A/N: "What would really happen if a farm girl found out she was secretly a dethroned princess with mystical powers?" I asked myself one day. Inspired by limyaael's many rants

I had just finished milking the cow and was just coming out of the barn when he rode up, a sight to see with every bit of him but his head covered in oversized shining metal. He should really cover up his head; otherwise, one carefully aimed arrow would take him out, I thought, but I wasn’t going to say anything like that out loud. I bit my lower lip to keep from laughing at him as he nearly fell off his horse, obviously unaccustomed to the weight of his armor.

“Hello,” I greeted him politely once I was sure I could speak without giggling. “Can I help you, sir?”

“You are Lady Loria Inglewood, am I right?” he asked in as gallant a voice as he could muster – too bad the dust from the road caught in his throat and made him cough in the middle of my name.

“Yes I am,” I replied. I wasn’t going to bother asking why he’d added “Lady” – knights had their ways, and I wasn’t about to question something I didn’t much care about. “And who are you, sir?”

He drew himself up to his fullest height, barely an inch above my 5 and a half feet. “I am Sir Adrian the Courteous.” As he said this he attempted a low bow, but the armor scraped against itself with such a protesting screech that he gave up quickly.

“And what brings you here, Sir Adrian?”

“The Courteous,” he added quickly, then looked at me expectantly.

I shifted my weight; the pail of milk I was carrying was kind of heavy, and I was impatient for this knight to state his business and be on his way. “Sir Adrian the Courteous,” I amended.

“Why, you, my dear sweet Princess Loria!” he exclaimed grandly. He reached a hand for one of mine, only realizing that both of my hands were carrying the pail after he had already managed to get into a kneeling position.

As annoying as he was, I almost felt kind of sorry for him, so I set the pail down and offered him my hand. He kissed it, as I’d expected, and tried to hide his disgust when he realized how dirty it was. Living on a farm will do that to a girl, I mentally told him.

“What do you mean, ‘Princess’?” I asked.

“Exactly what I say,” he replied. “You are the great and wonderful long lost Princess Tamithia, who – ”

“But I’m Loria.”

He looked up at me in confusion, still kneeling as though he didn’t want to go through all the difficulty of standing just yet. “But… Well… I suppose your foster parents renamed you… Yes, of course they did! Because you are the lost princess who is the true heir to the throne!”

“Right. And just how do you know this?”

“Because of a prophecy, of course! It stated that the true heir, a young women with hair as fair as the sun,” well, I had noticed that my hair never seemed to get very dirty no matter how little I washed it, “would be found on a farm on her sixteenth birthday. It is your sixteenth birthday, Your Highness, is it not?”

So it was. I looked him over, searching for any hint of laughter or any sign that he was sent here for a prank, but he seemed entirely sincere. Whether it was true or not, he really believed what he said. “So… why are you here?”

“I am the one chosen by destiny to help restore you to your proper place on the throne!”

I sighed. “Look, why don’t you just explain from the beginning?”

He struggled to his feet, ignoring my offer to help him. When he finally got up, he cleared his throat, as though preparing for a long story. “Sixteen years ago, on a dark stormy night – ”

I could see where that was going. “No, nevermind, don’t explain,” I interrupted. “Sum it up instead.”

He looked at me in complete bewilderment, as if such a request was beyond his understanding. Finally he looked at the ground, looked up, then back at me and started again. “Er… There was a rebellion sixteen years ago, and to save you, your parents put you in a basket and sent you down the river so the rebels couldn’t get you.”

“And did they not think about possible holes in the basket, causing me to drown, or the fact that I could’ve washed up away from people and been eaten by a wolf?”

He just stared at me. I think I was breaking down his entire perception of reality. “Look,” I said with a sigh, shifting my weight and crossing my arms. “I don’t really want to be a princess. I’m happy with my life here.”

“But what of the unjustified rebels who need to be removed from the throne with all haste?”

“Why?” I asked. “They’re doing a perfectly good job of things as it is. The land’s thriving, they aren’t demanding absurd taxes, people are happy, what’s the problem?”

“But… But it’s… wrong,” he said, struggling to get the words out. “They shouldn’t be ruling. You should!”

“But I don’t even know the first thing about ruling over people!” I snapped. I was really starting to lose my patience with this guy. “Besides, how am I supposed to take on their royal army by myself?”

“You will not be by yourself,” he answered. “Righteous royalty is never alone. Besides, you have your powers of persuasion.”

“My what?” It was my turn to be confused, and by the smug smirk that flashed across his face, I could tell he was enjoying if.

“All members of the true royal family have them,” he answered confidently. “It is a power you learn instantly upon your sixteenth birthday. It allows you to persuade people to do what you wish, and it is the key to taking back the throne.”

“Really?” I asked, interested now. I’d felt that something was different when I woke up this morning, but I’d figured it was just gas. “So, if I really had this power, then I could, say… make you leave me alone?”

His smile instantly turned into an expression of horror. “But why would you want to, Princess?”

Gee, I wonder, I thought sarcastically, but I held my tongue. I closed my eyes, drawing on something deep within me that had never been there before. I opened them and looked into Sir Whatever-his-name’s eyes.

“I am not Princess Tamithia,” I told in a soft but powerful voice.

His eyes became troubled, conflicted. “I… but…”

“I am not Princess Tamithia,” I repeated more forcefully, and instantly his eyes became dull and lifeless.

“You are not Princess Tamithia,” he repeated after me.

I smirked. “After we are through here, you will leave. You will think about our meeting and realize that the current royal family is doing a very good job and should not be bothered. In fact, you will try to convince others of this as well. And you will give up looking for the princess – you realize now that it really isn’t worth it.” I then started to feel sorry for him again; really, he was just trying to do what he thought was right, even if he was wrong. “You will also find a nice, pretty girl to settle down with, and you will be happy with your life.”

“As you say,” he droned. I snapped my fingers, and he snapped out of his trance. “I’m terribly sorry,” he said. “There seems to have been some sort of mistake…” He turned and made his scrambled his way onto his horse, not trying so hard now that he thought I was just a normal farm girl. “Sorry for any trouble I may have caused!” he called as he rode away.

I heaved a sigh of relief and started to pick up the milk pail, then stopped. Why should I, when I could easily have others do it for me?

I laughed suddenly as the possibilities opened before me. I walked back to the house, ideas whirling in my mind. Ruling an entire country would be too much work, but I could easily handle becoming the goddess of a small farming village.