WARNING: MINOR BL CONTENT. meaning Boys love, or male homosexual relationships.
However, it is incredibly minor, and contains nothing graphic... seeing as I'm not at that level yet.
But if you are in anyway uncomfortable with this, please leave the story.

A/N:This is completely a work of fiction, I'm sorry for offensive materials. They were not intended...

Saddest Song

The melody was soft, quietly repeating the same chorus over and over again. The tone was almost melodramatic, but in some depth, it held a bitter aftertaste. Despite beautiful, the music was a heartbreaking piece.

Ryo relinquished his soul, drowning in the forlorn air. Every note, every detectable sound was a piercing knife, cutting against his heart. Why is it that the once intoxicating music has become the bane of his existence? The music was like a poison, forcing him to relive the pain, the memory, his world boarding on destruction, over and over again.

That song, to him, was like the aftertaste of an addiction.

The song he once loved so much wasn't the same anymore. The music now reminded him of a shattered hope, the world balancing on existence and destruction, his everything...

That song has lost it's essence. Because the haunting voice singing the lyrics, singing his whole life, was gone. The boy shining gloriously on stage, captivating his heart, vanished. The voice that's like a drug, making him live on the peak of his existence, yet consuming his everything, disappeared...

The same music replayed again, but hollow without his voice. Like an echo, faintly existing. To Ryo, that is worst suffering...

“That's enough.” His voice commanded quietly, and the music stopped playing. The silence was a bliss, and even for a milli second, he was free from that enrapturing music. No matter how short lived his comfort, no matter how many times the melody replays in his brain afterwards, the silence was soothing.

His words, my world. His voice, my pain. His existence, is my everything...

“I'm sorry ,” the bartender stood in front of him, “but I'm afraid he's not coming anymore.” Ryo closed his eyes, knowing that more than anyone else. He downed the last bit of his drink, numbing his brain with the sensation. Without a word, he slowly got up and left the place.

The bartender looked after his retreating shadow and pitied him deep within his heart. That man, so refined in dignity, who held so much power and luxury, who could've had anything he wanted, was lost... He was lost in his own blind desires for something impossible to attain; a human heart. It was something money, power, nothing, could buy. The bartender sighed with grief for Ryo and continued working.

XoXoXoXo

It's been a long time, Kiyo wondered if Sora still remember Ryo's face. He wondered if Sora has even felt a milli fraction ounce of hurt Ryo has suffered in the past several years since he was lost from Ryo's life. It's been so long... But Kiyo knew he couldn't stand not doing anything while his friend's life slip away from them forever. Kiyo was trying to save a soul...

He looked up when the door to the penthouse opened, and saw Shige walking towards them with a troubled frown. “Have you located him yet?” Kiyo asked hopefully. Shige sighed and shook his head. They were on the brink of despair, there was no trace at all. No matter how hard they searched, contacting every single one of Sora's relatives, friends, but finding nothing at the end of the day. It was frustrating.

“Let's give up.” Massu voiced aloud at the other side of the room, and every pair of eyes turned to him. He sighed and looked down on the floor, heaving out a frustrated breath. Kiyo stared at Massu, eyes unblinking.

“Ryo is our friend isn't he?” Shige quietly said by the couch, and dropped his head on his arms. Closing his tired eyes, Shige's face looked a thousand years old. Kiyo looked at Shige's hazy form, and could find no words to settle the rigid air of conflict. Massu, as if realizing the weight of his own words, looked at the floor and remained quiet.

“Is it okay to leave him dying like this?” Shige's voice echoed in all of their minds, over and over agan...

The room was dimly lit, creating an atmosphere where everything was hidden behind the dark interiors. Music played in the background, the same music that captivated Ryo's soul was humming seductively, filling the space with concealment. And in the darkness of it all, he had appeared. Like the angel of death, stealing Ryo's life away with his song.

Completely mesmerized. That was what it was back then. Ryo was taken by this boy who appeared so frail, but whose voice was so penetrating it shakes his heart. A voice so clear, almost vibrating against the quiet room, and so seductive it's hard to tune away. A young boy, no more than 19, stood in the center of the room. And who almost instantly became Ryo's obsession.

Nothing people say could convince him otherwise, that this young boy could be anything less of an angel. It was something that far surpassed simple adoration. Intoxicated... Maybe that was what it was back then. Every crevice of Ryo's soul, was captivated by this boy's sheer being. He was there, unwavering, clearly existing. However unreal it felt afterwards, that someone so beautiful could simply appear like that. And to fall so irrevocably in love with him afterwards, in almost a milli seconds' time. Everything was so blurred by the surrealness of it all, sometimes Ryo wished he hadn't met this breathtaking boy...

Their eyes had met across the room, for about a fraction of a second's time, Ryo lost his breath. That boy's eyes made Ryo realize what he wanted with his everything... He glanced down at his Hermes watch, it read 11:35. It was late, and people only started to come in now. His Armani suit makes him alien in this surrounding, but Ryo didn't care.

Ryo sat there, eyes studying the boy non stop until their eyes would meet for a few fraction of seconds that he becomes satisfied to finally look away. And his Prada phone continuously vibrates to the side. Reminding him there were more important business that involved more important people. However, the Ryo then, was like a lovestruck boy who could care less about anything else but the boy's life on the palm of his hand. In the short lived minutes that Ryo met this boy, fate marked Ryo's defeat.

XoXoXoXo

Ryo remembered their first encounter, it was something, surely, and clearly engraved in his brain for a long time to come.

