“OFFICER DANIEL

NEW ASSIGNMENT: BREAK IN LOCAL KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUT SHOPS”

I sighed as I glared at the bold lettered print worth of assignment in front of me. My superior, Police Chief Hawkins, must really have it out for me now. This had to be my second (or was that third) worst day in my life. At least the first one wasn’t too bad. I mean, stopping in the middle of a high speed chase to get doughnuts isn’t all that bad at all. The guy wound up losing his transmission in his car so I think it was all good.

“I heard you got assigned the break in cases at Krispy Kreme.” I heard my buddy (and major pain in my ass) Officer Biggs snicker from behind me. I hunkered down and slowly turned around, sending my worse “I-hate-you-so-I-hope-you-burn-in-hell-from-this-look” glare. He laughed out loud, his beer belly wiggling disgustingly in my face.

“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled and he laughed even more at my misery. God, why couldn’t all the guys let it go about me stopping like that?

“Good luck with that. I heard if you blow it, Chief is firing your lazy butt.” He said, shrugging his shoulders at me with a look of boredom. My eyes widened; was chief really that mad at me?

“Thanks for the heads up,” I said, standing up and grabbing my badge and things before quickly pushing past Biggs. I could hear his laughter follow me all the way out of the building as I hurried to my cruiser.

I pulled up to the first Krispy Kreme and nearly drooled even though all the yellow “CAUTION” tape surrounded the place. I could smell all the yummy goodness that which I call doughnuts and I inhaled deeply.

“Bad officer!” I told myself, slapping my left cheek rather hard. I shook it out a second later and looked around to see who all was there. After seeing no one a whole two minutes after I looked, I smiled. Maybe taking this case wasn’t all that bad of an idea! I grinned as I heard my stomach growl. I skipped lunch earlier so I could use a little work snack.

I went around to the front door and peeked inside. The display cases were full.. Wait a second! I slapped on a pair of gloves and hurried into the building.

“The thief only stole doughnuts!” I was stunned. I’ve heard of thieves taking tampons and ladies underwear, but I’ve never, ever heard of a thief or thieves stealing doughnuts. I glared at the broken display case I stood in front of. Those thieves were going to pay for stealing MY doughnuts!

“Oh man!” I groaned, hanging my head. “They stole my favorite kind, too!”

At that point I hurried to the second Krispy Kreme doughnut shop. I couldn’t be contained as I barreled through downtown to reach the other store. I gripped the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were throbbing and turned a deathly shade of white. But I didn’t care! I had to save my doughnuts!

I got to the store in record time. Normally, it takes me thirty minutes to get from one shop to the other. Today, it was a total of 8.90 minutes. Oh yeah, new record for me! I did my little boogie dance in the car but it did not last long. The same yellow tape guarded the door and I nearly howled as I could see inside the building.

“NO!” I shrieked, seeing the same exact display case shattered. Once again, my favorite doughnuts were stolen! I hung my head in the cruiser and started to bang it on the hard steering wheel. As I continued my assault on my poor, battered forehead my radio crackled and I heard faint words of doughnut shop in process of being robbed.

“I’ll save you my precious doughnuts!” I jumped up in the car, banging my head on the low ceiling. Then, slamming the car in reverse, I sped out of the parking lot to the last Krispy Kreme shop. I was going to save my doughnuts one way or the other and I’d be damned if I let the thief get them again!

I flew across town and found the doughnut nabbing in the process. I jumped out of the car, my fat and stubby legs getting stuck for a moment before screaming,

“Back away from the doughnuts or I shoot!” I shouted, stopping the thief straight in his tracks. He slowly turned around, his hands raised but still clutched around my precious doughnuts. I growled low in my throat and lunged forward.

“Give me back my doughnuts!” I screamed as the guy scrambled out of my way. My fat butt slid forward where he was standing before I gained my footing and turned around, yanking out my gun in the process.

“Drop them or I shoot!” I shouted again, getting ready to squeeze the trigger of the gun I held. The guy’s eyes were wide enough so I could see the white, bloodshot gaze from behind the black mask he wore. I squeezed the trigger harder when the doughnuts weren’t dropped from his hands.

“Aw! Come on man! I’m starvin’!” he shouted, his eyes darting back and forth between me and the doughnuts he held.

“Drop them!” I shouted.

“No!” he shouted back, and he squealed as I pulled the trigger.

I gaped in surprise when bullets didn’t come out but a stream of water did instead. What kind of a gun is this! I shouted in outrage before suddenly feeling myself being yanked through a black hole. A moment later I opened my eyes and found myself surrounding by my co-workers at my desk, all laughing at me and holding doughnuts right before my face.