think about death? I see that they fear it, but other than that, why is it that they seem to be happy about it, almost thankful? What is in their death that makes them contented?

Suddenly, I have this outrageous idea… Maybe, it is better if I'll see for my self, if I'll learn for my self, if I'll experience for my self. Very well, I'll go and search for that knowledge.

The time has come. I can't see anything wrong in trying this idea; I'm dying anyway and will soon be reborn. I'll go to their world, to the human world… and experience living the life destined for them.

For the last time, I stretch my wings, which already started losing their feathers, and fly away from this beautiful yet lonely place of mine. I can feel the cold wind warming as it breezes through me. Fro ma distance, I can see the portal's opening where upon entering, a brilliant sea of red light greets me by pulsating melodiously — just like the stars as they twinkle I nthe blackness of the night, just like my heart, as it throbs rhythmically in my chest.

My eyes have started to dim by the time I reach the end of that long eay. I still beat my wings and enter the dimly lit human world. The dark sky greets me with silence while the sea below me roars angrily. The wind is blowing quite harshly tonight, looks like a storm is coming. I continue my flight. I don;'t have much time. I can already feel my body weakening.

From the zenith, I can see a sliver of gray… the shore. At last, I'll be reaching the land anytime now.

I'm already circling the area but still, I can't see where I'll have to go. Countless lightnings has already torn the sky. Many of them have forked their way to touch the sandhills and the shore. I don't have much time, my life is ebbing away.

I fly blindly and hit a coconut tree, where I leave a burnt mark as I fall half-conscious on the sandy ground. Five forked-lightnings etch the night sky again and the wind howled. There's no more time, I close my eyes..

It's cold… I' wet… and there's someone out there… someone calling… someone screaming in pain… the voice sounds so near… and somehow sweet.

I open my eyes and all the raindrops come blinding my sight, and there, right straight from where I am is a nipa hut. I can hear the anguished voice in there.

I force myself to stand, and once more open my wings to fly. Closer. Then i learn what the source of the commotion is. Aha! So that's it. The woman is in labor. The woman is giving birth. I smile. Finally, I've found the one.

Then suddenly, it arrives. My heart feels like it is being punched; it's beating already erratic. The end is coming.

I peep again. I have to go now, before that child is born.

My world is dimming; I can no longer see. It's difficult to breathe, and my chest is heaving, my heart fibrillating.

One by one, my feathers started to fall, piling on the ground beneath me.

I look at the woman one last time. Madame, please forgive me, for I shall de\well in your child's spirit for the rest of her life…

And all goes black... The last feather I drop combusts, the reason why my feathers burst into flames just at the right time I fall into my own funeral pyre.

And the fire glowed beautifully, sparkling splendidly…