However beautiful, they were memories... That was all there is now, isn't it? Because, after all, Sora had disappeared. All of the memorable moments, were pure heartache. From the moment when he had chosen to pursue his dream over Ryo, from the moment he could no longer sing for Ryo, it was over... everything, and to some extent, a part of Ryo died with it. The once arrogant boy, so full of pride and youth, has now become like an ancient man who had gone through so many hardships and anguish, who had a part of himself die right in front of his own eyes, someone who had experienced real pain. Ryo has become someone like that now. And everything, for the sake of that boy alone... It was heartbreaking...

Maybe people would've thought otherwise about his choice to pursue someone like Sora at Ryo's status. But to Ryo, none of that mattered. In his eyes, there is only one person, who is, and always will take the preponderance part of himself. It was frustrating.

“I want you to sing for me.” Ryo met his eyes with intensity. There was something in those orbs that confused Sora. And the words itself hardly made any sense at all. The man in front of Sora, was strange. His clothes, his hair, the accessories that adorned his body, even his scent screamed he doesn't fit in. And yet to talk so confidently, in a request that hardly made any sense at all. It was strange.

“Eh?” Sora's reaction was slower than normal, it took a while for Ryo to realize it was complete confusion. Ryo frowned, not knowing if he could make his words any simpler than it was spoken.

“I said, I want you to sing for me.” He looked at the young boy, calculating his every reaction. Studying his every curve, every detailed features and hiding the adoration behind that practiced mask of calm.

“But I-”

“Don't get me wrong,” Ryo cut in before Sora could say anything else. “I'll pay you. Twenty-thousand yen a minute. Every day that I come here, just sing for me alone.” Ryo's gaze was heated, unwavering, staring at the young boy with perfectly concealed want. And his tone leaves little room for objection.

Maybe he feared rejection, but almost immediately afterwards, Ryo stood up and left. “I'll come again tomorrow. Wait for me.” He quickly muttered to the stunned boy, and disappeared in the midst of it all. Without another sound, another word, another notion of acknowledgment, Ryo was gone like that. Stealing his breath away. Sora looked after his shadow, heart beating faster and faster. He wondered what he was, whose presence is like the sun, stunning his world with light.

Even though beautiful, even though heart breaking, it was a sad memory. Ryo smiled, a breath taking smile, with true and full sincerity, but with sadness written behind every crevice. An agonizing expression, that was what Kanou thought as she looked at the beautiful man. Feeling this pain, his grief even if it's perfectly hidden, behind that forever confident face. It breaks her...

“Ryo.”

He looked up, meeting the girl's eyes with his own dead ones. There was nothing in those orbs, they were blank. Like white oblivion, and it kills Kanou.

“Hey.”

“I didn't notice you.” Ryo said quietly. Kanou forced a smile, despite knowing Ryo can no longer notice another person's soul.

It was almost dark, dusk is always the saddest moment of a day. As if signaling an ending, long awaited yet unwanted. It was the only time of the day where everything seemed hazy and clouded. Where peaceful air becomes overridden with sadness and solitude. And the rest of the world cease it's volume. Ryo sits, surrounded by an air of desolation.

Kanou quietly sat down beside him on the cold bench. Both awaiting the other to say something, anything to conquer the deafening silence. Kanou finally spoke up after so long.

“Why are you here?” Kanou's words were always so tender, spoken like a mother trying to comfort her child. It's made Ryo uncomfortable since the day they'd met. But Ryo also knew, Kanou only speeks like that to himself.

“Who knows...” Ryo answered softly. But resurfacing in his mind's eye, were the truth behind his dwelling. In this park located near the sea was where he parted with Sora, the last time he ever saw that beautiful boy again. And maybe subconsciously, he was waiting for him to come back to the exact place where he had left.

Kanou didn't even look at Ryo, she whispered the words beside Ryo's ear. “You're lying.” Ryo laughed bitterly upon hearing the accusation, blaming Kanou for knowing him too well.

“Then what do you want me to say?” Ryo looked away, avoiding his friend's gaze.

“Who knows,” Kanou smiled, but knowing the truth before it was even spoken. Silently revealing the lie as it was meant to be exposed. Ryo looked down and didn't say anything else, because Kanou's words were penetrating... They sat like that for what felt like forever's time, with a mutual silence engulfing them whole. There was no discomfort, only the heat of the other in the brisk winter air.

“Whatever,” Ryo sighed tiredly, furrows forming between his brows. “ I'm leaving.” He stood up, slowly pained by his friend's comfort. And Kanou's heart ached slightly. She stared after Ryo's firm, strong back, hating herself for not capturing this man's heart years ago when there was only herself in Ryo's life.

“Wait.” Her voice was commanding.

Ryo turned around, a sad, empty smile on his face. The same smile that kills Kanou's heart, yet makes her love this man with all the intensity there is. She stood up and took Ryo's hand in her own. For a second, there was no reaction from Ryo, but when Kanou felt fingers tightening around her own, her heart was instantly swarmed with warmth. There is no stopping to this heart breaking love, she will die a slave to this heartache.

They walked together side by side. Yet in some depth of it all, Ryo wished it was someone else standing beside him. Wished it was someone else's hand in his own. Yearning that love more and more, hoping Sora will return to him...

“Hey, Ryo.” Kanou said quietly, grasping onto his hand a little harder. “I really envy you, you know that?” Kanou smiled.

Ryo stared at Kanou, a hopeless smile on his face. “Why?”

“Because...” Kanou hesitated, face a saddened smile, knowing the outcome already. “You are beautiful, Ryo.”

He was stunned for a second, but didn't say anything else. There was no reply to this completely false, yet heart breaking answer.

“In my next life,” Kanou turned to Ryo and a childish grin played on her face. “I wish to be you.” With that one sentence, Ryo was struck speechless.

“Huh?”

