someone who is more like me than i am

i looked up into the lens
of a friend’s camera, aware that
someone was looking back
at me, wondering what
face i was supposed to
put on this time.
i’ve always been able to sense
when eyes are on me.
usually at night i feel
re-born, like someone new or
someone who is more like me
than i am,
but on that evening i had trouble
remembering that girl.
instead i smiled with my
eyes before my lips,
tried to say something elusive
and witty in front of new
acquaintances.
i looked like any other girl at
the concert with green converse shoes
and ruffled boyish hair,
only i didn’t want to be that
girl,
and i must have been the only one
with my knees drawn up to my chest,
living on the outside of the current events,
looking in.
and this boy,
whom i had only just met
could see that when he
took that shot,
i know.

a/n: it's August already, and I just want more.