I know I don't have any prior mention of the guy in this entry. However, I have been fortunate enough to get to see him more than just once a day. I want to be his friend very much, but I don't know if it's possible. And I know that I don't like him in the way that I state in this entry. It's almost 2 months since this entry and it's my fault for not posting it earlier. My apologies.

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I found out the guy's name (the one I've had my eye on). It turns out that he's a Freshman and his name is Leslee Wells. Now that I know his name....I can't get him out of my head. I don't think that he has any idea whatsoever that I like him. It's something I don't necessarily WANT him to know either. From what I know about him, he's not exactly social, but does have friends. I also have noticed that he's quiet when not around his friends. I don't know what he's like when he's with his friends and I don't think I want to know either. However, my feelings towards him....are kinda of mixed, I guess. I like him alot, but he's a Freshman and I'm a Senior. I don't think it would work out with anywhere from 6 months to a year and a half age difference between us. I've learned from that mistake.

My dad replied to the email I sent him yesterday. He was pissed, just like I thought. He shows no respect for me whatsoever. He says that I should not be demanding anything of him, since it is he that does the demanding. Disgusting. He thinks he's the Almighty. Well, he's not and he's not willing to believe that he's human and can make mistakes. He denied me access to my bank account, and now....it's a fucking all out war. I don't care if I continue to piss him off anymore because he has nothing to do with me anymore, despite the fact that I'm his daughter in every physical way.

What's been going on with my dad has affected how I feel about Leslee Wells. I don't want to drag yet another person into my problems. But yet, I feel as though I should because he probably could help me achieve mental stability for the time being.

I don't know what to do. My gut is what's guiding me through my problems with my dad. My heart is guiding me through my dilemma of whether I should tell Leslee about my problems and become a friend of his. All I can do is pray.

May God bless me and keep me through these tough times.