Kanou laughed, hiding her tears behind that smiling face. “If I were you...” Kanou's voice turned quieter, “then I can choose to fall in love with myself.” Her tone was so serious, yet the content of what she just said made Ryo smile in confusion.

“What are you talking about, idiot.”

Kanou laughed at him,“You don't understand what I'm saying because you don't feel my pain.” It was intended to be a joke, with no deeper meaning embedded, however to Kanou, it was the inevitable truth. Kanou looked down, and knew the meaning behind Ryo's silence instantly.

Ryo was torn. He's in a confused state where the past and reality mingle together in a vague line. Ryo was caught in his own memories of Sora, because although his memories were beautiful, it was blinding at the same time. It continuously prevents Ryo from seeing reality as it is, and always haunts Ryo with it's beautiful illusion. It felt as though Ryo is living in the present, but his soul dwells in the past. He was lost in himself...

Kanou looked at Ryo's passive face, his indifference to everything, and her heart cried out to this lonely man.

“Ryo, what are you waiting for?” Kanou's voice resounded in the air.

“I'm not waiting for anything.” Ryo said quietly. He stared into Kanou's eyes for a second, without an ounce of doubt or uncertainty, Ryo smiled sadly, “I'm running after him.”

Kanou was reduced to speechlessness. The Ryo she once knew disappeared. A man who knows exactly what he wants in life, without falter or regret. A man who's suffering silently in solitude. And a man who's trying with everything he have to attain what he want the most. Ryo changed. He wasn't the old Ryo who waits for the world to succumb under his hands. And Ryo never felt so far away...

“You changed, Ryo.” Kanou said carefully. For a moment she thought Ryo would deny it, she thought Ryo would become his old, stubborn self again, however, Ryo only smiled and looked down.

“I did change.” Kanou was speechless once again. “I've grown.” Ryo's eyes were glazed. They were too deep for Kanou to read, and it unsettles her.

The Ryo in front of her, has become unreachable...“Yes. You've grown so much, I can't reach you anymore.” Kanou heaved a long sigh, and looked at Ryo's face.

Kanou's voice quivered as she slowly murmured the phrase ending her yearning.“Maybe it's time to finally let go.” She paused and let out a small smile. Ryo met Kanou's eyes, and in that second, something between them formed. A bond deeper than mutual understanding, deeper than the past infatuation could ever explain, something similar to friendship. And the wall was finally destroyed.

Kanou buried her head in Ryo's chest and whined through her tears, “but I don't want to let go.” Her voice was a quiet mumble, and her shoulders shook with suppressed emotions. When she pulled away and looked up again, there was no sadness on Kanou's face, only silent determination glistening in her wet orbs. “I really lost to Sora this time, didn't I?” Kanou gave a small smile, and Ryo smiled with her.

His friend chose what would finally give them both freedom and release. Ryo was happy for Kanou in the least. The moon gave a hollow sheen on Ryo's face, and Kanou forced her eyes away from this beautiful man. Time paced slowly, and no words were spoken. Silence was broken by the sudden sound of a cellphone ringing. It took both of them a while to realize it should be answered, and Ryo hastily fumbled in his pockets.

The cold night air made Ryo shiver a little as he answered the call from Shige.

“Hello?”

“Ryo! Where are you?” Shige's urgent tone on the other line made Ryo frown.

“I'm with Kanou, what's up?” Ryo gave a confused look. When did Shige start worrying about his whereabouts.

“Come back home right now!” Shige almost yelled into the phone, and Ryo cleared his throat slightly.

“Why would-”

“We found Sora!” Ryo was cut off like that. Shige's voice was a mixture of joy and urgency, and Ryo felt his body run cold. Time stood still, all Ryo heard was his own heart beat. He dropped the phone and sprinted in the direction of his house, leaving a stunned Kanou behind without another word. The passing scenery became nothingness, and Sora's smile faintly lingers in his mind.

XoXoXoXo

“What's your name?”

“Sora,” the boy answered. However quiet his reply may be, it was the most irresistible voice...

Ryo looked at the boy's features. His face was feminine and delicately shaped. It was unlike a male's, and Ryo was attracted even more by his exotic presence. Sora didn't look like he belonged to this world...

Sora wasn't the same, Ryo knew that much. The way he spoke with timid shyness, yet an intimacy beyond what the eyes could read. Everything that he did was infinitely seductive, and Ryo was being drawn unconsciously to this exotic creature.

“So...ra ...” Ryo relished the word in his mouth, and the boy smiled upon hearing his name being spoken. In that instant, Ryo forgot to breath.

The boy's smile was bright and unconcealed. It revealed his honest innocence to the whole world. To Ryo, it felt like everyone had held their breath as he had, and the time stopped.

Ryo remembered he was instantly obsessed with the boy. Sora, with just a glance, a smile, became Ryo's obsession.

Before Ryo even made it to his house, he saw Massu waiting for him outside with panic on his face. Ryo stopped for breath and Massu turned to look at him with a resigned smile.

“You're finally here.” His voice was soft and held a small fringe of sadness.

“You found Sora?” Ryo spoke, trying to conceal his shaky tone with a failing calm, and Massu smiled.

“Yea... He's in New York, working at a bar called 'Blue Dreams'. It's in a remote area, but you'll find him if you search hard enough.” Massu said with finality. Ryo smiled at his friend.

“Thank you.” His voice never sounded so sincere, showing the world nothing but Ryo's raw, naked weakness. Since the very beginning, Ryo has been doing everything he could to find Sora in any crevice of the world. Since the very moment Sora walked away from Ryo's life, Ryo never gave up searching, never abandoned the hope that Sora will eventually return to him one day. But time took it's toll, and Ryo was sick of living by an empty hope. With time, and loneliness, Ryo realized it was up to him to bring Sora back. He searched even harder for Sora. All over Japan, Ryo searched to no avail. To the extent where he doubted his own sanity, and if meeting Sora was only just a dream, a beautiful illusion...

