Darkness, Why is it dark? I strain my eyed only to find that I can't see. My body grows frantic, my hands reaching forward only to find the depth of nothingness. I steady myself to feel a wet substance beneath me. Panic, I feel it rising within me, bubbling like hot larva under my skin, it's uncomfortable. I try to scream, my raspy voice calling but no sound emerges out of my empty body. The last drop of moisture is used to soften my tongue to try and scream again, but nothing. It's too quiet, too dark. I lunge my hopeless body forward for it only to find the cold concrete floor. I try to calm myself, my mind is a babble of voices rolled together, each screaming dictations like an army major. A mixture of 'run', 'stay', 'scream', 'cry' shout hopelessly in my mind, every word conflicting with the last.
I heave my heavy body around and claw at the darkness. My nails scratch something, I try to grasp it. Cloth; a rough texture, a mix, coarse like denim but soft in my girlish hands, my mind and sense tells me it's linen. My mind is racing now, asking questions, 'where am I?''Why am I here?' 'Who am I?'. That last question fools me, who am I? My brain aches as cells busy themselves digging for information, only the filing cabinet in my head is missing that file. Bile creeps up my throat, climbing its acidy mountain, burning my mouth in a fight of PH. My stomach heaves, pushes and I feel the sticky substance pass. Like tar, a bile glue releases from my lips, slopping on the floor, echoing, mocking as it lands. It is only now that I am aware that I'm sitting in my own filth, my own rotting flesh. My mind assumes that I'll die here. My body is tired; it lags like an iron weight has been forced on my shoulders. I fight; I don't want it to be this way, and I refuse to be taken into the empty abyss. Pain tempts me and the darkness of this place calls for me to join in the emptiness of unconsciousness.
I prop my ailing body up, keeping my hands on this cold floor, making the bite of frost keep me alive. The empty feeling calls and I answer as my fragile body is fails me.