But when the words echoed in his brain for the first time, “we found Sora,” Ryo was overwhelmed with a happiness beyond this world, he felt like crying.

XoXoXoXo

“Ryo?” Sora asked cautiously, standing nervously in front of Ryo's curious gaze.

“Hmm? What is it?” Ryo asked with a small smile on his usual stoic features. Sora never called out to him unless it was something important. The Ryo then, was naïve enough to believe Sora was about to confess his undying love to Ryo's greatness. The thought made Ryo smile a victorious and content smile.

Ryo prepared for the confession, because he was so certain Sora was finally able to give in to his love and was ready to bask in it for eternity. But his smile immediately faltered when the sad, dismal words were spoken with a frightening finality. “I'm leaving.” It took two words for Ryo to reach hell and back, it took two words for Ryo to realize the ugliness that is life.

“What?” His voice was dangerously low, Ryo was afraid of what he might do to the boy standing with infinite fear and sadness in his eyes.

“I'm leaving this place.” Sora spoke once again, this time, with a slightly louder voice than before, and a lingering stare into Ryo's lost eyes.

“You're leaving?” Ryo asked slowly and quietly. “As in quitting the job here at the bar?” Ryo tried to make sense of it, but his heart was pounding so hard he couldn't hear his own words.

“No. I'm leaving Japan.” Sora's words were gentle, he was trying to grant Ryo a gentle fall. He knew Ryo wasn't going to let him go, that's why in order to dim the hurt for even a fraction, he was prepared to disappear from Ryo's life like he never existed. In Sora's heart, he just wanted to preserve Ryo's smile and wishing time will eventually heal the wound he was about to inflict on this painfully handsome man.

“You're leaving...Japan?” Ryo asked shakily, trying to suppress the overwhelming emotions raging in his irrationallity. His calm was only a mask from the panic clouding his mind. The world was slipping by, in such a cruel way.

“I can't stay here forever,” Sora tried to smile, but his heart was being trampled on by Ryo's pain stricken face.

“Yes you can!” Ryo's voice was louder than usual, and it frightens Sora. “Stay in Japan with me. I'll give you everything you need, I'll buy you whatever you want, and I'll pamper you, I'll spoil you, I'll do anything for you!" The pain in Ryo's voice felt like it was stabbing Sora, and yet all he could think to do is to push Ryo further away. "Please, just don't say you'll leave Japan.” Ryo's eyes were red, he was doing all he could to keep the hot tears from spilling over. The Ryo then, believed materialistic needs could keep Sora from leaving.

“Is it because of me? Did I do something wrong?” Ryo tried once again when Sora remained quiet. He fisted his hands to prevent it from shaking, and he desperately searched for Sora's eyes amongst his almost blank conscious.

“It's not you, Ryo.” Sora said in such a small voice Ryo had to strain to hear.

“Then why?” Ryo's voice was angry, because it was the only form of emotion he could express to hide the hurt and the fear of losing Sora.

“I have a dream, Ryo." Sora spoke. "Ever since I was in my mother's womb, listening to her sing, since the moment I could open my mouth and make any musical note on my own, I knew it was something I needed to do. And if I don't pursue this dream, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.” Sora's eyes were sad, “I don't want to live in pain...” He gave Ryo a final answer, an answer Ryo couldn't refuse. He had to let go, Ryo realized.

“And you can't have your dream come true here in Japan?” Ryo asked in futility, his eyes were blurred and misty. He was holding on to his composure with sheer willpower alone.

Sora shook his head. A hopeless smile, a forced tenderness on his otherwise forlorn face. “I'm sorry, Ryo...”

At the sound of his name being spoken, Ryo sucked in a deep breath and he felt his heart stop. Ryo looked into Sora's eyes, desperately searching for any ounce of love. Because when Sora had said his name, he heard compassion and sadness and love all mingled together.

“Sora, tell me one last thing,” Ryo said, his calm voice betraying his turbulence. “Have you ever loved me?” It was a question that left Sora numb. There was no way to answer this question without hurting Ryo somehow.

Sora smiled a sad smile, “I don't know.” He said with a finality.

Ryo laughed bitterly, “I see.” He couldn't accept Sora's answer after all. “When are you leaving?” Ryo asked.

“Tonight.” Sora said just like that, and Ryo wondered how he could be so cruel to leave without giving any form of warning. It was so sudden he gave no time for Ryo to prepare for his leave.

“And you tell me now?” Ryo accused with a numbing hurt.

“I'm sorry.” He realized it was the second time Sora has said that. And Ryo knew any amount of apology wasn't going to ease the pain of parting.

Ryo looked at Sora's eyes for the very last time, and he found a sadness beyond words could describe. “Don't go.” Ryo couldn't hold it any longer, he pulled Sora in a tight embrace, almost leaving no space for breathing. He felt something slip in his jacket pocket, but he didn't care. All he wanted was Sora's body in his own to the end of time.

A gentle push separated Sora's body from Ryo's tight embrace, and Sora stepped back. His face looked as if he was about to cry.

“I have to go now.” Sora spoke, as if to no one in particular. And Ryo felt his world close in a little bit more. He felt the dread of losing Sora for the first time, and he saw the life he will lead without Sora by his side. And tears finally made their way down his cheeks.

Like life was ending.

He held on to Sora's hands, and their fingers intertwined, then slipped further and further apart. Ryo, until the last instant, continues to search for Sora's true feelings. Because if he felt any ounce of love towards himself, he would instantly hold on to Sora like he was the last string to life. Sora's form got smaller, and smaller. The distance was making details fuzzy, but Ryo never reverted his gaze as the last bit of Sora's shadow disappeared from Ryo's sight completely. Ryo didn't run after him, because he knew it'll only prolong the hurt that is parting.

When Ryo felt the bulge in his jacket pocket for the first time, he reached in and pulled out a rather large envelope. He opened the seal to find 5 million yen in there, untouched. He realized it was all the money he had given Sora to sing for him, and he felt stupid for ever thinking Sora was in it for the money. Ryo dropped the envelope until white cash was spilling around his two feet. He buried his face in his hands and cried.

“I don't want the money, you idiot.” Ryo's voice was raspy and he felt the burn of tears on his neck, his face and everywhere.

“I just want you here, with me.” In the night air, it was the saddest song that still lingers in Ryo's mind. A beautiful boy with a beautiful voice, disappearing in a beautiful and magnificent way. Taking Ryo's heart and soul with him.

XoXoXoXo

It was early December, Ryo's Ferragamo shoes made a distinct clacking sound in the quiet alleyway. His Porsche was only a few hundred meters away, parked safely in the isolated parking lot. The ground was wet from the melting snow in New York City, and the sun has long set behind the horizon. Not far from Ryo's dwelling, was a small building, with blue neon lights flickering, writing the words 'Blue Dreams'.

Ryo stood outside the bar, he could vaguely hear the music playing inside. It was a nice and clean bar, refined from the outside, and Ryo knew it wasn't a place for scums and mad alcoholics. Knowing Sora is working in a place like this, soothes Ryo. He tried pushing the door open, but he couldn't seem to calm down his furiously pounding heart. He stepped back and pondered near the door way, furrows between his brows.

“Here, did you want to go inside?” A soft voice spoke beside him, and he looked up to see a girl holding the door open, expecting him to walk in. She possessed a lovely voice, with a lovely smile.

“Yes, thank you.” Ryo answered genuinely.

“No problem.” The girl flashed Ryo one last smile, and disappeared inside the bar's dark interior. Ryo stared at her back as he walked inside as well. The music was louder once inside the bar, and the atmosphere made Ryo flinch. Maybe he was hallucinating, but Ryo swore he could hear the incessant ticking of his Marc Jacobs watch even above the loud music. All uneasiness was increased ten folds, and his heartbeat resounds vividly beside his ears. He could literally feel the rush of the blood within his veins, and he never felt more anxious in his life.

Ryo looked around the bar, searching, inspecting the faces of each and everyone of the people in there. And he once again felt painfully alienated in those Canali suits at a bar like this. However, the image of the gorgeous boy in his memory never appeared. All he could make out was the faces of the many foreign man he couldn't recognize nor even bothers to care. The face of Sora flashes in his mind continuously.

“Excuse me,” Ryo sat down in front of a counter and asked the bartender standing behind, wiping glasses and sorting whine bottles.

“Yes?” The middle aged man turned friendly eyes on him and smiled an amiable smile. Ryo turned paranoid eyes on the man for about a seconds time, wondering if the bartender could recognize Ryo from Time's Magazine when he had been on the cover several years ago. But then again, who was he kidding.

“Do you know a person named Sora?” Ryo asked in his accented English, but when confusion made it's way onto the bartender's face, Ryo frowned and cleared his throat. “He's a boy who works here.”

“Sora?” The foreigner asked without much progress

“Sora Takuya. He's Japanese like me.” Ryo frowned and said Sora's name slower this time.

“Japanese? ...Oh!” Ryo finally felt hopeful for the first time when realization hit the bartender.

“I just started working here, but I know this guy who comes to sing here every now and then...” It took Ryo a while to fully comprehend the words being spoken. He smiled when he finally did.

“I see.” That was all Ryo said as he pointed to the XO bottle by the counter, signaling what he wanted to the working bartender.

“Is he going to come tonight?” Ryo asked hopefully.

“Most likely. He's been coming here a lot lately.” The man answered upon some moments of contemplation. “Why? You know him?” The bartender asked Ryo once again, this time, with a glint of interest and laughter in his eyes as he passed Ryo his drink.

Ryo looked at him, and took a sip of the liquid. “Sort of,” Ryo smirked.

Suddenly, the lights went dim, and the background music changed to another piece, a hauntingly familiar tune that has Ryo's heart skip a beat. A familiar form stood on stage, with a familiar posture and a familiar air about him that makes it hard for Ryo to breath. For a second, Ryo thought this was all just a dream. Because like the first night Ryo had met him, Sora stole Ryo's breath away once again, with breathless ardor.

“Sora ...” Ryo whispered the name, and his heart, as if instinctively, winced at the breathtaking voice singing that breathtaking song.

It's been three years since they parted, and Sora looked like he hadn't aged a day. His face was still so painfully ethereal, his voice is still so enrapturing and infinitely seductive. Sora's body moved in a subtle way, but irresistible beyond what the eyes could see. Ryo felt his throat tighten, and all he could manage to do was take another sip of his Hennessy. Hoping upon hope this wasn't a dream.

Across the dark room, their eyes met. Sora's face was written with surprise and shock, Ryo swore he heard a quiver in his singing voice. And Ryo suddenly felt a strong impulse to run over to Sora's side and just hug him like his life hangs on it.

The song hit it's climax, Ryo felt hot tears brimming along his tear ducts. Sora's voice made the song a hundred times more beautiful. It felt like Sora was singing Ryo's life away, killing him softly... It was a disappointment when the song came to an end, and all Ryo focused on was the beautiful boy on stage, blocking out the numerous cat calls and hollers of appraisal. Their eyes never left each other once...

Sora walked closer to Ryo, and his heart slowed down to a frightening pace.

“Hey,” Sora said in a breathless voice. Ryo's throat was too dry to say anything.

“What are you doing here?” Sora asked, and gave a small smile. How much of it was genuine, Ryo didn't know.

“I came here to take you back to Japan.” Ryo said it firmly, staring straight into Sora's eyes. His heart pounds vigorously in his chest, not knowing the answer that was about to come.

Sora gave a sad expression, and his eyes were written over in regret and a hurt that pains Ryo to no end. “I can't,” Sora said in the softest voice, it was hard to hear above the background music.

“Why?” Ryo didn't even wait for Sora to finish what he was about to say. That simple dejection hurt him more than he was willing to show. Although his tone was certain and firm, his eyes quivers with suppressed emotions.

“I'm engaged, Ryo.” Sora's eyes looked clear and almost as if brimming with tears under the dimly lit room. Ryo felt a new wave of sadness well up inside himself, he felt like his world was ending.

“Engaged?” Ryo asked, his voice was uncontrollably shaky. “To whom?”

“I met her when I first came to America.” Sora's voice was faint. “She was the only one I depended on when I was here alone.” His eyes were casted downwards, “I never knew the world was bright until I met her.” Sora's voice sounded tender when he spoke of her, only when he spoke of her.

“Why?” Tears that Ryo's been holding in for so long spilled over, and his voice was so quiet, written with immense hurt in his raspy tone.

“Because I know it's time to move on, Ryo.” Sora sounded definite. His eyes weren't uncertain anymore, and Ryo realized Sora was stronger than he ever was. “Because I know there's no end between us. I need closure and stability.” Sora's voice was calm despite the desperate emotions behind those orbs.

“And I can't give you those things?” Ryo asked, his eyes betraying the anger in his tone.

Sora looked torn, and lost. “I don't know.” He answered truthfully.

“I can't accept that as an answer.” Ryo spoke with a frightening calm. “I can give you anything you want,” Ryo blinked back a few rebellious tears, “but say you'll come back to me.” His voice was so sincere it was heartbreaking.

“Ryo, stop.” Sora closed his eyes, like pushing back unwanted tears. “I'm not going back to Japan.” Those words held a fringe of finality to them, they frightened Ryo to no end. Will he really lose Sora like this...?

Ryo's lips turned upwards, forcing a sad smile on his flawless face. “Am I not good enough?” Ryo gave a last attempt to capture Sora with his haunting words.

“Let me go, Ryo.” Sora almost sounded resigned. Ryo never felt more insignificant under Sora's tired gaze.

“How...?” In the dark room, at the back of the bar, hidden behind the unfamiliar interior, chatter never stopped. Ryo strained to hear Sora's voice, his words and Sora's pain.

“Find happiness.” Sora said slowly, enunciating both words, searching for Ryo's eyes. Sora's hands were placed awkwardly to his sides, as if straining to make it remain there and to refrain from reaching out to Ryo.

A lone tear slipped from his eye, and Ryo's world closes in a little bit more. “My happiness is with you.” He said.

That was the first time Sora was reduced to speechlessness. He could find no response to those agonizing words.

Time passed, a second at a time, until an eon later. They stood there, staring into the universe behind the other's eyes. And Ryo never felt more like he was in a dream than he did at that moment.

His eyes were glazed, they were glassy with millions of unsaid words. But Ryo understood, everything since the moment Sora said he can no longer sing for Ryo. “I'm sorry.” Sora's words meant an end, but this kind of ending, is too cruel.

“Don't say that to me,” Ryo's tone was defiant, they were tainted with the bitterness of fear. Fear of losing Sora continuously crawls in the depth of Ryo's heart. However, it only angered Ryo even more when Sora stayed silent. Knowing words can't penetrate Ryo's futile denial.

After so long, Sora finally spoke up, “Ryo, you have to let me go.” Ryo closed his eyes upon hearing the familiar words once again.

“I'm living my dream here, and you can't take that away from me no matter what you do.” Ryo's eyes squinted in rebellion and blatant denial.

“Make those dreams come true in Japan, there with me.” Ryo continued a little bit more. Sora only sighed heavily and closed his eyes to keep from slipping his tired gaze.

“I'm signing a record label next week, not a major one, but I'm making progress. I can't give everything up after I've worked for it for so long.” Sora's tone vibrates with a sense of pride and composure so foreign to Ryo. “And besides,” Sora's eyes lifted up a little. His tone a little bit softer, “I can't leave Eva here alone in America.” Sora paused a little, his tone was an unexplained tenderness that wasn't reserved for Ryo. “She's important to me.” At that moment, Sora's resolute tone slowly makes it's way inside Ryo's hardened heart.

“Is this it?” Ryo asked, his voice sounded shaky and wary. “After three years...” Ryo paused a little, “you're cruel, Sora.” His eyes were unreadable, they were dangerously dark. Ryo was holding back a feral side of himself, a side that would no doubt force Sora back to his side. With any means necessary, and they both knew Ryo had the power. There was definitely nothing to hold him back if that side of him were to be unleashed. Sora knew Ryo had his connections, either with the legal or illegal authorities.

But, there was no way to deny the love, the cherished memories Ryo's worked so hard to protect. He won't ever forgive himself if he were to be the cause of Sora's unhappiness.

Sora looked out the window, his eyes frequently lingers on the fallen drapes, a sullen expression, an anticipation for an arrival perhaps. Ryo didn't move, didn't say anything, only silently waiting for any kind of reaction from the other man. The music continuously plays in the background, a different piece every single time. Sometimes, Sora's mind would wonder with the music, sometimes, the weight of the situation in front of him pulls him back down. Ryo, throughout the years, has become something Sora's grown afraid of. What Ryo thought was love, was interpreted as possessiveness and a different kind of emotion by Sora. But Ryo never knew, he never tried to understand the other's unhappiness. But, there was no use saying that now. Sora was determined to be the antagonist in their story. He was okay being seen as the bad guy, the only who who inflicts pain. Because letting Ryo go, was a release to both of them. And all he could do is to stare blankly at Ryo, hoping he would just leave.

Ryo laughed bitterly when he hasn't been able to evoke any kind of reaction from Sora at all. He laughed at his own powerlessness, and Sora's forever indifference since the very beginning. He stared at the blank canvas, stained with his own longing, loathing himself more and more.

The door to the bar clinked open, a girl walked inside. She had long hair, a soft appearance, and a captivating smile. She held a twinge of tenderness in her very core, and a gentle voice when she softly called Sora's name. In the second that Sora noticed her entrance, he was beside her in an instant. Ryo felt minuscule.

“Eva,” Sora said her name, breathlessly. There was love in his usual apathetic eyes. “You came.” Sora gave the softest smile, and Ryo can only bear the searing pain because that smile was never his.

“What's taking you so long?” The girl asked Sora. Her eyes were the softest hazel, and her voice held nothing but care and sweet gentleness.

She turned curious eyes on Ryo almost immediately after she received her fiancée's greeting. Her eyes looked as if she was studying his existence, or simply judging him. But her kind eyes bore into Ryo's soul. He knew she was, ultimately, the only one to gave Sora the closure and stability he said he needed. And when Ryo stared back at her, she gave a small smile signaling a greeting. Ryo didn't smile back, only stared at her with his empty gaze.

When Sora noticed the small gesture by his fiancée, he turned unfamiliar eyes on Ryo and attempted introduction. Ryo stared at Sora's indifference to his being there, and the girl's obvious curiosity towards himself, and all he could think to do is leave. He knows there's nothing else he can do to bring Sora back. There was no bond, no tie to Sora anymore.

When instinctive common courtesy hit Ryo, he turned around and faced the girl for the first time. “Hello,” Ryo turned his practiced smile on Eva, charming and hauntingly handsome. However, none of it reached his eyes. Eva almost blushed. “I'm Ryo, Sora's friend.” He almost paused at the word friend, because he wanted to say so much more than that.

Realization hit the girl's face, and she turned towards her fiancée. “Is this the Ryo you told me about?” She whispered to Sora, her eyes a soft glint of child-like curiosity. Her smile widened when Sora nodded in affirmation.

She turned amiable smile towards his, “nice to meet you.” She spoke enthusiastically. Ryo felt numb.

“Yea,” Ryo reverted his gaze from Sora to the girl and his eyes quivers with suppressed words. “You too.” He said quietly, just barely loud enough for Sora to hear. His lie were the most painful words.

Slowly, Ryo looked around the bar one last time and heaved a shaky breath. He bowed out of instinctive mannerism, and left the couple standing in the bar. He didn't say goodbye, he didn't say anything as he left the room. The world a haze in his eyes. Memories from before finally start to resurface in his mind's eye.

XoXoXoXo

It was a cold evening even in the January air. Any moisture was instantly cooled and froze. The ground was scattered with dirty snow here and there. It was the most unromantic night. The city is unusually loud, and pedestrian lights were flickering madly until one rests in a permanent darkness, and still others continues to flicker. The city scene was unchanging, it always remained the same.

That night, Sora had performed his usual routine. He had gone to work, and is now waiting for the bus to go home. The moon was hidden behind a midst of gray cloud, unromantic like any other city scenery. He really don't ask for much, only a warm cup of coffee in the winter air after a tired day at work. And a lover's hand to hold onto when he's forgotten his gloves. Or even a hand made scarf for Christmas when it's getting cold. That was all he really needed. Sora was easy to please. But as he looked at his bare hands and bare torso, his plastic water bottle already a frozen mess, that was when he begins to get annoyed.

Inside the bus stop provided some sort of shelter from the freezing wind, but the temperature was still as much below zero as it is outside. He shivered in the cold and hating himself for not wearing an extra jacket, or even a scarf when he had gone out this morning.

In his sleep induced state, Sora didn't notice a body approaching his own. A heavy scent of expensive cologne hit Sora's nostrils. It smelled familiar. But it was when he felt a weight on his shoulders that he turned around.

“Ryo?” Sora asked, his eyes widened from the shock. “What are you doing here?” Sora turned curious and surprised gaze on Ryo, and then down at the Louis Viutton leather jacket on his own body.

“What does it look like?” Ryo looked away, his hands working to tighten the jacket around Sora's body. When the situation registered in Sora's brain, he realized Ryo was giving up his own jacket to keep him warm. And the Ryo in front of him was only wearing a white, hand made sweater.

“Are you stupid?” Sora noticed the shadown Ryo's long lashes casted on his cheeks for the very first time, and his heart gently quivered. “You'll freeze and die from hypothermia!” He exclaimed. Ryo gave him a dry look.

“Are you stupid?” Ryo had asked in return, “what kind of idiot wears such thin clothes in this kind of weather?” Ryo accused, a hidden concern behind his tone. Sora pouted and looked down.

“It's okay, I'm not that weak.” Ryo smirked an arrogant smirk, and held on tightly to Sora's hands that were trying to shed the added jacket around his body.

“You're not weak but you're still human,” Sora protested. “I don't need this.” he persisted, eyes a silent determination to gave Ryo his jacket back.

“Oh?” Ryo smirked even more, “is this your way of expressing concern for me?” Ryo's voice held a playful tone, but it silenced Sora's struggling. He turned resigned eyes on Ryo.

“Honestly,” Sora sounded confused, “what are you doing here?”

Ryo stood a little bit closer to Sora at his question. “Because,” his voice a gentle mummer, “I miss you.”

Sora's heart skipped a beat, and it raced unusually fast, he felt at a loss for words. Ryo smirked and pulled Sora into an embrace. His arms locked tightly around Sora's body, securing the little bit of heat there is.

Sora didn't push away like Ryo had anticipated he would. Maybe he was tired today, but Ryo didn't care, he only tightened his arms around Sora's thin shoulders as if daring anyone to break them apart. Sora sighed into Ryo's sweater and leaned into his embrace.

“You smell nice,” Sora mumbled through Ryo's clothes.

“Of course,” Ryo smirked. “Armani.” His tone wasn't intended to be annoying, it sent shivers down Sora's spine.

“Che,” Sora ignored Ryo's previous comment, and only concentrated on the scent emanating from Ryo's body and the jacket around himself.

He buried his face in Ryo's chest, inhaling the sweet Armani scent that is only exclusively Ryo. Feeling his world calm down a little bit at a time. Sora was tired, he felt like he could just sleep in Ryo's arms. And yet, his heart was racing. He contradicts himself, Sora realized.

Ryo's body felt comfy and soft, Sora stared at the sweater labeled 'Kenzo', and gave up the thought of wanting to purchase it. It was iconic of Ryo to wear ridiculously expensive clothes. And it was definitely typical of Ryo to spend a large sum of cash on small details. It drives Sora insane sometimes. Even today, Sora still keeps the Bvlgary watch Ryo had given him for his birthday safely at home. Who knows how much Ryo had spent on it. It was a price commoners like himself wouldn't even have guessed.

And then again, it was when Sora realized Ryo's whole body was branded with all sorts of extravagantly luxurious accessories and clothes, that Sora became aware of their differences.

“Hey, Ryo?” Sora asked quietly.

“Hm?” Ryo exhaled, and his breath that held a vague minty smell sends goosebumps down Sora's neck and body.

“Why me?” Sora pushed away at the question, genuinely curious for the answer. He knew there were tons of more beautiful people than himself. Rich and much more suitable to Ryo than he could ever be. They were almost a world apart. It was a fact that constantly pulls Sora back to earth and make himself register the weight of the situation. It's always made him self-conscious and painfully aware of the fact that Ryo could leave any second like the way he had came.

“You could have anyone, right?” Sora voiced aloud. “Why me?” It was a question that stung his soul.

Ryo didn't say anything, only searched for Sora's eyes. His head bent down to Sora's height, and his eyes met his. In that instant, Sora forgot how to breath.

Slowly, the space between them closes in a bit at a time. Ryo's lips found it's way to Sora's, and they were locked in the most chaste kiss. It wasn't intense at all, only a chaste touch on the lips. However, it send shivers down both their spines, and it was the most heated kiss in the purest way. None of them pulled away, their heartbeat was only the tiniest spaces away. Ryo held onto the back of Sora's head, and he deepened the kiss even more. There was none of the burning sensation of lust, only a passion and an exclusive heat that belonged to the two of them.

When both of them pulled away for air, Ryo leaned his forehead on Sora's, and they just stared into the other's eyes like tomorrow would never come. Their breath mingles in the January air.

“Don't ask me that again,” Ryo quietly whispered into Sora's ear. “I should be the one asking you.” Sora smiled a resigned smile, and he pulled away to look at Ryo's face.

“Sora?” This time, Ryo spoke his name.

“Yes?” Sora answered.

“I love you.”

Sora can vaguely hear Ryo's shaky breaths, his heartbeat slowly pounding in his chest. Their eyes never left each other. Ryo's face held the most undetectable smile, and Sora noticed the coldness of Ryo's hand, his slightly shivering body, and yet still his hand tightening the jacket around Sora's shoulders.

When both of them looked up again and fianlly took in their surroundings, the ground around them were covered with snow. White flakes were dancing down from the sky, slowly, slowly, filling the sky with the it's immaculate beauty. One moment, the winter sky was filled with nothing but a solemn darkness. Now, snow surrounds them, and an irresistible scent lingers in the cold winter air. The snow had fallen silently beside them, as if leaving a nice surprise, and an irreplaceable memory. When Ryo had looked up into the sky, he could still taste the sweetness of Sora's mouth.

“Is this God?” Ryo had joked, but Sora was genuinely touched to the very core. This was, in every single way, the most romantic night.

“Thank you Ryo,” Sora held back tear flakes as he looked down. That three simple words granted Ryo a happiness he has never known existed before.

It continued snowing, the ground was now covered in a white blanket of soft ice. Snow flakes carried on dancing rhythmically in the air, and the coldness engulfs them. However, none of it mattered as it snowed. Sora's hand in Ryo's, silently, watching the snow fall.

It's as if time would slow down when it's snowing, and the world becomes the tiniest bit smaller. There is nothing, but the two of them under the falling snow.

And it only occurred to Ryo now, that Sora never said he loved him back. Only a thank you. And now, a good bye...

End~

NOTE: yen is the Japanese currency system, one US dollar equals to about 95 yen. So 5 million yen is about $50,000 USD.

A/N: So, here it is. It took me about 2 years to write this... a long time for this level of story...
and just so you know, I was incredibly into NewS(a Japanese boy band) when I had started on this story... so you'll see names that I've taken from the group.

P.S: To my dearest Ell, the last scene is for you.